Dalulla's thoughts

Baby steps on hold!

2008-06-24T13:11:00.003+03:00

Well, about my baby steps... they are on hold, have been for some time now! No worries though.. The magazine's system has been changed.. My article was approved but on hold along with the other articles. All writers received an e-mail from the editor informing us that our articles shall be published but not in the coming edition of the magazine since there will be no more magazines.

They have decided to issue annual guides. The articles shall be published according to subject matter in which ever guide they suit. If and when something new happens will tell u. Wish me luck...

Mr. Common Sense will never Rest in peace, it is up to us to help! (Reposted)

2008-05-30T13:57:00.002+03:00

I recieved this piece by mail and felt the need to post it, I only added a part about the divine religions.

Please read:

Remarkable Obituary
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr.Common Sense.Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as divine religions became contraband; churches became businesses, Judaism mistaken for Zionism and Islam labelled as a Terrorist.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement, i.e. Criminals receive better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, tell others about this otherwise, join the majority and do nothing!

I feel blessed.. Thanks to Allah

2008-05-22T12:11:00.005+03:00

I really consider myself to be blessed… I am almost thrity four now.. but feels like a hundred and some years have passed from my life.. Wow! I feel blessed for living those years, with all the good and all the bad. Bad? Hmm, well now no matter how ugly and hurtful it may seem at the heat of the moment, to me “bad” must mean something good to follow. And believe me I have encountered so many difficult and heartbreaking moments in my life mostly caused by people you cannot imagine how close, and of course not to mention sometimes from people who barely even knew me, but were for some reason unreasonably judgmental without even getting to understand why things were the way they were with me. On the other hand, there was always a balance. I believe it was caused by divine justice. This lead that some people I also barely knew supported me in the most peculiar manner…One door would shut and the minute I asked Allah for help a couple were opened wide!

NOW that was what I can easily say about: The Lord works in “mysterious” ways… Ways that have supported me, and all I did was ask and sometimes even without asking. Sometimes injustice befell me, I would cry in silence and deep sorrow and before I knew it, good things would follow. I always believed in my heart in goodness. Goodness just for the sake of goodness, not doing good to get something in return except for a gesture of appreciation and recognition, for example a smile or a simple thank you. Even if the thank you wasn’t rendered then it is fine as long as something good you rendered made a difference. This in my opinion is the greatest thank you that one can get.

Thank God I have a feeling of full satisfaction with everything in my life. I am not rich money wise, but I feel I own the world. I (thank God) have two children but I feel all the world’s children are my own. I do not have a big home in an area where I’d like to be or at least like the one I lived in before I got married, but I feel I have the most beautiful home ever (and very thankful for what I have because unlike others “I HAVE SOMETHING”). I have a man who is not perfect (and who is anyway and that includes me), but I am eternally thankful to Allah for granting him to me. To me he has become the best man there is with all his pros and cons. I can’t imagine anyone else in his place and I love him soo sooo much! He is my angel.. He is the father of my lovely (God Bless) boys.

Change and “development” occur whether we like it or not, but they have to come from within with a conviction that this life is a journey for learning and developing from what we encounter as we walk in the road of life…That is the soul meaning of life, change and development to the better. We must all realize that no one is perfect, but there are ground rules in a human that must be there for one to know that there will be good to come.

I am totally convinced that the “true” Love of God is the secret to being “truly happy”. It brings patience, it brings acceptance to whatever you may encounter throughout this bumpy road of life, it brings peace, it brings blessings to everything imaginable and unimaginable, and finally it leads to happiness and LOVE. The truest love is derived from the love and obedience of Allah.

Oh how I Love Allah, but I am sure not as He loves me (and you).. No matter what we offer it will never suffice for the blessings He bestows on us!

That is particularly the reason why we need not stop at anything. By pleasing Him, we please ourselves! Maybe some people do not yet fully understand that , but I swear that is how it is. That is “the only” way to reach peace of heart and mind no matter what comes our way during this life time and later on in the one to come.

Sometimes in the midst of my most difficult times all of a sudden at some point I find myself saying, It’ll definitely pass and I know that if God put me to it all I need to do is feel confident that I just have to play by the rules and it’ll pass.
This has been happening to me for the past few years. It is the technique of learning to accept whatever comes your way believing that if and when you stick to patience and seeking God’s help everything will pass smoothly. I never said that every thing will go our way, because sometimes what we want is not what is good for us only we do not realize it on the spot. But from previouse experiences I realized that when Allah explained to us to not regret not having something because it may have not had good in it, It is very correct.. It simply is not destined for you, again, for the better good. So many things I wanted, did not have, and now I understood why…

When I look back I immediately thank Allah for preventing me from so many things. I was sometimes given harsh lessons, only to make me softer with others. I have been taught not to be judgmental, to be generous (specially on the human level of emotions) as best as I can, to be kind, tolerant, not to feel offended at just anything, to love all creation, not to hold a grudge for those who hurt me (as best as I can), to hear from both sides when there is a problem, to be patient and to always say the truth regardless of the consequences, to know that when we are put in difficult situations sometimes, that does not mean that Allah is punishing us, rather he is testing us, so always reach out to Him (If he put you to it, He’ll guide you through it) … oh so many things all related to human relations.. things that will lead to good and strong human ties and thereby a better place to live in.

Finally I would just like to say, there is no reason for hatred or envy, we need to start really learning to Love Allah and understand what He taught us because if we really do, this world will become a lovely place to live in. We need to work really hard to set aside our differences and work towards compromises or letting go of things that would cause feuds amongst us.

Finally I just wanted to say, I wish for all of you what I wish for myself that is; happiness, security, peace of heart and mind, love everything… But bare in mind something, my wishes never include wealth in terms of money, not that I would not mind, but for me there are more important things than wealth and power. To me the utmost power is self control and love. Those are the world to me :-)

I am taking Baby Steps..

2008-04-15T22:26:00.002+02:00

Well, today was one of those days, a new day but with a new step I am taking. I’ve always wanted to be a journalist… Long story, that was my major at the American University in Cairo. I never made it to my Bachelor’s degree.. and no not because I am stupid or anything.. I was forced to leave University because of some unfortunate family circumstances. I used to feel so sad every single time this subject came to my mind, because truly I was a victim of circumstance… Or maybe that is the only way I can phrase it. As time passed by however, that feeling began to cave in some how.

As I dwell more into religion, I learn what satisfaction means. Really it is not easy to get one self to feel “Satisfied” truly that is of the outcome of “x” result, but it is good to practice acceptance and moving on with your life knowing that God is kind and has better good in store one way or the other. If not during this life time then in the next insha’Allah (God willing).

Ok here’s the thing.. Back to the “always wanting to be a journalist”… My dentist had told me about blogging because I had told him about my passion for writing.. That was one thing I felt so thankful to him about. Introducing me to the blogosphere was a great thing for me. I know I am not such a great writer but I started doing what I like to do..

One day I was speaking about jobs from home and part time jobs, that these types of jobs are not widespread in Egypt and that I wished I could find something interesting to do from home. I want to eventually work again. I want to feel I am contributing in the finances of the house and kids with my husband. I feel he is overloaded. Thank God we are living just fine, but are totally unable to save anything. Life in Egypt is becoming very difficult. Anyway, Doshar, a very good friend of mine and a fellow blogger on hold for God knows how long, mentioned that her sister in law does work from home. Editing in a magazine or two and also writes articles. I was like WHAT?? Really? I immediately asked Doshar to give me her sister in law’s number so I can ask her if I can try to also write articles from home.

To cut the long story short (again), I managed to get an approval and I just sent my first article for approval and review today!!!

I want anyone who reads this to pray for me that this be my first step towards becoming a good writer. That is all!

Thanks!

BOYCOT CHINESE FUR NOW

2008-03-31T23:44:00.002+02:00

As I write this my heart aches! Brutality! Pure brutality was what I saw this evening on a U-tube video I received on my face book account.

I cannot imagine how brutal human beings can be to animals! Skinning them alive! Bashing their heads to the ground till they die (if they are lucky that is since most them still have beating hearts) or semi-consciouse, the so called chinese BUTCHERS could not care less! They also used metal rods to hit them on the head..

Oh my God I cannot even continue, what I saw was unspeakably horrendous! How can these people possibly be able to sleep at night?

TO CUT THE LONG STORY SHORT: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT BUY ANY CHINESE MADE CLOTHES OR OBJECTS WITH ANY SORT OF ANIMAL FUR, NOT EVEN A LINING. BOYCOT IS WHAT THE ENTIRE WORLD SHOULD DO.

If you want to see for yourself please go to the u-tube site and search for Chinese Fur Cruelty or use this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVqEQ6Np-4Q&feature=related

Also please visit www.peta.org for more information on animal cruelty and how we can help.

Please beware the sites are gruesome.

N.B. This brings the Israeli attitude to my mind! They treat the Palestinians no better than these butchers do the animals.

2008-02-28T09:56:00.002+02:00

In connection to latest silly attempt to bother us Moslems by re publishing useless and worthless cartoons about Prophet Mohammed, I would just like to say this:
· WE Love him no matter what those or others say

· WE follow him because we believe in him and will continue to do so.

· WE now love him more and more with every single wrong doing the others try to commit against him and our love will continue to grow, not only that, but Islam will also keep growing and that is a FACT, mind me!

· Those who mock him and say this is their right to free speech.. well alright then, if free speech means to be vile, then so be it, enjoy your so called “VILE “ freedom of speech.

Strange it is how those people people claim to be civilized!! Does being civilized mean to be so offensive?

Finally, To us, Prophet Mohammad means A LOT. His body may be dead, but he continues to live within each Moslem. He is like the river, flowing to shed beauty and life within our hearts. He is our mentor after Allah and by Allah’s guidance. We love him because Allah loves him as all other prophets. Nothing will shake our love for him.

Allahoma Saly wa salem 3ala khatam al anbya2, Mohammad Ibn Abd-Illah wa salem - May Allah pray and grant peace to the final Prophet, Prophet Mohammad.

2008-02-17T12:43:00.003+02:00

Alsalamo alikom, yes i am back, It had been a long while. I missed my blog and missed every one although i know many of the bloggers i knew have vanished, stopped blogging that is. But anyway, I am open to visitors and new friends.

Ufortunately I am back with a miserable story, but here goes....

When will one ever recognize the difference between sinning and erring.. Sinning is what leads to errs…. There has to be an order for things, and this is I believe the correct way to order them.

A man who is married to a non Moslem who happens to have fought for his commitment to this woman is now beating her! Moreover he is with another woman!
Not only that, he has two lovely children caught up in the middle of this mud-pool of a deteriorating marriage.

I tried by all means to fix this but unfortunately he is not who I thought he was. I found out I was dealing with an irrational person. A person who has given up all aspects of being an Arab, and worst of all of all the good traits a Moslem man should embrace and apply to daily life.

A true Moslem would not inflict harm on others, imagine inflicting harm on the mother of his children. She admitted the fault was hers and that she had a great role in the deterioration of their marriage, but she begged for a one last chance to better things. Every one is entitled for a chance. We commit the worst of sins and Allah the almighty told us there is always a way back, a way to repent and for this repentance to be welcomed and accepted by Him. Why can’t human beings learn to forgive, specially when there is so much at stake?!

I in turn spoke to him and tried, I also ended up begging him to give her one final chance. I said everything that should make the metal melt, but alas, he did not want to even try, not even for his little loved ones. NO! Not for any human being were his words! And all this why? Because he has the “Alternative”, another woman who has accepted to be with him, both blinded by what they unfortunately think is the real happiness and love they did not have. Another wrong beginning with an adulterous man who does not even feel ashamed of what he has done. He should be in shame when he addresses his wife for God’s sake, but no, he has the guts to even lay hands on her and even call her names and curses and swears!

God’s wrath shall befall him and his mistress anyway, if not in this life in the next, that is needless to say. Maybe now they are happy but they in turn will end where he ended with his current wife. That was the same beginning he began in with his first wife and look where it lead them. Not that it ended, there are still so many offences and problems. The children are now suffering and that is what kills me most. Maybe if he had repented, both he and his wife, they would not have ended where they are now. But this is the result of abandoning God’s commandments, whether it is in Islam or Christianity in this case.

It is so strange how some men choose not to learn from previous mistakes…In this case the offence is to all Moslems. Islam is a decent religion, only some of its followers are giving it a bad name. But does this mean Islam is to be blamed? Does this mean that all Moslems are bad? Any one with a right mind would say no. Generalizations cannot and should not take place in situations like this, but the case and the matter is Islam is blamed anyway. Just like terrorism, if one person who is an arab and Moslem does something, all Moslems and the whole religion of Islam is blamed.

What about the Mafia? What religion do they follow? Don’t most of them wear crosses and maybe some are Jews? Does this mean that All Christians and Jews are bad? Well if you ask me, no not all Christians and Jews are bad.

I really do not understand, why does this only happen with Islam and its followers? Why when a Moslem woman or girl wear a veil it is a problem, yet nuns who dress very similar to a Moslem veiled woman is not blamed or condemned by Western societies.

It is a subject that leaves me puzzled.

A new member in the Paschalis family

2007-01-23T12:38:00.000+02:00

Ok… I am still alive… God blessed me with a lovely Boy: Hamza!

I still cannot believe I am a mother of two. To me, this is a great blessing. Hamza is lovely masha’Allah and Omar loves him thank God. Jealousy is beginning to show in ways, but not in an extreme fashion. He is becoming somewhat more stubborn and says no a lot too. I am trying to handle him well, although sometimes I do lose my temper after repeating myself over and over again about something. But I do try to balance things. The bright side is so far he does not hate his brother or hurt him, he loves him a great deal which is great!

Although, sometimes I have to manage both Omar and his father with the temper problem (they quarrel and get stubborn with one another!!). Ulysse sometimes deals with Omar as if he is older than what he is. I in turn have to tell Ulysse (aside, not in front of our son) that what he is doing is in excess or is not the way to deal with Omar at this age… But all in all I guess we are alright. I do wish I can give more attention to Omar though. I think I will be able to manage insha’Allah. Or so I keep telling myself. I am trying and I am enjoying being a mother for two boys.

This is all for now. I miss the blogosphere and I miss all of you!

Eid Mubarak

2006-10-21T23:27:00.000+02:00

AL hamd Lillah, God has helped me fast all of Ramadan... I honestly don't feel so good since I did not do anything but fast. This pregnancy was good in comparison to many, but for me it was difficult. I still say Al hamd Lillah because there were no serious complications. But for my petit body it was not easy still. The weight, the back pain, the effort with Omar, even though Al hamd Lillah I have been blessed with a sweet girl for assistance at the right time (all due thanks to Allah for his mercy)…

I started the ninth month on the 2oth of Oct. I was scheduled for a c-section on the 10th or 11th of November, but last check up I was told to expect it to be earlier.. Maybe 5th or God knows when.

Mr. Little one is pushing and struggling for a way out!!! Really pushing hard…

I can’t wait to see the little one, but scared to death… Responsibility of the baby, Omar and the house hold is scaring me. My Anemia is scaring me, the weakness and dizziness I face after delivery too. I do pray these things go well, and I do pray for no serious complications with Allah’s mercy.

It is a weird feeling… I am scared, but have lots of faith at the same time, but I guess that is normal.

In all cases I do pray that Allah protects my kid and the one to come, and myself to be there for them. I do pray Ulysse is patient and helpful after delivery… I do pray to recover fast and to be able to handle every thing well isa.

Eid Mubarak to all out there…. I pray God accepts our fasting and what ever deeds we were able to perform and to forgive my incompetence in performing deeds throughout this month.

EID MUBARAK!!

Sixth of Ramadan.... 32 years old today!

2006-09-29T00:51:00.000+02:00

I am quite happy tonigh… I was born on the 12th of Ramadan during the year 1974, can’t recall which hijri… This year my birthday comes again on a Ramadan day as well.

Today, the sixth of Ramadan, I am a 32 year old mother for a lovely boy, and waiting for the second to come safely. I am praying Allah would extend my life to care for them till they are safe and secure to be on their own as good and proper loving, giving and decent Moslems.

Please pray for my father, he is not in the best of conditions these days (Me worried, but Allah is merciful insha'Alah). His moral is really down, somethings are upsetting him and I am really trying to help comforting him the best way i know possible, but his moral is still not at its best, nor is his health or strength.

Please pray for a safe delivery for me (supposed to be on the 10th or 11th of November isa)
Please pray that Allah gives me the strength to carry on with my fasting till the end of this holy month
Pray for my son to be a good Moslem
Pray for my coming son to be safe and sound and to also be a good Moslem.
Please pray I be forgiven for any sins i know of and don't know of

Please pray Allah accepts what little deeds I am able to do at this time of my life (trust me they are few)

Pray for the Ummah to unite in peace and harmony, and for mankind to establish peace amongst them.

Last but not least, I pray for you all a Ramadan kareem and for your fasting and deeds to be accepted by Allah, for you all to feel peace, happiness and to be blessed by Allah … Ameen Ameen Ameen.

2006-09-19T00:25:00.000+03:00

Ramadan Kareem...

1) I pray we all truly work on understanding the purpose of Fasting in Ramadan.
2) I pray we apply that understanding
3) I pray we practice what we have understood and hopefully applied throughout the year till the next Ramadan to come.
4) When and if insha'Allah we do live to experience the next upcoming Ramadan, I pray we are all going forward, i.e. progressing in our attitudes as true Moslems. As good examples to those who do not follow our beloved Islam to help the, know and understand what beauty we posses, as good brothers and sisters to one another, and as obedient Moslems to Allah sub7anaho wa ta3ala.
5) I pray for peace, unity, respect, and understanding amongst Humanity anywhere..... Every where

Those are "some" of my general prayers and wishes for the Ummah. On the personal basis, I pray for the days to pass quickly as i am really growing anxious to meet my baby. I pray for Allah to give me life for raising my children up. No one will be able to raise them the way I want to. I have Omar, and I pray sincerly for another Omar Ibn Al Khattab in my son. I pray for a brave one as the Hunter of Lions (Hamza, the Prophet's - Allahomma Saly wa salem 3aleih - uncle).

Omar wants to name his brother Hamza... If insha'Allah we do settle for that name (which i think we may very well, since I do not want to disappoint Omar), I very much want another Hamza as well!

I want a bit of goodness from here and there, I want the true love of Allah and his prophet to be strongly and deeply embedded within my children’s hearts, minds and souls..

I want Allah to help my and my husband to be good companions, to be good parents and to be so, we need to be better Moslems...

Ameen.

Cannot get used to it!

2006-09-01T00:04:00.000+03:00

It is no surprise what people have become… how they have become. Seldom when you find decency today amongst people in societies… yet for me it is still so difficult to get used to. Even if it is something wrong that I see every day, I still cannot understand why it happens and cannot help but get bothered by it. I wish I can change it but some things are not so easy to change are they. The least I do is pray for change.

My question is why? Why is it always so frustrating for me when someone lies or betrays or name it. Why do I get heart aches? Why can’t I just get along with my day and feel alright… Well I do really feel thankful to Allah for not being like those people who willingly lie or do wrong consistently and with no shame. But it is so painful and difficult to have to deal with some people on a daily basis knowing that they are so filled with trash in their minds and hearts.

This applies to many people, but not all I have to deal with…

There are certain people in our society whom have such traits in excess and with no limits. Housekeepers for instance… My GOD! I cannot believe the frequency of their lies… No matter how well you treat them and try to set a good example to them, they still do it lie and do weird things. Worst of all, they are never grateful for any thing you do for them. Even the semi educated ones do it too (maybe occasionally, but they do). What really gets to me is some of them pray!!! Why do they bother? Or is it just a daily exercise or an obligation they are burdening themselves with just to supposedly give a good impression about themselves???

I tell myself, it is probably the way they have been brought up… It has been corrupted for generations. Problem is no one is taking the trouble to try to adopt those people and try to teach them morals and ethics of the lovely religion they are following. I believe that one of the most important factors contributing to the corruption amongst that stratum of the community is the negligence of the influential, educated and rich or well off people in the society. We must not forget those people, we must not ignore their presence in our society, we must treat them with respect and try to teach them what they do not know with patience and care.

Ok… they are what they are… but this so happens also amongst high class people, amongst educated people who supposedly know the value of principles and ethics.. They cheat, they lie, and they do not consider anything but the monetary unit that shall go into their bank accounts or the power they shall gain.

A friend of mine has a quote next to her msn nickname saying: Most people are only alive because it’s unfortunately illegal to shoot them!! Some people are just inhumane! They are so wicked it shocks me.

I personally wonder how some people live the way they do… Human nature is absurd… strange and mysterious… What makes people the way they are. There are so many factors that combine form a person’s characteristics. It is very complicated. Some people are more affected with badness rather than goodness.

What is it that makes it that way or the other? I guess I will die not knowing why, because it is truly a mystery… or is it choice???

Well? Is it mystery or choice that makes people either bad or good? Kind or wicked? DO we choose to be good or bad? I feel it is up to us to choose, but are we all on the same level of sanity to choose? To direct and redirect ourselves??? Are we all on the same level of strength of character? Is there such a thing as weakness that may lead someone totally astray or that will lead them to severe depression? Or is it that a person chooses to be weak?

I’d like it if some of you would share your opinion, maybe jot in an incident from your own life as an example? I want us to all try to share our experiences, maybe they will help others.

For the Love of Islam

2006-08-25T15:55:00.000+03:00

I would like to mention that I have been invited to join in with a group of Moslem sisters to form a blog about and for Islam. The name of the blog is "True Essence of Islam" www.essenceofislam.blogspot.com.

I guess most of us Moslems are tired of the misconceptions and false accusations about our religion. However I personally do not get too surprised or bothered because I as well as many Moslems who have dwelled the least bit into religion, knew this was coming. However as I mentioned in a post earlier knowing is something and witnessing it happening with the extremes we see and hear is something totally different.

We have been informed by Allah via his words in the Holy Quraan and via Prophet Muhammed (Allahomma Saly 3aleih) that certain events will take place, and they have and still more is to come. That is one thing that does make me always feel very confident following Islam. How can anyone know the future or the order of happenings the way they are except if it were the creator of the universe: Allah al wa7ed ul A7ad (Allah the one and only).

We Moslems do not need fortune tellers or speculators to tell us of expected events because many are outlined quite clearly. Yes, there are no details but clear outlines are given to guide us or else I guess going through this life would be meaningless.

We were told this and that will happen if we do not abide with the basics of Islam and this and that will happen if we do… But unfortunately many of the predicaments the Arabs and Moslems are going through are due to our own disobedience and deviance from the Holy Quraan and the Prophet’s teachings.
Maybe if the majority had stuck to them as we were told none of the troubles we are going through today would have taken place and we would have all been living a more peaceful and respectful life… Wallahu A3lam (God knows best).

Finally I wish and pray that the blog True Essence of Islam can add something or be a reason to clear the mist to those of you who are open minded enough to want to know the truth about Islam… About our beloved kind Islam.

Fear none my young one

2006-08-09T02:13:00.000+03:00

There there my child,
Fear not the sounds of the missiles
Fear not the sounds of the tanks
Fear not the sounds of terror
Fear not death
For if we die we shall flee fear
We shall flee bigotry and insanity
We shall be between the kind hands of Allah
We shall be in a lovely place away from here
Only when we die, we shall die honorably
We shall be examples for those we leave behind
We shall be the marks of history
Marks showing how cowardly the powerful can be
We shall die with no blood on our hands
We shall die clean and pure
They think they have power? No, they have none
They are a disgrace!
Be strong my young one, be brave
Hold on to me tight
Do not give in to fright
Allah is holding you with me
We have no guns to defend ourselves we have more though
We have our faith in Allah
He shall send us beautiful angels to carry us away
Away from bigotry and insanity
Fear none my young one, fear none.

Gifts from israeli children to the Lebanese...

2006-07-30T12:29:00.000+03:00

For those who say that war on Lebanon is justified, for Bush who said: Hizb Allah kidnapped two israeli soldiers and that justifies war, for the arab leaders who are never men of honor, but men of disgrace... Please visit the site end of the page and tell me if anything humanly possible justifies this war...

And what is their excuse??? Two israeli soldiers.... Two israeli soldiers verses a whole country's blood worth... Innocent children, women and men.. Unarmed... It is justified to use banned weapons.. It is justified to slaughter people aimlessly... They are not even targetting Hizb Allah, they are unable to despite all their armaments and radars?

Well for those who haven't seen or know, for those who say that the American Government is innocent of this war, please visit this site, but beware, the images are gruisome and bloody. But I encourage you all especially the none arabs visiting this blog to take a glimpse at what the American weapons are being used for, at who the israelis are for real... What can I say, the picture herein speaks a thousand words.. This the gift from children of israel to children and people of Lebanon... How can anyoe encourage their children to sign on a weapon used to destroy and kill? What kind of hearts are these? Pure evil... I look at these two girls and I see nothing but evil. BUT they are not naturally evil.. no they sure are not, it is the upbringing of their parents and their grandparents before them...

Children are suposed to always be a symbol of innocence and peace.. not this at all. At least not in this case ... Not justified, not right...
http://www.fromisraeltolebanon.info/

Strange? Yes. But Happening Anyway

2006-07-30T11:31:00.000+03:00

I would like find a word to describe the Arab leaders but it will not be confined to one word or one description, but many and all ugly. I guess that sums it up. Their opinions are not those of the people of their countries, not the feelings, not what the majority of the people want. I personally cannot blame anyone more than our own leaders for what is happening in the middle east, I cannot blame except for those amongst us who sold their origins and Religion and adopted what is not theirs.. They are the ones to blame first hand. They permitted others to step over us.

What we all want now is to go stand up for tyranny. Israel and those backing it up will not stand a chance in front of the anger and hatred that is spilling out of each individual in this nation. The anger and hatred are seeds they planted and continuously plant and nourish so well!
So much hate and anger have been building up amongst the Arabs against the israelis and the American Government Foreign Policies. These feelings have not come out of the blue. By logic, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. How could we not hate them? Nothing personal against any citizen who is against bloodshed of innocent civilians, but it is the governments’ policies and those who accept them whom I really wonder about, those who are for war and bloodshed…

The American Government has always been Israel’s back up, it is no secret. Hatred and anger do not arise out of the blue. It is common sense. It is about time the American people and others understand that. It is about time to use some common sense. When someone defends themselves with the most minimal resources possible they are described as being terrorists! I just do not understand how. How many children from the Israeli side have been slaughtered versus the ones from the Arab side?

Today, July 30th about 30 children have been dragged out from under the ruble of one mere building! And the excuse was Hizb Allah were launching missiles from that area! If so, where are the men from Hizb Allah that were targeted and supposedly died? Where are the missiles or the remnants of ammunition or artilary they were using? Not a single man from Hizb Allah was in the area, no one but children, women and elderly people were found dead in that single building. Thank God they were all sleeping. Now they are all between the kind hands of God, away from tyranny and injustice. May they all rest in peace.

Our unworthy and disappointing leaders are dragging us to God knows where. They managed to divide us well. They managed to dismantle what was once long ago unshakable unity; they sold our dignity for their personal gain. I know that if the Arabs unite no one and I mean no one shall be able to stand in our way. We want nothing but to be left alone. We are all sick and tired of unwanted intervention in our matters. Our leaders are faithless. If they had strong faith they would never fear anyone and would know that victory shall with no discussion be ours, but what can I say.
For years they have led to degradation of the Arabs and Moslems and are continuing to do so. Those amongst the Moslems who are aware of the gradual signs leading to the day of Judgment would know that this was unfortunately coming.

Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly wa salem 3aleih) informed us that there shall come a time when those who lead the Moslems shall not be worthy of their positions. Those who have abandoned the true ethics of Islam and have adopted new attitudes that do not belong to them, those who have abandoned their origins of faith and roots shall lead all of us to what is happening now and will happen later.

However, knowing something is an issue and witnessing it is totally a different issue. It is very painful, sad and disappointing. It is sad to know we have so much power but just because some people’s (namely our leaders and many key persons of our societies) faith has weakened, this is what we, the people of the Arab countries have come to…

Kam min fi2atin kaleela ghalabat fi2atin katheera beithn Ellah… roughly meaning that a small number may triumph over a large number with God’s permission… and also “in tansoro Allah yansorkom” also roughly meaning that when we obey Allah and follow his commandments He will always support us and guide us to victory. Now if we all look at our nation and what it has come to, faith wise, we will realize that many sectors of our community fear people rather than fearing God… We need to reconsider too many issues and we need to have more unity and faith… But it seems that after all there is one man in our nation that is sticking to those beliefs and acting accordingly. Hassan Nasr Allah is this man.

Nasr Allah is a man of Faith and so are his followers and supporters, he is respectable and he does not take orders from anyone. He fears no one but Allah, the creator, rather than super powers amongst creation. What he has done was not wrong; israel’s reactions are as usual over reactions, in other words exaggerations and are as usual backed up by the United States government. However it is quite obvious that those two Israeli soldiers are NOT the reason why all this is happening. Rather, it is happening because it was going happen anyway.

How many Arabs are in the Israeli prisons, and since when? How were they taken? How many killed, from women, children, elderly, young and old men??? Israel does not even abide to any of the international sanctions or laws… How come and why? Same goes for the US … they too are not tied down with any sanctions and no one dares do anything about it. This is what I really do not understand. Why do countries of the world accept this discrimination in rules? Why are these two countries the only two that have more rights and privileges over others? Why can they do what ever and when ever and no one dares stand up from them? Why?

Israelis want to take over the Middle East, it is no secret, and with the United States’ approval and back up. We all know israelis openly believe and teach their young ones at school the following phrase, or in other words dream that they so much want to make come true: dawlet israel men el Nil lel Forat, meaning that the state of Israel is from the Nile till the Euphrates.

Those who say America is innocent of this war are either not properly informed or are not following up the day to day events and roles America is playing in this and many other issues concerning the Middle East. July 22nd, 2006 Condoliza Rice issued a statement that proves what all of us Arabs are accusing the israelis of and of what the US is backing up. She said, today we are seeing a new outline of a “New Middle East”. That is the plan they are executing. It is a statement frequently used now. Again not a secret or surprise for us. It has been obvious for many years. But as I mentioned before knowing is something and seeing it happen is something different. It makes me feel sick to see that our leaders are so pathetic. They dishonor us all.

Last but not least, I would like to add, God be with the Lebanese, and before them, the Iraqis and long before those the Palestinians, and many others world wide… GOD BE WITH US here in the Middle East.

As long as our leaders are standing silent watching this happen, our turn is sure to come.
As long as our leaders are always in conflict, our turn is sure to come.
As long as our leaders seem to be failing to realize some day they shall die like any mortal being and shall be judged by Allah, our turn is sure to come…

But I know for fact… This shall not last; Tyranny and bigotry shall end at some point. This I shall not discuss. Many of the things we have been informed of through the Quraan and Sunnah have taken place and are taking place now. That alone proves that what we have been informed is true and that those of us whose faith is strong are well informed of the stages this life shall go through.. Yes no details, but outlines and headings are clear and have for fact taken place and still are…

Al hamd Lillah that we have someone like Hassan Nasr Allah in our Ummah. I pray there would be more of him, only then will we be able to segregate ourselves from manipulation and unwanted intervention. Maybe then our dignity and respect shall come back to us… maybe then we shall really become united.

Baby is a......

2006-07-15T03:45:00.000+03:00

Forgot to tell you all, that is if u are interested to know, I was informed I am carrying a baby boy!!! I am quite happy, I was hoping for one... Not that I do not like girls, I do, but i have many reasons for wanting a boy, maybe some other time though..

I would appreciate it if you suggested names, but please bear in mind; I like names resembling pple in Islamic History. Men who left positive marks. I named my son Omar taking Omar Ibn Al khattab as an example and praying and hoping my son would have his traits and other postive traits from The master of manners and ethics of course, Prophet Muhammed (Allahomma Salywa salem 3aleih).

Initially I had both Hamza and Bilal in mind. My son keeps repeating Hamza all the time when I bring the subject of names up. He actually interupts me and tells me Hamza ya Mamma, Hamza is the baby's name.. He likes the name which sometimes makes me feel i have to respect his will and name the new born Hamza as my Omar wants. I feel he really likes the name.

I love that name anyway. Omar is affecting me even though I was still between Hamza and Bilaal, and also open to suggestions. However, I do believe that i still cannot and will not make a decision till I see the baby insha’Allah. But having some options in mind still help (I think)

Tell me what u think

Out of proportion as usual

2006-07-15T03:35:00.000+03:00

Well, well well!!! What a “not” surprise. Mr. Bush is using the veto in order not to condemn israeli attacks on Lebanon… This man does not cease to marvel me! nor do the israelis, and last but not least, sadly, nor do the Arab leaders cowardly behavior either!!!

Anything out of proportion will never shock me. It is just typical israeli attitude... We got used to their injustice and over reactions. We got used to their and their allies nonsense and injustice..

But God is just and fair... That is what counts at the end.

What is there to say to the insensible of this world?

Time flies

2006-06-21T00:18:00.000+03:00

The past couple of months have been very hectic… Time flies by so fast. I have no time whatsoever to enjoy my blog visits.. I just want to apologize to all of u for not being around.

I hope I can catch up soon!

I had an ultrasound and so far things are fine… Al hamd Lillah. I was waiting impatiently for this check up… Every one is so keen to know what the baby’s sex is and me and his/her father are mainly concerned about the development. Oh well, baby did not feel like telling anyone what his/her gender is… was not clear my aunt says but she suspects it is a boy…

I still want the stress to lessen a bit… this morning was a terrible one for me. I was crying so hard I could not stop… My sweet son came running from the living room to my bedroom and kept telling me that he loves me and that I am his sweet heart, he asked why I was sad and crying… AL hamd lillah, he has a lovely heart, I wish he grows and stays like that
.
I want time to fly for me to see this baby………………….. I am falling asleep… I get tired very quickly now… have I made any sense? Nee

Female brain.... male brain... (nice joke, but maybe not for guys!)

2006-06-13T00:22:00.000+03:00

Brain Transplant
___________

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. Insurance will over the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brainyourselves.

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain.

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

Another dimension

2006-06-12T01:03:00.000+03:00

I guess the physical effort is getting to me. I do believe the psychological pressure is also playing an important role, and definitely my anemia is doing a good job too! I am naturally anemic, but after I had my complete blood count test at the lab, I discovered it increased!

The other day, I totally collapsed… could not breathe, felt my brain and lungs were shrinking, could not lift my arms properly… my eyelids were getting heavy and each time they closed I felt I was stepping into a different dimension. It was hard and scary. Honey, olives, salty cheese, nothing did anything... for some time that is. After about fourty five minutes, I was able to sort of be in control of the dimension thingy!

Al hamd lillah. Was I dying? Was I going to die? Or is it just the extreme motherhood I feel towards Omar that makes me fear death now more than any time.

I do not want to live in this life for any pleasures.. Only watching for my son and taking care if him till he can depend on himself is all I ask God for …gladly too. I want this baby to be safe too. I do pray GOD helps me to physically and psychologically come through all of these efforts I have to make.

I am scared … very much, yes I am.

Getting too emotional bothers me ( a lot )

2006-05-30T21:55:00.000+03:00

Sometimes I get too emotional it bothers me. No one in this life gets exactly what they need. This is life, and that is its test. We all get granted things and others not. Sub7ana Allah. There are some things we crave for so much in our life, but we still do not get them, even as simple as some emotions.

I have many things Al hamd lillah. But there is something I was really craving for so much I did not end up having (so far). Maybe I will some day.

I just feel so bad that I even feel this way. I get scared God will be upset from me, I even feel ashamed.
I am not looking for anyone’s pity here, I am just taking it out, because I am angry at myself.

I am trying so hard not to let my missing piece bother me, but sometimes this makes me react funny with people. I maybe misunderstood at times. And I get myself in trouble others. It bothers me so much.

I always try to redirect myself back again and tell myself this is my big test… Be careful Dalulla… you may get God to be upset with you… It is very very difficult, but

I am really trying.

Please pray for me, I do not want God to be angry with me after all the blessings I have. Pray for me to accept with strength my test and to do well.

Pray for me to be strong.

THE WALL OF HATE 7minutes and 50 seconds

2006-05-27T05:50:00.000+03:00

I was pissed off watching the Israeli prime minister’s speech amongst the American congressmen and women the other day (I think my blood pressure did rise as I watched and listened) !!!

UFFFF… Are those people for real? I really do not get it. Are they dumb or playing dumb.. or are they really that sick? They say lies and believe them? They have principles??? WOW?? They want peace???

Why is it always they that are the ones who want peace and the Palestinians are rejecting? As he spoke his tanks and soldiers were firing bullets at Palestinian unarmed citizens and they are the ones wanting peace? How come? Really how come?

They (American and Israeli officials) shall never cease to marvel me!

Please take some time to watch this.. It is not a new peace of information, but maybe it has details you would like to be aware of.

http://www.thewallofhate.org/film/thewall.wmv

Stress

2006-05-25T02:20:00.000+03:00

This pregnancy is worrying me from day one… I do have faith in God, but now I am beginning to feel that I need to strengthen it… I have been under so much stress ever since I got pregnant. The stress is more above the normal levels of stress I usually go through, or in other words, more concentrated and in higher doses!

I do not mind stress, I always know it comes and goes, it is part of life. the problem is, every time I get stressed I fear for the baby in excess. The reason being that I cannot control the level of stress any more and that is what really bothers me.

I can only pray nothing affects this new life I am carrying within me (AMEEN AMEEN AMEEN), and the other thing is I am trying my best to stay away from it all, but it has not been working at all for the past couple of months.

Now is the time I really wish I could have been able to travel and have nothing to do with anyone!

A Beautiful way to look at things

2006-05-24T17:47:00.000+03:00

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like they have been sent by God, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, and that their work is done. The prayer you sent to God has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons. Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
_________________________________________________________

This was a message I received by mail. I felt it was very meaningful and wanted to share it with you all.

Democracy?! ??! ???! ??????!!!!

2006-05-22T22:48:00.000+03:00

After The fall of Baghdad, in an attempt to prove his democracy and love of world peace, Bush invited all the presidents of the world to have a football tournament by the banks of Degla River…

During the football match, the ball fell in the river. Bush called onto a soldier of the Marines to plunge into the river and get the ball.

The soldier refused saying:
I cannot jump into the water, there may be life threatening crocodiles and I have a wife and kids whom I’d like to stay alive for.

Blair called one of his Desert Wolves soldiers and requested the same as Bush did. ‘

The soldier refused saying:
I cannot jump into the water, there may be life threatening crocodiles and I have a wife and kids whom I’d like to stay alive for.

Mubarak called one of his special forces' soldiers and "requested" the same as the other two presidents did.

In no time and without hesitation, the soldier gallantly plunged into the water, fought whatever crocodiles he encountered, got the ball out of the river and walked out (of course with injuries).

Surprised by his immediate action, all the journalists present gathered around him and asked him about the secret behind this unquestionable bravery and immediate action, the soldier replied saying:

I TOO HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS WHOM I’D LIKE TO STAY ALIVE FOR!!!

You know you're in 2006 when...

2006-05-22T22:38:00.000+03:00

I thought this was quite interesting and lots of it is true... please read on

You know you're living in 2006 when...

1 You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2 You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3 You have a list of 16 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.

4 You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5 Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6 When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.

7 When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial " 0 " to get an outside line.

8 You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

10 You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news .

11 Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

12 Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards. AND..............

13 You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.

14 As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends."

15 You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the net.

16 You are too busy to notice there was no #9

17 You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9

18 AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Monitor down....

2006-05-12T11:53:00.000+03:00

Our computer Monitor has been in maintenence for some time.. I miss blogging.. I really need to catch up. But for now, I just wanted to tell you all sorry I have not been around visiting your own blogs and following up on you.. I miss you all lots.

Oher than the monitor issue, I've been alone with no housekeeper for some time now and I had to take care of everything on my own. With the pregnency and all, it truely has been very exhausting, but Al hamd Lillah, all passes..

I always tell myself, If God put me to it, He will get me throught it! It is true... Never let anything make you fall.. kneel for a bit when you feel the burden is too heavy, you have the right! But get up and continue no matter what.. We can adjust to things, even the things we are not used to and do not like. There is one thing we all must know: some things we have to do, and we must gather all our energy to do them.. It is all a psychological state of mind...

If you tell yourself I WILL do it, you will find yourself doing what ever it is you thought you cannot do... We just need to try.. Al hamd lillah for everything...

kid's issues!!!

2006-05-01T23:58:00.000+03:00

Children sometimes come up with the funniest and cutest comments just when you are about to burst with anger they say something that just makes you stop and smile if not even laugh… I do not know if this will sound disgusting for you people out there, but I wanted to blog it anyway, please forgive me if it does disgust you in any way.

Here goes, an incident with Doudi my friend’s son.. He is three years and eight months. Doudi still sometimes forgets and pees in his pants and occasionally does more… This time it was the “more” that he did…

Heba the nanny: Doudi, you are a big boy now, you should not poop in your pants, right?

Doudi: Yes I am a big boy, but my poppo (butt) is still nouno (small) and Seif (his elder brother) hit my nouno poppo (butt) and so "it" (the small butt) pooped in my pants…

The kid is trying to get through that he has grown up but his butt hasn’t yet and there fore no one should hold him accountable for his butt’s actions! (His mom and I were laughing hysterically as she told me the story)

Now, my son’s turn, second day after Doudi’s incident. Omar is four months younger than Doudi..

My mom: Omar come on let’s go to the bathroom so you can pee… (Omar as usual resistant, and never asks to go so we have to initiate the steps towards the bathroom every now and then. He only asks occasionally and when he wants to poop).

Omar goes to the bathroom, pees and gets dressed… But guess what, he pees more in his pants a few minutes after mom had already taken him to pee!!

My mom: Omar why did you do that? Didn’t I just take you to pee?
Omar: yes nanna, asl howa kan keteer awy (yes granny, but there was still more).

Hmmm, it is a hassle. The kids keep doing this over and over again and ofcourse not to mention other things and new issues keep coming up..

I wish I can close my eyes and open them and the poopo and peeing messes are over and out! I wish they can just go to the bathroom alone. Insha’Allah I will have a new one to deal with, I hope I will not have both to deal with for a long time where this particular issue is concerned.

It is all part of the process of their growth, but again that is one part I do wish would pass quickly!

Changes

2006-04-19T18:17:00.001+02:00

The days do pass so quickly, one day you’re a child playing here and there not having worries or cares except about your toys and all of a sudden you are a mother worrying and working to make everything as perfect as possible for your children and your partner and thereby your own self.

Being a mother is a wonderful thing. Even if you know that many of your efforts are not recognized as they should be, but the one thing you know for sure is Allah knows and hears and therefore it is all worthwhile.

May Allah grant us patience and strength to always be better mothers and wives to produce useful and decent men and women for this world.

On January 1st, 2003, I was blessed with my first son, Omar. It was a lovely, sunny and warm day. My hospital room was bright with light from the sun and I could see the blue sky, just the way I like it. When I woke up from the anesthesia I found myself in an even lovelier, brighter and more colorful room with a lovely view as well and I was blessed with a lovely baby boy who smiled at me the second the nurse put him by my side. I cannot forget that moment when she placed him next to me and he smiled at me. I was very dizzy, my eyes blurry and in so much pain from the stitches but I made and effort to lift my head to have a good look at him. That smile was my pain killer. It was really “The loveliest smile” God had me witness and it sure made me feel that whatever pain I am going through it was truly worth it.

Now Omar is three years, 3 months and nineteen days old. I am almost nine weeks pregnant now and my due date insha’Allah should be beginning of November since I will be delivering by c-section.

That is the newest I have about me and I really wanted to share my happiness as I did my sorrows recently with you my friends.

I prayed and asked Allah so many times for the right timing and sub7an Allah, this for me is the ideal time to get pregnant and for the difference between Omar and this baby to be alright. If God wills and every thing goes well the difference between them will be three years and eleven month since my expected due date is early November.

Ever since I found out I am pregnant the days have become so long and time passes by so slowly. I cannot wait to feel the baby move about inside me.

I had an ultra sound and saw the baby’s heart beats, it was still not a clear image of a formed body but the heart and its beats were visible and that was lovely. Baby was still too tiny. I do pray all goes well till the end insha’Allah.

I know all of u have lovely hearts… Please do wish the baby well and me with it. Do pray God grants the baby a normal and healthy growth. I do not have any preferences for the baby’s sex. Please pray with me for a healthy baby and a safe delivery… And pray for me to be able to balance things and not make Omar feel at all left out or that some other baby came and took his place. I constantly pray for Allah to grant me the wisdom of action and saying with Omar. I love him so much and lately have become extra attached to him.

I am telling myself Insha’Allah things will go well. With Allah’s kindness and mercy, your prayers and mine, Insha’Allah all will go well.

COLON ATTACK!

2006-03-23T01:31:00.000+02:00

Seems the pressure has been building up lately from so many directions. Yesterday in the car on my way to granny's I screamed from pain. I could not move in any direction or even adjust the way I was sitting. I felt sorry for Omar, he was shocked, my husband was shocked and so was I!

My side was aching so badly. Extreme sharp and piercing pain on the lower left hand side of my abdomen.. I have had a history of a nervous colon, but at that point I did not know whether it was my kidney or colon.

Today I went for a check up.. Colon is inflated big time! I knew that the sudden pain attacks were from it but was not sure. When my aunt saw the way i was when i arrived at granny's, she said she wanted to have a look at it. She is a doctor. A very clever ultrasound specialist.

She freaked out when she saw the size to which it had been inflated... Oh well..

Please pray for my colon to de-inflate because it hurts.

Pressure? Well, I don't know about that one. We all have our share. I do try to avoid it, but it barges in unwanted (and lately in excess!). I do not like the idea of feeling down or giving in to it or any derivatives of anything that may cause sadness. I try to rise above the situations, but it is not easy. Even when you think you did, your poor body still suffers some way or the other.

I do hope this passes peacefully.

A requested mission to my blogger friends: Please remember me in your prayers, I know this may sound silly, but I do need your prayers for my colon to get back to normal.
:-)

Ya rab anta alshafy al mo3afy Eshfeeny washfy kol mareed… Oh Allah you are the healer please heal me and heal all.

Emotions

2006-03-15T02:24:00.000+02:00

One day ends, a new one begins.

Many lives end and many others begin, but all on the same day.

It is the same sun however, rising and setting this earth.

It is the logic God created and the proof is all mankind know it and naturally accept it

otherwise there would have been no new borns at all!

Life is but a short journey, may it be a fruitful one

for me, you and all mankind.

Amen Amen Amen

It is so fascinating how a person can go through so many different emotions of extreme on one single day... Stress, happiness, sadness, loneliness, and many more.

This past period of time has been like this, during the same one day so many issues all at the same time and with extreme emotions. This is the mercy Allah has bestowed on us. The balance we experience and that keeps us going.

There are two things that I really wanted to point out to with regards to today. Today was a day that had two extremes. Condolences to a very dear friend and visiting a new born baby.

The worst thing was most of the day Omar wasn't with me since it would not have been appropriate to take a three year old while giving condolence to the deceased's family. That was one thing that was making me feel lonely and worried. I don't like it when my son is not around me, especially when he is not feeling so well. He had diarrhea and I was worried about him, but his presence with my mother and his nanny to help mom with him. Mom is the only person I can leave Omar with, she knows how to handle him to a comforting extent (however I can never feel complete comfort except when he is with me…) take care of him.

S, who is an old and dear friend, lost his father the day before yesterday. Only the way he found out was painful. He works abroad, and his wife has been in Cairo visiting for the past two months or so. His father had been admitted to the hospital a couple of months ago suffering liver problems I think. So S was aware his father was seriously ill. He was here in Cairo when his dad had been admitted the first time, but then S sadly had to leave because of his work. Anyway, a couple of days his wife who is also a dear friend calls me and she tells me that her father in law passed away. Only S's mother did not tell him that. She told him to fly to Cairo since his father was very ill this time. S gets on a plane yesterday and is coming to see his father only to find out on the plane His beloved father had already passed away!

S is a very emotional person, extremely gregarious, always manages to make people smile, gets people from here and there gathered every now and then, and is very good at staying in touch with all those he loves and cherishes. The following heartbreaking sms (short message via mobile) was received by me and my husband as well as all his friends before he even arrived.

"I write this message on a plane alone going home to see my sick father. I look in the newspapers shocked to see his name. To the newspaper, he is but a name; to me the world. This world had gone with him passing away. May he rest in peace....... Condolence: 14 March (details and place) . S.A."

Every one's heart ached for him. We all do for our loved ones losses and grieve. This message made me and everyone else sense what pain and shock poor S went through, all alone on that plane. He knew that his father was sick, the thought of him dying may have crossed his mind, but to find out by chance his father was already gone, and that he will not even be able to kiss him farewell and join in the prayers for him as he is placed in the grave is a difficult situation. God knows, maybe it would have been harder for him to have been present as his dad was taken into the grave...

S was at the mosque today, standing, wanting to cry but holding the tears inside. His younger brother B was standing next to him along with other men in front of the men's hall. Basem seemed very distressed and exhausted.

As Ulysse and I approached the entrance of the mosque leading to where they stood, I fought so hard to hold my tears. S's mother was an ambassador for many years, always traveling for long periods varying according to her assignments. Uncle M was the one taking care of S and B.

B has wide bright colored smiley eyes. Tonight they were puffy and watery. S the same. Their mother was holding up at the beginning when I arrived. But as I left, I left her with tears and agony.

On the way back Ulysse and I were silent. The sms was echoing in my mind. My son was still with mom, but she had taken him over to my grandma's with my aunt and her eldest daughter.

I agreed I would go over to her house to pick up Omar's bag then maybe will pick him up from granny's place. On the way to mom's house, my cousin's new born came to my mind. My cousin is staying with her mom and dad now a days and they are real close to where mom lives. I found myself saying Z (the baby)... I wish I can see her. Ulysse was extremely tired but sweetly proposed we go visit her. I did not get a chance to see her since the day she was born (Friday, March 3rd) and he knew how much I wanted to and he sensed my need to do so at that particular time. I am so thankful he proposed to go there despite his exhaustion.

I passed by mom's, picked up Omar's stuff then headed over to my uncle's to see Z. There is something that many friends and family find awkward about me (i have no clue why). I have excessive motherly instincts towards people around me. To a great extent with my cousins and my sisters. N my cousin who has been blessed with Z is about eight years younger than I. I am the eldest amongst the cousins from my mother's side and the second eldest from my father's.

When N got married I held her so tight and cried tears of joy to see her getting married and beginning her life with her adorable husband S. Now N is a mother!!! The second after me. But I feel as if I were her own mother! I actually had cramps the day she was schedualed for delivery. All through her pregnancy I was waiting anxiously for her baby. I used to kiss her stomach before even greeting her with a kiss herself, always smiled at her and told her, sorry baby comes first now. I used to speak to Z and tell her that I love her and that I can't wait to see her come to this world safely.

Z is a lovely but very tiny girl. Today was the first time I got to carry her close to me. She is really tiny! I could not take my eyes off her face. She was sleeping almost all the time. N offered tea and cake. I could not leave Z, did not want to. But then N's mom came laughing, took her and told me to eat and drink my tea.

I am in love. Totally in love with Z. She comforted my unease just by being in my arms. Just by looking at her innocent face I was over whelmed with joy. I did not forget S or his pain, but there was a balance. Allah is merciful. He designed us with versatile emotions. One can be so sad, then something comes up out of now where and creates and emotional uplift.

Best of all, when I went to granny's to pick Omar up, he greeted me with so much warmth and longing. Al hamd Lillah (all due thanks to Allah).

Today, I contemplated on this life and its immortality, was vividly reminded that some day my own life will end. I thanked God for being able to recognize that quite frequently anyway, but today was a strong reminder. It helps one to work even harder in whatever short time we have for the after life (eternity) and makes us count our blessings and thank God for them. It makes us get over weaknesses and sadness or at least helps us to become more patient knowing that it is highly rewarded by Allah (to be patient that is).

Z reminded me of the beauty of life and its warmth and present innocence and beauty. She reminded me of Omar when he was he was a small infant like her. The love and warmth in that house and the smiles made me happy. The happiness in all their eyes and my husbands cheered me up. Omar made me feel so loved and missed during the hours he spent far away from me. He made me feel I am lucky to have him, to have my husband, to have a mother that is helpful and reliable. I saw granny and kissed her hands as usual and in the short time I stayed there I remembered my childhood in that home and now my son also had his moments to leave a memory in that home (of course not the first time). Omar also kissed granny good bye and kissed her hands lovingly as I do. He kissed my mother good bye and my cousin too. Too bad my aunt was praying, so I did not get a chance to say hello or good bye.

Next Friday is N's daughter's birth celebration, we call it a sebo'o (a word derived from the number seven), it is an Islamic tradition to celebrate the coming of a child after seven days. but this one should be named something else since it is not after seven days, lol.

The whole family and other families will be there. I cannot wait. I love our family gatherings; they are so full of love and unity.
I do pray all humanity can celebrate something of the sort. Amen.

Last but definitely not least. My prayers to uncle M, S and B's father to be granted by Allah forgiveness, peace and for his grave to be part of the heavens above. Amen Amen Amen

May Allah forgive us all for any sins and may he guide us to what will be of real use to us after we part this life and move on to the next. Till the Greatest day, the Day of Judgment when nothing will suffice for us but our deeds in this life time and His never ending mercy and kindness which He himself has promised all mankind. Lucky are they who understand and act accordingly, May I and you be amongst those who do so. Amen Amen Amen.

Why all the pressure?

2006-03-13T19:28:00.000+02:00

Why all the pressure? I sometimes wonder why people's standards of judgment can be so unfair. When you say what you think is right and here i mean not what you think as in a personal opinion, but according to certain well known standards of ethics, morals and religion, people still do not like what you say and accusations begin.

For example, say you are a person who does not like garlic in their food. You hate it to the extent that you can sense it even if it is in traces. Can anyone blame you for not wanting to eat from that food? Would you still cook food containing garlic even if in minute amounts knowing the person you are inviting hates it so much?

Or for instance a friend so dear stabbed you so hard so many times in the back. You kept forgiving but one time the stab was too much to handle. Can anyone blame you for not being able to deal with that person again? Can anyone force you to be in the same place with that person even if the gathering is essential? Can anyone blame you for not wanting to be in the same place with that person especially if you are going through a health crises and feel u do not want that person to see you in that state???

Here's more. What if you were totally resisting the idea of being in that same place, but were convinced by those dear ones who want you to be there that that person is not going, then you finally agree. What is the point of bringing up the persons name again and asking: What "If" that person were there, why can't you come anyway??? !!!

Why? Why bring it up again? Why after the person in pain felt assured and appreciated that their worst fear will not appear in front of them bring the subject up again and press on it??
What if that person in pain is your father and the other your step father? What if you have been brought up with that step father, but know for yourself what kind of pain he caused (regardless if u feel it or not, although it is obvious) and that he has caused so much emotional damage for your father, why keep pressing on a matter you know does not have closure and brings only pain to your father while his health condition cannot support such stress???? Even if You personally think that life goes on and so forth.. It still does not give u that right (from my opinion at least).

A father is a father. My father did not want for this person to take his place, nor did he give up on his kids. I did not want him either and I had very good reasons too, but did not interfere in decisions made, I know my limits but suffered anyway as a result. It is a long and complicated story and i do not wish to get into it, but I feel so much pain for Dad. I am worried sick for him and fear that this pressure may lead to a crises, I pray no.. but what makes me say so, is that it seems that Dad has been trying to seem ok to all of us before the stroke (although I knew he was not, because i too am not till this minute, but able to deal with it as best as I can because I am forced to not because I want to, imagine him) but the poor man has been holding it inside till it blasted in his brain with that stroke!

Dad's family has nothing to do with my step father, in other words, there is no way that he would be present near or far in any event concerned with their family. After an incident of pressure Dad has experienced lately from some one close also concerning the possible presence of my step father the following has happened.

Dad is supposed to get dressed up to go to my cousin's sons' birthday party, and then all of a sudden he says to his wife, I don't want to go. She asks why? It is a lovely day and it will be a nice gathering outdoors in the fresh air. He says what if A is there?!!! Major shock! WHAT???! She tells him, Sam, you are going to a gathering for your sister's son's kids, how can A possibly be there? He sadly says, maybe he will be there, you never know! She assured him that A will not be there and that it will be alright.

When i saw him that day, Dad did not seem alright, he hasn't sounded alright for some time after that session of pressure he went through.

Each one of us has different levels of tolerance to issues. Someone may be hurt from something and simply does not want to even hear of it. Why would anyone get angry at something like that? Especially if you are close kin to that person. Not only that, they believe strongly you have no reason to do so (even though some issues may be very painful and difficult to forget about)! Some times even for the sake of loved ones a person cannot step on their feelings and do what they want them to do. It is sometimes too heavy a burden to carry, especially when one is not in good health. No energy, too much pain are involved.

OK whatever... but I still say no one can feel the amount of pain someone is going through other than themselves. You may be able to feel for them, but to what extent? Definitely nothing compared to the person themselves. That has to be respected and the matter should be avoided.

Why is it so difficult to understand that? Why can't people just respect others' feelings and pain, rather than underestimating that pain and deciding what they can and cannot tolerate? Why do they give themselves that right?

Some kinds of pain may be resolved and with closure, but other kinds of pain no. and believe me, not because one does not want to, sometimes it is just way over your head. Otherwise in the Quraan Allah (Our creator who knows us best) would not have said that forgiveness depends on capability. Allah does encourage those who can forgive the wrong doers to do so, and it is highly rewarded. But if someone hurt you so bad and no two people can say that that wrong doing is variable but truly wrong according to ethics and morals and religion then a person cannot be accused of being black hearted or not forgiving (like murder for instance or betrayal).

This varies from one person to another and also depends on the problem that person may have gone through. A person may get along with their lives, but it is like a ghost haunting a person sometimes.

Am I being unfair? Or am I right?

One Big Mistake!

2006-03-08T00:44:00.000+02:00

I was watching Oprah's program a couple of days ago. I really love this woman and truly have so much respect for the person she is, for what she does for others, for how she manages to do and say things to bring happiness to those around her, most of all, for her honesty and straightforwardness. She is doing something great for the American society and for others as well. She is calling out for the good in people; she is trying to wake it up somehow, and of course not only that, she is a woman of action.

Each society has its bad side and good side. All our countries are filled with miscellaneous issues. Some bad, some good, some embarrassing, some ugly and so forth.. We all need reforms. We all need corrections.

What I really like about Oprah is she's always trying to bring out the ugly bits and pieces in the American society, but I'm sure not with an intension to make her own people look bad.. she does so with the will and intent of bettering the ugly and wrong.

I am an Arab/Moslem and that is the way I feel. I do not look at the negative issues she brings out and feel disrespect towards the American society as a whole. According to what I have learned growing up form my religion It is not right to generalize or judge in a general or negative sense and it is not easy to do so either (long issue). What I see and hear does make me real sad though (applies to my own country and people, not just Americans or others).

I've always liked the American way of living, the system, and many other issues, but bearing in mind it is "not perfect" and nor is any other society.

For many Arabs, and I think amongst many other citizens of many other countries America was always "The best", a "flawless system" of freedom and unquestionable democracy. This is and was not true. I do not mean to be offensive here, but what I mean is what I wrote above. No one and no where is flawless or with no negative aspects. But I must say Bush made a real big mess out of America's reputation! The United States was and is much better off without him.

Now come to the main point. What I wanted to speak about was something Oprah said as she interviewed a couple who decided to bring a stripper for their son on his sixteenth birthday party! My mouth and eyes were flung widely open almost all through the show… And I am not exaggerating!

Through out most of the talk show (since there was another person on the show earlier, a former porn star who was warning young women from falling in her mistake), Oprah said (not word for word, but I believe what I write will serve the same meaning): "What is strange is that nudity is not strange anymore in our society. Women are not valued.. They are treated in a derogatory fashion as if they were a mere object with no value"….

It is not just in the United States but in many other countries, but I "think" that America takes top of the list on that one… the porn business has become a very large industry.

Arabs and Moslems are always accused of not giving women their rights. Our societies are governed with religion which does give a woman respect and rights, at the end of the day, it does protect women (long story but we can discuss how in the comments). I know what I spoke of about rights and respect it is not always applied, but the problems our women face are not as bad as the ones women abroad do, whether in America, Europe or the Far East or else where Islam is not part of the judicial system as a whole since only parts of the Shariah apply. More over the types of problems are not in extreme as experienced elsewhere.

The lack of fulfillment of those rights and all due respect is precisely is the problem. If Islamic Law were to properly be implemented women would not have suffered the way they did or still do to an extent. Most of the Arab countries are not totally governed by the Islamic Law. But when it was applicable women's rights were acquired to the fullest (that is at the time when Prophet Muhammed lived and after him the time of the four caliphs Abu Bakr, Omar Ibn Al Khattab, Othman Ibn Affan and Ali Ibn Abi Talib Radya Allaho 3anhoum wa2ardahom May Allah bless them). I intend to post something more explanatory about women in Islam and before soon InSha'Allah – God willing.

Now, Oprah is not an Arab, nor is she Moslem. But she believes in God. I realized on several occasions she stressed on that throughout many of her talk shows, but this time, in that specific talk show, one of her guests addressing the father of the boy (subject of the second part of the show) asking him: where was that inner whispering sound, or God or conscience or name it what ever u want to name it," so Oprah said, I call that "GOD"…

I do agree with Oprah, God loves us, he watches out for us; He guides us, only we are too obstinate to listen... And the result is: we loose.

This obstinate attitude mixed with pride was so obvious in that show. The woman and her husband were guilty and knew it, yet tried at the beginning to sort of put up the not guilty mask. But the human heart is kind and pure, all that was proved at the end of the show that pride sometimes leads us to argue in an irrational way; trying not to look bad gets us blind sometimes and drives us away from the truth.

Again, Oprah is immensely good at bringing out the good in people. She always had and has this loving yet straight way of confronting people. She tried through logic and discussion to convince people that they have erred, and that we all do, but it is never too late to go back and correct our mistakes.

At the beginning of the talk show Oprah asked the woman (who had a fake confident smile on her face unlike the man who did not look so comfortable) if she regrets what happened. The woman smiling strangely said yes I do. Oprah wanted a clear answer, so she asked again, which part do you regret exactly, the whole issue or the consequences. The woman replied: the consequences. Oprah still wanted her to clarify. The woman and her husband were taken to jail and their whole family went through lots of problems as a result. The woman said (trying to keep the brave not guilty mask on): I should not have developed the pictures. At that point I was like WHAT????!!! And the same went for Oprah and her audience.

Can you believe they actually took pictures of the stripper and their sons and guests! Problem is the stripper totally took her clothes off, and not only that she was actually rubbing her body against all the young men ages 14-16 and some older, but of course the birthday boy was the one with the most attention as he lay on the floor (pants unzipped!!!) with the stripper on top of him rubbing her ……!!!!! Worst of all through the discussion, the woman was defending herself saying she did not show her sons something they hadn't already seen!!!!

At that point I was shocked… totally bewildered by the statement! And that was when Oprah said that the problem is that nudity is not strange anymore…!

The man on the other hand had a somehow different attitude. I could tell from the beginning he was very regretful for what happened. He did not want them to get the stripper when he was asked at the beginning, but said he was under pressure from a bunch of teenagers and his wife! (Oprah, guests and myslef in shock!). And he also said that when the stripper started undressing he was shocked and stood from a distance because he did not expect that to happen …. OK WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DID HE DO TO STOP THIS MESS?????

That was when the subject of the inner voice was brought up…but he ignored it, he gave in to his weaker inner self… The mother said she walked out, she was not going to watch and she was not about to let her thirteen or fourteen year old daughter who was just about to come in the house to watch either. How come??? And why let your sons watch? Ok they might have seen this before, but why would any parent on earth be the one to initiate such a … I cannot find the words to describe this… I am not the only one who had that feeling. All of Oprah's audience at the studio and herself could not imagine "how a mother and father could do that". This was "The Most Bizarre" Birthday Gift I, Oprah, her audience have ever heard of.

The reason I brought this subject up was because as an Arab/Moslem, I have one question. Why are we always being attacked and called backward? Why are our societies always accused of being mean to women? Is this not mean? For a country to allow prostitution, for it to allow strip clubs, for it to allow the women to degrade themselves the way they are. All this leads to excess in sexual harassment, to arousing men's sexual instincts in a dirty and many times hurtful manner, to treat women and allow them to treat themselves as if they were mere cheap objects, more rates of rapes some accompanied by murder, for very young women to loose their virginity and get pregnant and then throw away their children not necessarily because they want to, but because they are not capable of taking care of them, or not responsible enough, or not ready, so many reasons.

In our countries, fear of God and shame protects women from doing such a thing and if they will do it, it will be a big deal. Not saying it does not happen, because it does, but the highest rates are mostly amongst the uneducated and unreligious people. We cannot have single mothers in our societies...not married that is, except in certain extreme conditions. Due to this fact, a woman fears for herself, for her image, she feels the responsibility and preciousness of her body… It is valuable and not for sale. She cannot go ahead and easily make herself cheap. And yes I mean "cheap". A woman must preserve her rights to have a decent life and to provide her children with dignity and rights, rights to having the minimum of a normal life. Even if problems should arise and divorce takes place "at least" the kids know who their father is and can at least get a minimum settlement of child support. Many a times the judicial systems are totally a mess in these issues (again because the Islamic Law does is not implemented), but the young ones will not live not knowing who their father or mother is. At least they know their families…etc…

You can go ahead and check out the details of that particular show here: http://www.oprah.com/tows/slide/200601/20060120/

slide_20060120_284_105.jhtml

If the above link does not work, go to http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200601/tows_past_200601.jhtml and check out in the archives and check show on date:
1/20/06
Former Child TV Star Reveals the Biggest Mistake of Her Life

Finally my prayer to Oprah Winfry, a Christian American worthy of respect: God Bless you Oprah for what you did, doing and I am sure will continue to do.

Done... but that is not all

2006-02-28T22:58:00.000+02:00

Now that I am done with what I wanted to convey briefly, and yes I really mean briefly because it is a much longer story if anyone should really want to know what Islam and Prophet Muhammed and other prophets were all about.

I chose a convert's point of view to illustrate herein. In my opinion, he has encountered both religions, I assume Christianity followed by Islam, which (no offense) should be the natural and normal path way for all people.. Judaism, followed by Christianity and finalized with Islam (no compulsion of course as mentioned over and over as you may have read, if u read).

If any one cares to discuss anything, it would be nice. But please, we need to all learn to respect one another; we need to have real civilized discussions of issues without hurting each other or disrespecting Religions or religious figures. No one is obliged to do anything; otherwise life would have simply been destroyed or ended by God (that is if you, my current reader are a believer in God).

God the almighty gave us free will, from the day Adam (PBUH) was created and till the day all life forms on earth come to an end. We all need to seriously execute tolerance in our day to day attitude towards one another. Lets all try to live together in peace, lets all state our opinions and respect differences, but with TRUE RESPECT. In all cases, I am not really waiting for comments or anything of the sort. I was doing this because i wanted to, returning the so many blessings Allah has bestowed on me and for my beloved Prophet Muhammed and all other Prophets May Allah's blessings and prayers be onto them all.

I wish I can unite all people, in terms of human unity regardless of their color or religion. That is what I have learned from Prophet Muhammed and all the messengers and prophets sent. And I learned what they wanted through the Quraan and Prophet Muhammed.

Al hamd wal shukr laka ya Malika al Mulk kama yanbaghy lejalilika wa sultanika. Allahoma takabal mina jamee3an Sali7 al a3mal warfa3ha lana yawma la tanfa3na ila heya ba3da ra7matika ya kareem. Ameen Ameen Ameen.

Thanks and gratitude be to You, KING of all things and beings as Your Majesty ought to have. Oh Allah accept from us our good deeds and lift them to our weigh of deeds for a day when nothing shall aid us other than those deeds after Your bountiful mercy and generosity. Amen amen amen.

Facts about Prophet Muhammed and Islam (Part 5))

2006-02-28T19:43:00.000+02:00

So much for the idolaters of Arabia, who had no real beliefs to oppose the teaching of Islam, but only superstition. They invoked their local deities for help in war and put their faith only in brute force. In this they were, to begin with, enormously superior to the Muslims. When the Muslims nevertheless won, they were dismayed; and all their arguments based on the superior power of their deities were for ever silenced. Their conversion followed naturally. It was only a question of time with the most obstinate of them.

It was otherwise with the people who had a respectable religion of their own - the People of the Scripture - as the Qur’an calls them - i.e, the people who had received the revelation of some former Prophet: the Jews, the Christians and the Zoroastrians were those with whom the Muslims came at once in contact. To these our Prophet's attitude was all of kindness. The Charter which he granted to the Christian monks of Sinai is extant. If you read it you will see that it breathes not only goodwill but actual love.

In 628 C.E. Prophet Muhammad granted a Charter of Privileges to the monks of St. Catherine Monastery in Mt. Sinai. It consisted of several clauses covering all aspects of human rights including such topics as the protection of Christians, freedom of worship and movement, freedom to appoint their own judges and to own and maintain their property, exemption from military service, and the right to protection in war.

_________________________________________
An English translation of that document is presented below.

This is a message from Muhammad ibn Abdullah, as a covenant to those who adopt Christianity, near and far, we are with them.Verily I, the servants, the helpers, and my followers defend them, because Christians are my citizens; and by Allah! I hold out against anything that displeases them.No compulsion is to be on them.Neither are their judges to be removed from their jobs nor their monks from their monasteries.No one is to destroy a house of their religion, to damage it, or to carry anything from it to the Muslims' houses.Should anyone take any of these, he would spoil God's covenant and disobey His Prophet. Verily, they are my allies and have my secure charter against all that they hate.No one is to force them to travel or to oblige them to fight.The Muslims are to fight for them. If a female Christian is married to a Muslim, it is not to take place without her approval.

Qur'an 5:5

This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you.The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them.(Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowersand desire chastity not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good)..

She is not to be prevented from visiting her church to pray. Their churches are to be respected. They are neither to be prevented from repairing them nor the sacredness of their covenants.No one of the nation (Muslims) is to disobey the covenant till the Last Day (end of the world).

_______________________

He gave to the Jews of Medina, so long as they were faithful to him, precisely the same treatment as to the Muslims. He never was aggressive against any man or class of men; he never penalized any man, or made war on any people, on the ground of belief but only on the ground of conduct.

The story of his reception of Christian and Zoroastrian visitors is on record. There is not a trace of religious intolerance in all this. And it should be remembered - Muslims are rather apt to forget it, and it is of great importance to our outlook - that our Prophet did not ask the people of the Scripture to become his followers. He asked them only to accept the Kingdom of Allah, to abolish priesthood and restore their own religions to their original purity. The question which, in effect, he put to everyone was this: “Are you for the Kingdom of God which includes all of us, or are you for your own community against the rest of mankind?” The one is obviously the way of peace and human progress, the other the way of strife, oppression and calamity. But the rulers of the world, to whom he sent his message, most of them treated it as the message of either an insolent upstart or a mad fanatic. His envoys were insulted cruelly, and even slain. One cannot help wondering what reception that same embassy would meet with from the rulers of mankind today, when all the thinking portion of mankind accept the Prophet's premises, have thrown off the trammels of priestcraft, and harbor some idea of human brotherhood.

But though the Christians and Jews and Zoroastrians refused his message, and their rulers heaped most cruel insults on his envoys, our Prophet never lost his benevolent attitudes towards them as religious communities; as witness the Charter to the monks of Sinai already mentioned. And though the Muslims of later days have fallen far short of the Holy Prophet's tolerance, and have sometimes shown arrogance towards men of other faiths, they have always given special treatment to the Jews and Christians. Indeed the Laws for their special treatment form part of the Shari'ah.

The capitulation agreement between the Arab commander 'Abd'al-'Aziz (son and successor of Musa ibn Nusayr) and Theodomir, the Visigothic prince of Murcia, on the surrender of the city of Orihuela has survived to this date. This agreement was executed in 713 C.E., within two years of the first organized entry of Muslims into Spain from the south by Commander Tariq ibn Ziyad.

The earlier capitulation agreements dating from 711 were essentially the same but have not survived. The inhabitants of the conquered territories of Spain were suitably impressed by the tolerance which the Muslims offered them once active resistance had ceased, a tolerance which the Roman Catholics had not displayed to their own inhabitants when they were in power. It is these earlier agreements and their successful implementation in the conquered territories that prompted Theodomir and the population of Orihuela to agree to surrender to the Muslims....

In Egypt the Copts were on terms of closest friendship with the Muslims in the first centuries of the Muslim conquest, and they are on terms at closest friendship with the Muslims at the present day. In Syria the various Christian communities lived on terms of closest friendship with the Muslims in the first centuries of the Muslim conquest, and they are on terms of closest friendship with the Muslims at the present day, openly preferring Muslim domination to a foreign yoke....

From the expulsion of the Moriscos dates the degradation and decline of Spain. San Fernando was really wiser and more patriotic in his tolerance to conquered Seville, Murcia and Toledo than was the later king who, under the guise of Holy warfare, captured Grenada and let the Inquisition work its will upon the Muslims and the Jews. And the modern Balkan States and Greece are born under a curse. It may even prove that the degradation and decline of European civilization will be dated from the day when so-called civilized statesmen agreed to the inhuman policy of Czarist Russia and gave their sanction to the crude fanaticism of the Russian Church.

There is no doubt but that, in the eyes of history, religious toleration is the highest evidence of culture in a people. Let no Muslim, when looking on the ruin of the Muslim realm which was compassed through the agency of those very peoples whom the Muslims had tolerated and protected through the centuries when Western Europe thought it a religious duty to exterminate or forcibly convert all peoples of another faith than theirs - let no Muslim, seeing this, imagine that toleration is a weakness in Islam. It is the greatest strength of Islam because it is the attitude of truth.

Allah (SWT) is not the God of the Jews or the Christians or the Muslims only, any more than the sun shines or the rain falls for Jews or Christians or Muslims only.

Facts about Prophet Muhammed and Islam (Part 4)

2006-02-28T01:14:00.000+02:00

For the Muslims, Judaism, Christianity and Islam are but three forms of one religion, which, in its original purity, was the religion of Abraham: Al-Islam, that perfect Self-Surrender to the Will of God, which is the basis of Theocracy. The Jews, in their religion, after Moses, limited God's mercy to their chosen nation and thought of His kingdom as the dominion of their race.

Even Christ himself, as several of his sayings show, declared that he was sent only to the lost sheep of the House of Israel and seemed to regard his mission as to the Hebrews only; and it was only after a special vision vouchsafed to St. Peter that his followers in after days considered themselves authorized to preach the Gospel to the Gentiles. The Christians limited God’s mercy to those who believed certain dogmas. Every one who failed to hold the dogmas was an outcast or a miscreant, to be persecuted for his or her soul’s good. In Islam only is manifest the real nature of the Kingdom of God.

The two verses 2:255 and 2:56 of the Quraan are supplementary:
(255 Allah! There is no God but He, the Lliving, the Self-subsisting, Eternal. No slumber can seize Him nor sleep. His are all things in the heavns and on earth. Who is there that can intercede in His presence except as He permitteth? He knoweth what (appeareth to His creatures as) Before or After or Behind them. Nor shall they compass aught of His knowledge except as He willeth. His throne doth extend over the heavens and the earth, and He feeleth no fatigue.

and;

(256 Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from error: whoever rejects Evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold that never breaks. And Allah heareth and knoweth all things).

Where there is that realization of the majesty and dominion of Allah (SWT), there is no compulsion in religion. Men choose their path - allegiance or opposition - and it is sufficient punishment for those who oppose that they draw further and further away from the light of truth.

What Muslims do not generally consider is that this law applies to our own community just as much as to the folk outside, the laws of Allah being universal; and that intolerance of Muslims for other men's opinions and beliefs is evidence that they themselves have, at the moment, forgotten the vision of the majesty and mercy of Allah (SWT) which the Qur’an presents to them.

In the Qur’an I find two meanings (of a Kafir), which become one the moment that we try to realize the divine standpoint. The Kafir in the first place, is not the follower of any religion. He is the opponent of Allah’s benevolent will and purpose for mankind - therefore the disbeliever in the truth of all religions, the disbeliever in all Scriptures as of divine revelation, the disbeliever to the point of active opposition in all the Prophets (pbut) whom the Muslims are bidden to regard, without distinction, as messengers of Allah.

The Qur’an repeatedly claims to be the confirmation of the truth of all religions. The former Scriptures had become obscure, the former Prophets appeared mythical, so extravagant were the legends which were told concerning them, so that people doubted whether there was any truth in the old Scriptures, whether such people as the Prophets had ever really existed. Here - says the Qur’an - is a Scripture whereof there is no doubt: here is a Prophet actually living among you and preaching to you. If it were not for this book and this Prophet, men might be excused for saying that Allah’s guidance to mankind was all a fable. This book and this Prophet, therefore, confirm the truth of all that was revealed before them, and those who disbelieve in them to the point of opposing the existence of a Prophet and a revelation are really opposed to the idea of Allah's guidance - which is the truth of all revealed religions. Our Holy Prophet (pbuh) himself said that the term Kafir was not to be applied to anyone who said “Salam” (peace) to the Muslims. The Kafirs, in the terms of the Qur’an, are the conscious evil-doers of any race of creed or community.

I have made a long digression but it seemed to me necessary, for I find much confusion of ideas even among Muslims on this subject, owing to defective study of the Qur’an and the Prophet's life. Many Muslims seem to forget that our Prophet had allies among the idolaters even after Islam had triumphed in Arabia, and that he “fulfilled his treaty with them perfectly until the term thereof.” The righteous conduct of the Muslims, not the sword, must be held responsible for the conversion of those idolaters, since they embraced Islam before the expiration of their treaty.

Facts about Prophet Muhammed and Islam (Part 3)

2006-02-25T08:44:00.000+02:00

In Spain under the Umayyads and in Baghdad under the Abbasid Khalifas, Christians and Jews, equally with Muslims, were admitted to the Schools and universities - not only that, but were boarded and lodged in hostels at the cost of the state. When the Moors were driven out of Spain, the Christian conquerors held a terrific persecution of the Jews. Those who were fortunate enough to escape fled, some of them to Morocco and many hundreds to the Turkish empire, where their descendants still live in separate communities, and still speak among themselves an antiquated form of Spanish. The Muslim empire was a refuge for all those who fled from persecution by the Inquisition.

The Western Christians, till the arrival of the Encyclopaedists in the eighteenth century, did not know and did not care to know, what the Muslim believed, nor did the Western Christian seek to know the views of Eastern Christians with regard to them. The Christian Church was already split in two, and in the end, it came to such a pass that the Eastern Christians, as Gibbon shows, preferred Muslim rule, which allowed them to practice their own form of religion and adhere to their peculiar dogmas, to the rule of fellow Christians who would have made them Roman Catholics or wiped them out.

The Western Christians called the Muslims pagans, paynims, even idolaters - there are plenty of books in which they are described as worshiping an idol called Mahomet or Mahound, and in the accounts of the conquest of Granada there are even descriptions of the monstrous idols which they were alleged to worship - whereas the Muslims knew what Christianity was, and in what respects it differed from Islam. If Europe had known as much of Islam, as Muslims knew of Christendom, in those days, those mad, adventurous, occasionally chivalrous and heroic, but utterly fanatical outbreak known as the Crusades could not have taken place, for they were based on a complete misapprehension. I quote a learned French author:

“Every poet in Christendom considered a Mohammedan to be an infidel, and an idolater, and his gods to be three; mentioned in order, they were: Mahomet or Mahound or Mohammad, Opolane and the third Termogond. It was said that when in Spain the Christians overpowered the Mohammadans and drove them as far as the gates of the city of Saragossa, the Mohammadans went back and broke their idols.

“A Christian poet of the period says that Opolane the “god” of the Mohammadans, which was kept there in a den was awfully belabored and abused by the Mohammadans, who, binding it hand and foot, crucified it on a pillar, trampled it under their feet and broke it to pieces by beating it with sticks; that their second god Mahound they threw in a pit and caused to be torn to pieces by pigs and dogs, and that never were gods so ignominiously treated; but that afterwards the Mohammadans repented of their sins, and once more reinstated their gods for the accustomed worship, and that when the Emperor Charles entered the city of Saragossa he had every mosque in the city searched and had "Muhammad" and all their Gods broken with iron hammers.”

That was the kind of "history" on which the populace in Western Europe used to be fed. Those were the ideas which inspired the rank and file of the crusader in their attacks on the most civilized peoples of those days. Christendom regarded the outside world as damned eternally, and Islam did not. There were good and tender-hearted men in Christendom who thought it sad that any people should be damned eternally, and wished to save them by the only way they knew - conversion to the Christian faith.

It was not until the Western nations broke away from their religious law that they became more tolerant; and it was only when the Muslims fell away from their religious law that they declined in tolerance and other evidences of the highest culture. Therefore the difference evident in that anecdote is not of manners only but of religion. Of old, tolerance had existed here and there in the world, among enlightened individuals; but those individuals had always been against the prevalent religion. Tolerance was regarded of un-religious, if not irreligious. Before the coming of Islam it had never been preached as an essential part of religion.

Facts about Prophet Muhammed and Islam (Part 2)

2006-02-22T13:06:00.000+02:00

YES! HE IS MUHAMMED (Allahomma saly wa salem 3aleih, may Allah's praise and blessings be on him)

He was born in Arabia in the year 570, started his mission of preaching the religion of Truth, Islam (submission to One God) at the age of forty and departed from this world at the age of sixty-three.

His Mission
During this short period of 23 years of his Prophethood, he changed the complete Arabian peninsula

From paganism and idolatry to SUBMISSION to one God, Allah,
From tribal quarrels and wars to national solidarity and cohesion,
From drunkenness and debauchery to sobriety and piety,
From lawlessness and anarchy to disciplined living,
From utter bankruptcy to the highest standards of moral excellence.

Human history has never known such a complete transformation of a society or a place before or since – and IMAGINE all these unbelievable wonders in JUST OVER TWO DECADES.

From a lecture by Muhammad Marmaduke Pickthall, I decided to post parts of it, all related to misconceptions about Islam and Prophet Muhammed. I do pray and hope any of u who read, to read it with an open heart and mind, it will not do you harm to know. TO give a Moslem the chance to speak out from their side of the story and to hear them out. It will not lessen your freedom a bit.

An Abridged Version of Pickthall's Lecture

In the eyes of history, religious toleration is the highest evidence of culture in a people. It was not until the Western nations broke away from their religious law that they became more tolerant, and it was only when the Muslims fell away from their religious law that they declined in tolerance and other evidences of the highest culture. Before the coming of Islam, tolerance had never been preached as an essential part of religion.

If Europe had known as much of Islam, as Muslims knew of Christendom, in those days, those mad, adventurous, occasionally chivalrous and heroic, but utterly fanatical outbreak known as the Crusades could not have taken place, for they were based on a complete misapprehension.

Innumerable monasteries, with a wealth of treasure of which the worth has been calculated at not less than a hundred millions sterling, enjoyed the benefit of the Holy Prophet's (Muhammad’s) Charter to the monks of Sinai and were religiously respected by the Muslims. The various sects of Christians were represented in the Council of the Empire by their patriarchs, on the provincial and district council by their bishops, in the village council by their priests, whose word was always taken without question on things which were the sole concern of their community.

The tolerance within the body of Islam was, and is, something without parallel in history; class and race and color ceasing altogether to be barriers.

____________________________________________________

One of the commonest charges brought against Islam historically, and as a religion, by Western writers is that it is intolerant. This is turning the tables with a vengeance when one remembers various facts: One remembers that not a Muslim is left alive in Spain or Sicily or Apulia. One remembers that not a Muslim was left alive and not a mosque left standing in Greece after the great rebellion in l821. One remembers how the Muslims of the Balkan peninsula, once the majority, have been systematically reduced with the approval of the whole of Europe, how the Christian under Muslim rule have in recent times been urged on to rebel and massacre the Muslims, and how reprisals by the latter have been condemned as quite uncalled for.

To be continued....

Facts about Prophet Muhammed (Part 1)

2006-02-21T01:17:00.000+02:00

What are the facts ?

Cartoonists caricature him mean
Wise men adore him… a great man
An estimate of 1,480,083,062 (http://www.factbook.net/muslim_pop.php) bear witness him a Messenger of God

YOU SHOULD GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE TO GET TO KNOW THIS SPECTACULAR MAN AND PROPHET...

ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITANNICA confirms:

“.... A mass of detail in the early sources show that he was an honest andupright man who had gained the respect and loyalty of others who werelike-wise honest and upright men." (Vol. 12)

GEORGE BERNARD SHAW about him:

"If any religion had the chance of ruling over England, nay Europe within the next hundred years, it could be Islam."
I have always held the religion of Muhammad in high estimation because of its wonderful vitality. It is the only religion, which appears to me to possess that assimilating capacity to the changing phase of existence,which can make itself appeal to every age.
I have studied him - the wonderful man and in my opinion for from being an anti-Christ, he must be called the Savior of Humanity."
"I believe that if a man like him were to assume the dictatorship of the modern world he would succeed in solving its problems in a way that would bring it the much needed peace and happiness:
I have prophesied about the faith of Muhammad that it would be acceptable to the Europe of tomorrow as it is beginning to be acceptable to the Europe of today.”
(Sir George Bernard Shaw in 'The Genuine Islam,' Vol. 1, No. 8, 1936.

He did it…

He was by far the most remarkable man that ever set foot on this earth.
He preached a religion, founded a state, built a nation, laid down a moral code, initiated numerous social and political reforms
He established a powerful and dynamic society to practice and represent his teachings and completely revolutionized the worlds of human thought and behavior for all times to come.

Prepeard by Akbar... a good faithful Moslem who did a great job gathering this information. Please feel free to contact him, but after all the parts have been completed. Thank you for your time.

(akbarvaniyambalam@hotmail.com)

To be continued...

Has anyone ever wondered why?

2006-02-19T02:38:00.000+02:00

Islam happens to be the religion amongst others being attacked most ferociously? Has anyone wondered why?

Islam calls for general order of the soul, mind, heart and body. People dislike rules in general and have trouble abiding to them. Down deep inside we can all differentiate between right and wrong, yet we all sometimes do wrong anyway. However some people manage choose to "wrong" themselves and others obstinately, shamelessly and in excess. Here I am not pointing to the wrong doings towards the self, but of the wrong that would harm others. Why can't people just respect one another, let alone divine religions, religious figures and followers of a certain religion to follow it in peace and respect the differences? If someone wants to preach for their religion, so be it, but why can't this be in peace? We are all humans and following whichever religion should be part of the human freedom. It is a freedom of choice after all!

In certain countries citizens as well as ex-patriots of that country learn to abide by the laws whilst they find it so odd that Moslems abide with the Islamic Law which in our faith is a universal law open for all mankind, wish they be part of it or not, is a one to one matter between them and The Creator.... By no means does or was Islam forced on any one.

Those who propagated the claim that Islam has been spread by the sword had and have no clue what they were or are talking about. If so it would have simply not been embraced and followed till this instant. Moreover, it would have diminished if there was any truth behind that "false" accusation. Aggression never attracts people. Islam was and is not the aggressor, never has been and is not.

In Islam, God does not distinguish between peoples; He equalizes every one and puts all humans in the same frame. God does not discriminate between white, dark or yellow, Arabic speaking or non Arabic speaking. Racism and discrimination are creations of weak selfs who chose to submit to their greed and arrogance, thinking they are better than others which is not the case and certainly in Islam it is considered as a sin. People are only different in terms of levels of faith. That too is not of anyone's business or judgment. It is forbidden to judge people, but it is our duty to help one another to be on the right track. Calling for the way of God must be in means of kindness and good advice. Not by force.

I must stress not applying that rule should not incriminate Islam as a whole, but it does those who misapply it or misunderstand the peace and tranquility Islam enforces on its followers. And that I know is the problem. People are not differentiating but generalizing and that is what is totally unjust and bias as well as frustrating and annoying.

The problem is not the Islamic doctrines; the problem is the applicators of those doctrines. And that occurs in all religions. But again, Islam is the religion which has the most rules and as I mentioned before people by nature have trouble with rules. But what I do not understand is why does it still bother the non Moslems. They are not subject to these laws since they are not followers of Islam.

Many people including some Moslems who are not well aware of Islam and have no proper insight of the religion feel or claim Islam means restraint on freedom, where as in truth, it is not the freedom that is the problem. Islam does not restrain freedom, it restrains weakness of the self, submission to the calls of Satan and the weak inner self, which again is a problem for many people. When they cannot or willingly choose not to apply a certain conduct in Islam, they begin saying it is not or was not the case and should not be applied! That causes misunderstandings amongst people and especially to the non Moslems. Conflicts arise and such claims spread causing misunderstandings of Islam.

Now, come to the choice bit, those who insist on snooping into the Moslems' lives and matters, and give themselves the right to make judgments, what's it to them if a woman decides to wear hijab (veil) for instance? Why does it bother them so much? Why does it bother them that we pray five times a day? Why is it so bad that a woman has to be protective of herself in terms of conduct and dress? Even that is not forced upon her. Women make choices as any one else does and each individual is held accountable to their conduct only by God and God alone.

On the other hand, in other countries, some beaches are made for nudity (not to mention the strip clubs and others), the topless, for gays and lesbians… etc etc. No rules, no protection, no nothing, no encouragement for applying the doctrines of religion, namely Christianity and Judaism which are supposedly the religions of the western societies... DOES the Bible or the Tawarat accept such things? NO. of course not, I doubt that very much, no divine religion encourages sinful acts, and those are basically very similar in all three religions. Moslem Governments never interfered in such issues . Why are Christianity and Judaism diminishing from societies' practices? Why are people not getting married anymore? Why are there so many children with single mothers, if with a mother at all? Why are women being so degraded and their bodies so cheap for anyone to see or touch or even abuse? Of course these things also happen in Moslem societies, but if the ratios are going to be compared, sorry to say, but the ratios in non Moslem societies are much higher.

The Islamic doctrines are like the parents of each individual, guiding, teaching, loving and protecting its offspring.

No one forced the non Moslems to embrace Islam. Force nullifies the embracement of this faith and that is a well known order of God in the Holy Quraan and according to Prophet Muhammed!

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Terror is a result of a mix of continuous pressure, racism, bigotry, and clearly unwanted intervention. I by no means justify terror in any of its forms. No true practicing Moslem would. But come one, terror happens every where and by many non Moslems.

Those who practice terror under the banner of Islam are by no means justified. And by no means do they represent Islam or Moslems. But there has been a terrible confusion between terror and self defense in many instances. For example what happens in Palestine is terror, but not by the Palestinian side, it is Israel who is the real terrorist there. I cannot conceive how people cannot see that.
In Iraq, The united states claimed that it would grant the people freedom and democracy, what is the result??? They stimulated not only terror on the lands of Iraq, but international terrorism. Not only that, Americans are dying there for no reason! American finances are being wasted. American blood is being shed along with that of many innocent people, especially innocent children! Where is the peace in Iraq now? They gave way to formation of gangsters! They walked in and set the whole country in flames, rubble, and so many corpses! BLOODSHED! And under what banner? Freedom and Democracy? Please!

What differentiates people in Allah's view is our levels of faith, and even those of weak faith are most welcome to strengthen themselves and seek God's aid in that with no problem. Those who do not believe in Islam are free to do what they want… No one is to be forced to embrace this religion… But also Moslems do not want any intervention in their doctrines and lives.

The term "Kafir" bothers so many non Moslems. The word means non believer and may be applied by any one of any religion towards another who does not believe in the same. It is not an offense. For example for Christians I as a Moslem am considered a non believer therefore in Arabic meaning Kafira in their sense, since I am a follower of a different religion. However it is worth mentioning that actually as a Moslem I am believer in Christianity. I must and have no choice because it is part of my faith to believe in Christianity and Judaism which I gladly do. They are all God's word and are therefore part of my faith and it cannot be complete unless if I believe in them. How the people follow their religions is their business, not ours. We do not go around tampering with their books or dare say a word of their prophets or saints. No true Moslem would dare draw a cartoon mocking any respected figure in other religions. No Moslem scholar would dare come up with a new bible and encourage Christians to hand it to one another claiming it is a good present from a Christian to another! That was one of the sentences used by the priest who claimed to come up with a new version of the Quraan called the "true furqan" on the shelves carrying the books as a note from the author!!!

God is the all forgiving the all loving. He tells us that no matter how much we have sinned there is always a way for repentance. He forgives everything but one thing if insisted upon and not repented, and that is Shirk. Shirk is the concept of placing someone next to God the almighty in belief or worship. And that is THE SIN OFALL SINS in Allah's view. As humans, we are to believe in the following:
God is only One, has no partner or son, neither gives birth, nor is He born. He is eternally besought by all and has no beginning or end, and none is equal to Him
(Qur'an, 112:1-5)
That I know offends non Moslems, but again why? Why would it bother anyone as long as they are not forced to follow? At the end of the day, people do not bring this subject up unless if interest to understand and know is a subject of discussion. It does not come between a Moslem and a non Moslem friend, nor does it intervene in business amongst people, or soccer players on a field.
To us is our belief and to them is theirs. Islam does not force anyone to follow it. Force nullifies the belief in Islam. God commanded that we let every one follow what they choose to follow. It is a one to one relationship. But at the same time, in the case our religion is offended we are to speak out in peaceful means, if limits are crossed, we do have the right to defend ourselves, but by no means begin with transgression in terms of war and bloodshed.

Satan calls for anything and every thing in contradiction to what Islam calls for. Not to mention the weak inner self of the human nature.. We cannot go about always completely blaming satan can we?

All of the attacks on Prophet Muhammed are really odd and totally unacceptable. Common sense is in every thing he called for and do you know why? Because he was being taught by the creator. For those who look into this religion without being bias, they may come to realize that clearly. Prophet Muhammed was being guided by GOD as all other prophets and when not he even mentioned it.

In one of the battles against the Meccans, Prophet Muhammed ordered the Moslem soldiers to station the troops by a well to be in a strategic position. When asked by one of the Moslems if he had ordered to do so according to his thought as a human or as a direct command and instruction by God the almighty he replied no as Muhammed, the human. The man suggested they go to a bigger well and station there. Prophet Muhammed responded immediately and took the Moslem soldier's advice.

Prophet Muhammed called for justice, for kindness, for charity, for chastity, for ethics in everything even with those who did not follow the Islamic faith. Prisoners of war advised to teach ten illiterate people how to read and write in exchange for their freedom. Whilst in Abu Gharib, guantanamo, and Israeli prisons men are being degraded and tortured till this date despite the so called human rights. 25 Moslems' graves have been vandalized (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/02/12/AR2006021201087.html) Why? What have the dead got to do with all these messy situations??? How bizarre!

What makes me not so surprised from the current events and all the attacks Islam and Moslems are undergoing is Prophet Muhammed informed us that a time shall come when those clinging onto their faith shall be like those clinging onto a rock of fire! This indicated a time of difficulty and struggle the Moslems shall encounter. A time where those holding onto their faith shall be attacked ferociously and relentlessly. How would a human being know of such a thing? How would he predict something like that unless if there was a higher power informing him of such things. Many other things that the Prophet mentioned did take place and are taking place and shall keep taking place till he end of time.

In the Quraan and through Prophet Muhammed's teachings the followers of Islam were told clearly that if they follow what the verses of the Quraan taught and what the Prophet taught then people shall never stray or face major problems. That was not and is not the case. Unfortunately, a fraction of Moslems are only so on paper, and have abandoned the essences of Islamic doctrines. Many have adopted attitudes and practices that have nothing to do with Islam.

The result is what has happened, is happening and will happen. How would verses that were revealed more than 1,400 years ago and a Prophet that informed of so much be able to predict such incidents unless if it were truly from the Lord of this universe? Prophet Muhammed was, is and always shall be the master of ethics and morals above all mankind. He was chosen to fulfill the message of God on earth. Those who wish to listen, comprehend and follow are free to do so and those who choose otherwise are also free. But under no circumstances does this freedom mean transgression!

Many verses pointed out that only those who have soft hearts and open minds shall follow the Islamic guidelines. Kindness of the heart is an essential part of Islamic Faith? Hard hearts and stiff minds do not fall in place within this faith. Those whose hearts are warm and kind, and whose tears flow at hearing and comprehending the verses of the Quraan are those who are true believers. Those who treat those around them with compassion and consideration, those who respect, love and provide for their parents even if not following the same faith, those who care and provide for the poor and needy, those who do not wish or want for others except what they want for themselves, those who respect their neighbors and not inflict harm on them, those who share their wealth with the needy, those who fast with all their senses to feel for others and feel thankful for their blessings, those who marry and understand the sacred bond of marriage and what family ties mean, those who do not deal with a woman as if she were a mere object of exploitation… I can keep going on and on.

Islamic Faith shall prevail, I have no doubt. It did before in the face if tyranny and bigotry and it shall again. What makes me confident are the numerous things that have been mentioned in both the Quraan and the Prophets sayings and practices. Every thing has proven CORRECT and PRECISE. Everything is from the creator of this universe and all living creatures on it. If anyone looks deeply into this religion namely the Quraan and the Sunnah with an open heart and mind free of bias feelings, and has some common sense shall know for sure that it is the Religion for all mankind. It combines belief of all divine revelations, of all prophets of all Angels. OF simply everything!

The Quraan, the teachings and sayings of Prophet Muhammed, inform us of the logical beginning and the inevitable end.

Time shows so much, but only for those who are logical or reasonable, even the Quraanic verses always referred to the same, to those who are rational or logical in mind and heart, that those shall be the ones who will abide to the laws of GOD. To the one and only God with no partner… Allaho A7ad… Allah is one.

If we count the transgressions on Islam by non Moslems towards our most revered objects and people representing keys of faith, too much has been done, and many crossed their limits. End results are however never going to meet their expectations. This religion has the deepest and longest roots since the creation of humanity be it admitted or not admitted. It has flourished, spread, survived and has been embraced and followed with conviction and shall continue to do so God willing.

The only thing those people are doing are "creating" unnecessary fury and anger against them. They are creating more and more gaps. Maybe their economic status will change eventually, Maybe they will go to the WTO to complain and get somewhere with that, but the disrespect will not go away and neither shall the hatred they created.

What really startles me is Moslems are always expected to be silent if and when offended.
Strange.

I always believe that something good always finds its way out of the worst situations one or people may face. Moslems whom have been distant are growing closer and closer, struggling strongly for one cause. Moslems are getting more and more united. A stronger awareness of unity has come out of this.

I would like to say this to my fellow Moslems, bothers and sisters. It is about time that all of us (including myself when and if applicable) who have abandoned our Islamic traditions and ideologies go back and abandon what you are blindly mimicking. It will not make you modern to do so, or civilized. Civilization is what the Quraan and Prophet Muhammed taught, ethics and etiquette, kindness and justice, equality, peace and love, unity, aid when needed, etc etc etc.

Abandoning these things is precisely what gave those people the chance to dare cross their limits. I am not saying by any means do not mix or not be in peace with Non Moslems, because The Holy Quraan and Prophet Muhammed taught us to deal with them in peace in all aspects (as long as they are in peace with us). Do not abandon who and what you truly are. Take pride in yourselves, pick up on the positives things they may teach us, but do not ever loose your true identity and Islamic practices. There are no conflicts of interest in that.

Ash-hado an la illaha ila Allah, wa 2ana Muhamadoun Rasoulo Allah! Allahoma balaght Allahoma fash-had.
I bear witness there is no God but Allah and that Prophet Muhammed is his Prophet. Oh Allah I have informed Oh Allah be my witness.

Peace be to all you out there.

Charismatic Soul and Wonderer... A day to remember!

2006-01-18T23:58:00.000+02:00

Just before I begin, there were always rhymes that we used to write to one another as friends on cards or small papers that we all kept (at least for some time) and were really fond of. That was back at school when we were kids, but for some reason, I want to quote one here:

There are small ships

and
There are big ships
But the greatest ships of all
Are Friend-Ships!

Ok, here goes, Doshar and I met with Charismatic Soul and Wonderer. I have written earlier about meeting with wonderer, it was a pleasure and it was fun too!

Chari is so easy going, has a lovely smile, and I guess we all felt easy, so easy I can dare say, at least I did! I hope they enjoyed it too!

Only this time, we met outdoors at a coffee shop called Coffee Roastry. It was like a second home to me before I got married. I was always there almost on a daily basis for five or more consecutive years! That place added one great memory to the old memories.

This one is "A Memory" that is different and unique. Meeting such lovely people is very nice. Now in this time we are living in, despite all what is being said about few good people, it is good bumping into nice people.

One day before the meeting, I get a call from Wonderer, she says something like a brief hello, then immediately she says tomorrow at eleven (a.m. of course). I did not have a chance to say anything; she says that is not negotiable tomorrow at eleven we meet at Coffee Roastry, Me (wonderer), Chari, Doshar and yourself! I told her I would do my best to be there on time, all depends on Omar and how the day goes, but God willing I will make it. She emphasized on not being late, and I said will do my best.

Funny thing is, first one there was Doshar and I followed shortly. Omar was crying and did not want to be left at the nursery (the every day heart breaking routine!).

I was there at fifteen past eleven. Wonderer and Chari came a short while later, and I was making fun of Wonderer because I am the one that is always late for things and she was emphasizing the day before that I must be there on time.

It was really nice, all of it. We sat comfortably, chatted and ate all together. I was picking stuff from Doshar and Wonderer's plates because I ordered pan cakes which were not nice. Not as I expected them to be at allL Chari however only had drinks! And sugarless too!

At the end, Doshar took some photos and we were all laughing quite loud for some reason, each one complaining about how she looked in the photo, but the photos were absolutely nice. The idea of us all in one picture is a great memory.

We left in twos! Doshar and I went to the Club to get some stuff from the exhibition (that never ends all through the year) and Chari and Wonderer off to their homes I guess. Oh forgot to tell you, Wonderer came along with her son's microscope hoping that since Doshar is a famous dentist would be able to assemble it for her! Hehehehehe. Won't tell u how that went, will leave it to them when and if they comment!

Rats! How could I forget, Wonderer called Nerro, all of us were hoping she could make it. But she was at work and could not take any time off.

I do pray some day the next meeting more of you bloggers in Egypt can be there. It was a great gathering!
Me, I hope u are not teased... We really wish u could be there at some point. Insha'Allah u will.

Jane if u are reading this, I really wish u can make it to Egypt some time. I would love to meet u in person some time too!

Eid Mubarak Every One

2006-01-10T01:46:00.000+02:00

I just love the Kaaba, and Eid Al Adha for me always brings it to my mind.

It brings peace to my heart and mind, and I do pray I be blessed to be there some time soon

at a time like this, time of the Hajj (Pligrimage).

Eid Mubarak to all you Moslems out there, from the deepest of my heart. I pray Allah grants us a visit to the kaaba. I pray we all get to go there for Hajj inshaAllah. That is one very important prayer and wish I want to offer to you lovely people.

Other than that, I pray this Eid brings you and me closer to our loved ones. I pray it be a new beginig to new ways of life for all of us. So filled with love, compassion, care, unity, respect and appreciation for one another and for every one we may meet through out our lives.

I pray for my unmarried blogger female friends to be blessed with lovely husbands and children, and vise versa for the males. I pray that all your lives be filled with security and serenity, I pray God grants us the strength and patience to be thankful for every thing that happens to us or comes our way. I pray that all the unfortunate Moslems be blessed with peace and tranquility. I pray for the homeless to be sheltered. I pray for the sick to be cured, I pray for the orphans to find warm hearts, I pray for the stray to find the straight path.

Last but not least, I pray for my father to be well soon insha'Allah. Ameen Ameen Ameen.

Omar's Birhtday

2006-01-06T16:32:00.000+02:00

Last night I was kindly invited to Omar's birthday! And it was a blast really. I took some pictures, and wanna talk about it, but will wait for Dalulla to do it first (her vesrion) or will do it on my blog. Just thought to tell you all that Omar just had a beautiful 3rd birthday!

hats off to Dalulla's mom. Begad...What an effort.

May he have many many happy birthdays ISA.
Ciao

Just a small reminder for me and you

2006-01-05T16:51:00.000+02:00

Please do not forget to pray for People of Pakistan, Palestine, Iraq, Sudan, parts of the United States that have been struck lately (since i am totally totally not following up with anything, but pray for them when i remember), Somalia, Bosnia, and any other place where any people may be in distress of any sort.

We need not forget those people who are definitely much less fortunate than we.

No matter how much we go through many others are for fact going through a worse time than we are.

Maybe those prayers will help us as well. When we remember them in prayer and good wishes, it is like an investment in our book of deeds.

GOD is merciful, and prayers really do make a difference.

Allahoma Farej karb kol man 3ala wajih el ard, wahdina wahdihom, wa 2amen el nas ajma3een men al khawf, wal jou3 wal marad wal bard. Allahoma kawy iman al nas ajma3een wahidina wahdihim al sirati al mostakim. Ameen Ameen Ameen

I pray God relieves all those on the face of this earth, I pray God guides us all, I pray God gives them security and peace from any fear, hunger sickness/illness and the cold whether especially now a days. I Pray God strengthens faith withing people's hearts and our hearts and to lead them to the straight path. Amen Amen amen.

I pray for a new begining for every one (including myself)!

Omar growing up

2006-01-02T22:49:00.000+02:00

Ok dear friends, for some reason I wanted to share something very precious with you all. Here are some photos of him as he grew up.

Please pray for him and for me to always be the mother

he will think of with love when he grows up.

I do pray I be a mother that he would be proud of, a mother that will help him through every thing and anything with love and wisdom.

Amen amen amen...

I think this picture was taken on the day he was born or the second.

My hand and Omar's hand

Omar, five days old, and no that is not me in the photo!

Whinnie the Pooh and Omar

Papa's hand and Omar's tiny hand

My little angel, sound asleep.

What's with all the slippery stuff ? Where is all of it coming from?

I want to sleep!

Heyyyy, I have feeet! Two of em too!

I feel sleeeeepy. I'll try to rock myself since mom is too busy taking photots!

Those things are colorful, they seem edible, why not, I'll have a bite!

My first day in a big bathtub (swimming pool that is), never knew they came in such big sizes...

At the sea side:
wooooow a bigger bathtub!

Hey! I can do push ups! I didn't know that.. very interesting!

I would love to bite my old man back, but I have no teeth yet! But I will someday, and boy will Ii show them all!

Mobiles can be very harmful, so allow me! That mobile was destroyed by Omar's drewl power!

What can i say? The kid decided it was not good for me!

I am not Omar but
Whinnie the Pooh.
Can I please have
that camera?

Too bad, she must have removed everything and anything that I am not supposed to lay hands on..Ratttts!
shhhhh, on my way to do some michief, now that i have this walking machine i can get to anything and every thing! shhhh don't tell mamma
First haricut:
Mommy dearest cut my hair reaaaal short at home! She could not wait for the barber to do it!

Heeyyyyy it's too sunny for me, can't open my eyes.. I need to throw some sand around on my grannny and parents! Which way? which way?!

A hard worker:

Well, I guess after all the effort he made to sucessfully dismatle his truck, I guess he was exhausted and slept next to it, but placing his hand on it so that no one takes away his hard work!
Generous:

Omar eating chocolate and feeding his clothes and his high chair with him, generouse aint he?!!!

I think he was about to cry because he wanted to give the digital camera a bit of chocolate, which was something I could not afford allowing him to do!

But it passed!

January 1st

2006-01-01T02:58:00.000+02:00

Like today, three years back, this time, 3:02 past midnight, I still had Omar inside of me!

I was having trouble sleeping, excitement, fear, and many more feelings but most of all faith in God.

I was scheduled to deliver by c-section on the first of January, actually I was given a choice between the first and second, but I settled for the first day of the year, of the first day of each new year (ya rab ye7yeeny for some more isa – I pray God grants me some more years).

Omar was delivered at 11:10 in the morning on a Wednesday, year 2003. It was a beautiful warm and sunny day.

The years have passed. I don't know what to say. I don't know whether they went by quickly or not. It is odd. I just cannot tell!

I pray my son is blessed by God, to be:
a good Moslem,
to be blessed with good health and a sound mind
to be kind
to be loving
to be grateful (in all senses first to ALLAH and to anyone who may do the least for him)
to be generous even if it means having a 5 pound bill in his pocket but being able to give it to some one in more need
to be a regular in the mosque
to be of good influence on those around him
to never look down on sinners, but rather give them a hand
to be in Love with Allah and His prophet, thereby to all mankind
not to hold grudges
to remember any wrong doings done to him (God Forbid) but to be able to be forgiving)
to be firm yet tender

so much more, really I could keep going on and on. I am greedy in duaa (supplication) where Omar is concerned. I had begun the duaa for my unknown son the minute we decided to have a child!

If I want to live, I want to live to deliver a good man to the Islamic Umma and to the rest of the world.

God grant me what it takes to deliver a man You and Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly wa Salem 3aleih) would look onto and be proud of. A Proper Moslem who will hopefully be part of bringing peace and love to this earth, a Moslem who would be able to tell those who are not Moslems what Islam truly is and calls for. A Moslem who would have a good impact on the Moslems who are weak in faith. A man who will really have a positive and deep impact on this world!

Kol 3am wa2anta ila Allaha Akrab ya Omar! I pray each year to come brings you closer to Allah Omar!

Ameen Ameen Ameen.

Happy New Year

2005-12-30T02:56:00.000+02:00

Happy New Year to all of you and to your loved ones!

I want to beg your pardon since the post before this one

was miserable.

I would like to ask u all to pray at New Year's eve for

every human who has suffered to be relieved somehow.

To pray the wars come to an end,

and to pray people would wake up and start thinking straight

in terms of

unity, respect, peace and love.

I love all of You and appreciate every second

you took from your time to put in a kind word for me.

I am blessed to have you all in my life.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Omar and the Cold, Sam and the Stroke.

2005-12-30T02:52:00.000+02:00

Cold, everyone has a cold! AL hamd lillah!

My son has been sick for the past month! He was getting better than caught a virus from his mates in the nursery. Poor little thing, he not only has influenza, but an ear infection because of the cold! I never saw Omar as sick as this time, it breaks my heart. One night he woke up crying and screaming from his ears!

I was devastated and it was past 4 midnight. But thank God, It passed. I took him to the doc and he is slowly getting better.

It scared me to know that viral infections keep getting worse and worse by the day! It really does.

Omar has not been going since last Wednesday. Had a terrible cough, runny nose, the ear pain, dizziness because of it and fever every now and then reaching to 38.5 degrees Celsius!

Omar's birthday is on the first of January, Sunday. But we are arranging for the celebration to be on Thursday for our family to be able to attend since Sunday is a working day and so is the remainder of the week. Fridays are usually off.

I do pray he gets better, please pray for him.

I am also in a terribly lousy mood because I am totally unable to visit dad. I am also sick too by the way. I am too scared to get him sick. He has enough to deal with as it is.

I am thankful to God at how he has become. But I do pray He recovers despite what his doctor told me about him not recovering completely. God is kind. What ever He destines for dad, I thank Him for it. I just pray God does grant Sam and us the strength to deal with whatever situation he settles at.

My step mother is worried to an extent. Dad of course has not been back to work ever since the stroke. We are a middle/high class Egyptian family. Dad has commitments. I wish there were something I can do. I am afraid to even ask how they have been doing lately. Too embarrassed and scared to ask. Moreover, if I ask, my step mother speaks in front of him. And I do know for fact that might make him feel down.

Some times I ask myself how she fails to realize that some things should not be discussed in front of him. It is odd. Maybe I am trying to ignore it, but it is bothering me and worrying me to a great extent!

I've been trying to not write about this for some time, but I do need your kind prayers. I was too shy to ask this past period. I asked all of u many times for some time.

I really need u guys to pray for Sam, for Omar, and for me. For every one in need of a prayer of good wishes for health.

My hubby went fishing with his mom and a friend of his. I never get time to vent off. I am truly exhausted and doing my best to stay standing on my feet. I still feel so devastated each time I speak to Sam on the phone.

I am not ungrateful for God's will, but I am human. I happen to love Sam so much it just breaks my heart. I am aware we are in a much better state than many other people, but …..

Prayers Prayers Prayers P L E A S E!

Please pray God gives me the strength.

Thanks u all!

Meeting Wonderer in flesh and blood!!!

2005-12-29T01:28:00.000+02:00

Speaking of making friends through blogs, I can dare say it has really turned out to be a great thing. Not that I did not feel so before, but now things are getting developing nicely. Moving from the blogo-sphere world to the real world!

Doshar and I whom happen to be friends in the real life met with wonderer! It was just beautiful.

It all started with the blogging, then e-mails, then long distance calls, then local calls, then we finally had the pleasure to meet with Wonderer.

Such a lovely person, really. Who ever said that friendships cannot happen through the net? But I do admit, it may not always turn out like this.

I guess it is something with all our hearts… God knows us best, and God has guided each one of us to the other somehow, and God is protecting us from people who are not really good…

I always like to take steps forward and I do not like hindrances in building a human relationship, making a friend that is. I do rely on God's protection and my clear intentions and thank God, I have not regretted anything so far. The negatives, I learned from, and the positives have had a great impact on my life! Those who I may say were negative relationships were the people not worth knowing and therefore I had nothing to loose. But those that were and still are positive and living, walking, talking proof there are great hearts and souls out there. People who make a good impact on my life, who make me cheer up when I feel down. People who really warm my heart up and help me to keep going! (I love u all)

Thank you God, now and always!

It was my honor that the meeting went on in my humble home. See, Omar, my son, is very sick, has been for the past month!!! YES a whole month! Al hamd Lillah for every thing anyway. I was hoping we would go out and all but it was in my opinion much more comfortable at home. I felt more at ease, and she got to also see me without the Hijab (veil), so she saw all of me! hehe.

She told me I looked so different from my photo. I guess because I was wearing the veil. It does make a difference.

I would also like to mention that wonderer did not come in empty handed! She got us all gifts!!! I was shocked, really she was too sweet. It is not the materialistic aspect which mattered, rather the meaning of the thought and the effort she made to get them.

And guess what? She even got us some sandwiches; foul and ta3meya from el 3omda for a brunch!!! That was really so cute, all of it was. We spent some good time, non of us felt that we are strangers. It is so strange that we all felt that we knew each other. What is best of all we are all simple and easy going creatures, maybe that was what even made the gathering real warm and nice.

We also gave sweet "me" a call, we all wished she could have come down from Alex. But insha'Allah maybe she can manage to sort out something in the near future!

Also looking forward to meeting Chari! She will also be coming to Cairo soon insha'Allah.

Wonderer, I want to thank you for trusting Doshar and I and coming over to my home for our first gathering, I know not many people would do that, and I do not advise many people to do it.

But all I can say is Sub7ana - glory be to Allah for gathering us all like this and for letting the trust and love to grow between us the way it has.

I do pray and wish some day all of us bloggers get to meet and get more acquainted…

To be able to make a friend is not easy and is a blessing. I pray we all be sincere, loving, and caring friends now and always, and I do sincerely pray that we all meet some day and to be able to maintain our friendship as long as we all live!
I am really grateful to have u all in my life!

I miss Bloggers and blogging!

2005-12-18T01:13:00.000+02:00

Dear friends,

I have been so occupied lately. Too much to do and so little time to do it. I have been suffereing a terrible neck, shoulder and back pain lately due to both physical and emotional stress!

I have no time to rest at all!

I miss all of u out there. I swear I have no time at all! Not to even jump in and out to read other blogs. I really miss all of u out there, but u are all in my heart and prayers.

I just wanted to tell all of you how much I miss u and that I love you all. I hope all is well with every one. Happy new year to every one, and Merry X-mas to my non Moslem friends.

My warm wishes for every one for a beautiful new year filled with love, success, unity, and loads of happiness.

My prayers go out to Pakistan, Palestine, Iraq, Soumalia, Bosnia, New Orleans and any other state that has gone through any crises in America and any where else where other people may be experiencing any sort of hardships of any sort. I wish everyone well from the deepest of my little heart!

I do pray the world sees some peace. I really do... Amen amen amen.

May GOD fill your days with comforted hearts and clear consciences... Amen Amen Amen.

Love,
Dalulla (Dahlia)

Do not underestimate the power of a word!

2005-12-11T00:07:00.000+02:00

Ba3do al kalimato nour wa ba3douha koubour…

The above saying means that some words may shed light and some may be as bad as death..

Prophet Muhammed offered much advice regarding the utterances of words and what they may lead to. I find it so strange how some people fail to realize that.

Some people underestimate what words may do to people. I find that some people's realization depends and shows how deep the person is.

I know some people whose entire lives have changed drastically because of words. Mine has in so many ways throughout different stages of my life.

Some words made my life easier and some more difficult and brought sadness and pain to my heart, soul and even body! I get affected physically from stress or sadness! And I know many people do as well. The psychological aspect of the human mind is very much connected to the physiological, well at least where I'm concerned it is!

Now, I am receiving so many words from all sorts of people. Many of which are very saddening and harsh. But thank God, many others so full of love, care and tenderness. Here on the blogo-sphere, so far all the words I have been receiving lately have been blissful.

I can easily say, very supportive in the midst of lots of pain I am going through. I like to rise above difficulties, I really do not like giving in easily, but I sometimes fall for a while, which is alright. But I like to pick up where I fell and continue. Life must go on. I solace myself by remembering those who have no one to talk to, and especially those who are unable to communicate with God.

Best talking I honestly do is that with God. I do love Him dearly, and I wish I meet His expectations. I am weak as any other human, but I am really struggling and trying to maintain my connection and keep my faith intact.

People, I have grown to love each one of you so much. You have all made a great difference in my life. I feel God joined me with you as a sign of solace from Him in the midst of what I have gone through and still going through just to tell me that there are many good and lovely hearts out there and that they are not so far away!

Please, never under estimate what kind words can offer a person in despair, not just to me, but to anyone in need. A kind word may do wonders in people's lives. Words can help one to really get through so much.

All due thanks to Allah, and to your lovely words!

Little and Big plans have failed, but . . .

2005-12-03T00:27:00.000+02:00

My days are now somewhat bizarre and obscure for some reason. I do not feel much stability but trying to really cope and regain a sense of the lost again.

It is true I really feel something is lost or not within my grasp. I've always managed to cope with very difficult and awkward situations that have escalated after the age of 20, especially after a car accident I had (on my 20th birthday 1994). It was a serious one, but Allah is merciful. I will not get into these details, even though I wish I can take them all out, but cannot. I hate feeling restrained, but sometimes when your life is directly connected with others and harm that befell you was directly connected to "dear and close" people, and yes I do call them dear because no matter what happened from them, they were always dear to me and still are. I was angry and sad at the suffering I went through both to their wrong doings and mine too. I must admit, we do mistakes knowing they are wrong, at least I admit that regardless of any wrong doings they were mistakes, but I really feel very strong they were a negative and unwanted reaction to what I was receiving from others, besides I was young, vulnerable, and literally and practically ALL ALONE in terms of human support. God was and is always around, but it all depends on what level of faith we are in and at that time I strongly believe that His mercy and love of mankind was what got me through and nothing else!

I do say it quite confidently though, that my share of mistakes was directly a result of the wrong doings towards me from close kin. What makes me quite confident is many older people told me so, and once my uncle (mom's brother) told me the same, so I am not just making my own judgments here. I was young and did not have anyone by my side much. At least for some years I didn't, many of the some I mentioned are not few in the thirty one God granted me and still counting insha'Allah. I always felt I was alone and sometimes still do. I never had any gentle touch except from my father where kin is concerned, but many from outsiders, is that not strange? But it was a blessing. Dad has always been so kind and tender, but sad to say passive in a sense, and that caused many problems to arise as I grew. I love him immensely despite his passiveness. Maybe because he is so kind hearted.

Believe me I have no clue why I am writing this down. Maybe it is because I am going through too many events. Everyone's capabilities of coping with tasks are different. I am not too great of a multi tasked person. I like perfecting things. I am capable of doing "a few" things all at the same time, but I do not usually like to do so. What can I say; the conditions we all live in now force us to do handle many things all at the same time. Oh God, please do give me the strength to perfect things as best as I can in terms of human capabilities, especially the bringing up of my son and many other things, most important of which is worship, berr el waledein (the ties with parents in all aspects), selat al ra7em (ties with family), creating and maintaining good relationship with people and being productive in this world (i.e. investing well for my after life).

I do not recall that any of my life stages were exactly smooth, even child hood. My entire life was strange. (Sigh) … Al Hamd Lillah. (thank God for everything) of course, I am much better off than other people. But my standards of judgment concerning this matter rely on certain provided conditions, which accordingly should have lead to a more stable life. But it was not.

I do thank God that I am somewhat psychologically stable, although I know not completely, but considering what I went through, Yes I may say I am psychologically alright (I think, am I even allowed to say that? Hehe, whatever!).

I do however have the best Psychologist and problem shooter (I keep reminding myself of that every now and then, well in my daily five prayers)…. I have ALLAH, we all do. I just need to keep on asking for more patience, to keep my connection strong and that is what I am striving to do. I know for fact God has been generous with me despite my moments of weakness and sins (old, new and hopefully not anymore terrible stuff to come).

I sometimes really wonder how ungrateful and disobedient we creatures can be, yet He still keeps us alive. That alone proves one of His great mercies upon us; many of us (including myself of course) do forget during the heat of some moments and sometimes for a very long time and sometimes forever (I do pray that never happens to any of you nor me!).

Does He not own our souls? Why do many of us forget that, why do I personally fall into weakness or despair at heats of moments despite my unshakable faith in His Power and will? It is no doubt that evil Satan and the weak self within lead to that. I pray God helps us all overcome those moments. We are a blow of His soul, it is His, and to it, its return!

Allahomma Ighfirly ma la ya3lamoun waj3alni khayran mima yathounoun!
Oh Allah forgive me what people do not know about me, and help me be better than what they think of me.

Allah sataar… God protects us by not exposing us to others. Sub7an Allah, people cannot know exactly anything that we don't want them to know, but HE does! It is His merciful way of protection, to give us chances to repent and better ourselves. By the way, as I write this I am getting goose bumps all over!

I just felt I wanted to take these feelings out. I know they may be vague to all of you, but I just wanted to take them out here.

By the way, dad is progressing slowly. But thank God he is. Maybe one of the reasons I am down is I haven't been able to go to him for the past four days, but I finally managed to go today. Maybe that was one of the reasons making me feel so down. It was a teaser, hearing him over the phone struggling to tell me something, or trying hard to say something. I swear I am feeling so much gratitude to God for his mercy on dad, but I cannot help but feel so sad for him.

I do love you Oh Allah
But I sometimes get so weak and fragile
Help me help myself,
Help me stay on the right track,
Forgive my weaknesses and please do not send the angel of death while I am in such a miserable state.
Amen Amen Amen

Please pray for me and all people to die while doing any act of satisfaction to please God, not to die in disbelief, or while in the midst of a shameful act.

Please pray for me to die while praying, or giving charity or doing anything that will meet God's satisfaction and mercy. Pray with me for my sins to be forgiven, for my weak self to strengthen, for me to see my son a good raw model of a Moslem man. Pray for Omar to be amongst those who may help the non Moslems to understand the beauty of Islam. Pray that I live to deliver what I can to Omar, which will help him lead a faithful, respectable and successful life.

I am feeling better at this very moment, but I still do need your prayers.

Astaghfiru Allah men shari da3f al nafs. I seek forgiveness from the evil of the weak self and from Satan.

The text on the photo

reads as follows (just in case not readable enough):

The little plans I tried to carry out have failed O' Dear God.

But I will not sorrow I will pause a little while and try again!

(in Dalulla's case also big ones, hmmm but never the less, thank God- this part is not in the text though hehe)

Wa 3asa an takraho shay2oun wa howa khayroun lakom,

Wa 3asa an tou7ebo sha2an wahowa sharon lakom!

(we sometimes may hate or dislike things whilst there is good in them,

and we may also desire things that are no good for us! a close explaination but not exact)

Michael Jackson and the Mosque.

2005-11-28T03:07:00.000+02:00

The above photo and article were e-mailed to me some years back. This is Germain Jackson, Michael Jackson's brother.

____________________________________

Sub7ana Allah.. La keda 3ageb wala keda 3ageb (meaning, nothing satisfies people!)… I was visiting a fellow blogger's blog… and they wrote something about another post at another blogger's blog… About Michael Jackson intending to build a mosque in Bahrain (http://www.khaleejtimes.com/DisplayArticle.asp?xfile=data/middleeast/2005/November/middleeast_

November671.xml§ion=middleeast&col=)...

I personally see no problem in that. I do despise what I hear about the child molestations. But I learned something and that is "GOD KNOWS". I did not see with my own eyes, therefore God Knows (He is the all knower all hearer of every detail in this life)... I feel it is only fair.

There is also a saying by Prohet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) that says, man satara mo2manan fel donya sataraho Allaho fel Akhera.. Those of you who do not expose those of faith shall be protected and never exposed to others on the day of judgement.. My own translation.. I think the meaning is the same. There fore we are advised not to speak of that which will harm people. I think if the situation is of serious concern then go speak to the person face to face, if you can't then pray for them. And I believe that is much more useful rather than ruining people's reputaions.

Thing is, has anyone seen him? Do they have four eye witnesses? The Quraan said so did it not? Yeah concerning Zina (man and woman having unlawful or sex out of marriage) but it is the same concept. I don't like the media much. And I sure do not like the scandals they make about people. We are advised in Islam not to speak of one another ill, imagine this!

I am not defending MJ, but at the same time am not in the position to say he is guilty. I really try to take very good care when things are that sensitive, God's wrath and vengeance is great where issues of back biting and scandals are concerned. Moslem or no Moslem, we should not speak ill of people. As best as we can. Besides, it happens on such a large scale in the United States.. All the rich and famous are practically stalked down by the paparazzis. They can't go out and not be chased by them. Sometimes the chases are even life threatening and get violent!

MJ has a Moslem brother. Iman and hedaya could be a motive; I pray they are, why not? Why not give the man a chance to do some thing good. God knows maybe what he is doing will be the cause of his hedaya... Of his repentance for what ever sins he has.

I just strongly believe that good and bad deeds are an issue between man and his creator... Instead of mocking people and speaking ill of them, what surrounding people should really do is try to be of positive impact by prayers and offering good advice when possible. We must be open to goodness and encourage it instead of mocking it and being of negative impact.

Wallaho A3lam!

Friday

2005-11-27T02:38:00.000+02:00

Today (Friday) was a nice but exhausting day. Ulysse, Omar and I went to visit family friends. Hisham, Julia and Emad (Doudi their son).

We were supposed to go early for the kids to enjoy the sun, but as usual I was late for many reasons. I had really missed their company since they were in Romania for some months and when they came back I was out of town, then dad's health crisis.

Hisham is an old and dear friend of mine. I was introduced to his wife, Julia, the summer before last. However we did not really mingle except during this last summer. Julia is Romanian. She is a great person. She is so kind hearted and sweet.

Omar and Doudi had their moments, some fight free, and some too loving and warm! Doudi kept hugging Omar, but his hug is somewhat different than the normal hug! He actually hugs wrapping both arms around the neck and squeezes tight! Hehe… Kids!

Omar and Doudi have a 4 months difference between them, Doudi being older, born August 25th. His birthday was celebrated in Romania with his mother's parents, family and friends… Omar still to celebrate insha'Allah on January 1st. He will turn three.

We managed to make it at their place at around 3 p.m so there was still some sun light and warmth around. We had a nice day and later on Hisham's parents, sister and her husband joined. It was an enjoyable gathering. They're all such a lovely family. Only I had started getting edgy around five thirty p.m. I was thinking of Sam almost all the time. At the same time, I really wanted to enjoy my time and to relax. I told Julia we would leave maximum by 7 p.m. Each time I told Omar lets get ready to leave he would run away from me. I cannot blame him, he was having a good time, running around in the garden, then going in and playing indoors then back out again and so forth. Even though he and Doudi quarreled a bit every now and then, but it still seemed enjoyable for him.

I really feel comfortable around this family. Julia, like me, is easy going and simple. Hisham has a nice nature of being friendly and hospitable. Doudi is adorable!

Julia and I didn't get to sit down much. We had to chase the kids around and sometimes we had to run to unwrap their arms from around one another as they argued and got physical about something, what is funny a little while after a fight they would be hugging or kissing one another or something… But all in all it was still nice. Julia and I both keep wishing those two rug rats would grow up a bit, to enable us to be a bit free from chasing them around all the time and giving them the excess attention they need at this age. Pheww.. boy was I really tired. And what made me more alarmed all the time was the swimming pool. I had to be extra cautious for Omar not to fall in.. He sometimes walks or even runs not really paying attention to where he is going! It drives me out of my wits when he does that1

We did not want to leave, and both Julia and Hisham were asking us to stay longer, but I explained what our plan was, going to dad and all.

I was unable to stop thinking of dad. I thought I could relax, but actually the kid chases did not help much (not that I'm complaining it is my duty). Julia asked me a couple of times what the matter was, I hope she did not think any thing was wrong where she is concerned, but I explained to her anyway.

I do wish I could have been more relaxed but I could not help it.

I pray I live long enough to see Omar and Emad walking together as young decent men. This family is one I wish I can grow old having in my life.

I dropped Omar at mom's place then went to dad. We arrived at his place at almost 9:20 p.m.

He was expecting Omar, but I knew I would not be able to sit with dad for a minute without having to attend to Omar and that was the main reason I asked mom if I could drop him to her place. I told Dad I would bring Omar some other time and he was fine, but he looked some what tired.

I asked him if he would say some words, but I think he did not want to in front of Mohammed my cousin and Ulysse, which is understandable. He gets embarrassed, so Ulysse and Mohammed gladly and understandingly said they would go upstairs to the balcony. I then asked dad if he would like to do some writing practice and speech practice with me, and he gladly agreed.

I got the notebook, and started with him. But before that I asked him to say my name and he did. Today I was feeling so weak inside. It is so difficult for me to work with dad and to hear him try so hard to bring a word or name out. Astaghfiru Allah (I seek forgiveness from Allah).

He said my name, I almost cried but held my tears back and kept my very artificial brave face and tone of voice, but knelt and kissed him and hugged him warmly. We started, but today I worked on his memory and on numbers and dates. It was not all right, but considerably well al hamd Lillah.

I touched his hand by accident and found them very cold. I felt he was exerting a massive effort so I told him we would stop for now and resume later. I told him I would go upstairs. On the way, my eyes were filling with tears, so I rushed up faster and headed to the balcony when my hubby and cousin were at.

They spoke to me as I lit a cigarette but I could not speak. My voice was trapped. They got alarmed but I managed to tell them not to worry. Then a tear amongst the many restrained one came down as I was barely able to speak. I held the rest back, but I did tremble inside.

I felt so bad for Sam but very grateful to Allah at the same time...I know it could have been worse, but I'm human, I get weak and emotional.

I told them his hands were very cold from the effort he was exerting and the tension I guess. Dad does his practice happily with me, but I know it is not easy for him. He is determined to do well, I can see it in his eyes, and at the same time I see the sadness, but there is faith behind all that, and I thank God for that.

Tonight my step mother brought up the subject of taking an appointment. Dad was less resistant but still not happy hearing the matter. I do pray he does not refuse seeing the doctor.

I finished my talk with hubby and Mohammed and asked them to come down after a while so we can all sit with dad and taunt Sonia for a while then leave since it was getting late.

I went down and dad was heading to his bedroom. I asked him to say where he was going and he faintly said to the bathroom. I told him ok and that I was glad to hear from him were he was heading. I was happy yet tonight I was really weak inside for some reason. I tried hard not to show it to Sam nor taunt Sonya. They both need all the support possible. Taunt Sonya is doing every thing she can.

I pray God blesses her, gives her the strength and protects her health too. I do love that woman, she loves dad a lot and she loves my sisters and I as well. I know that for sure. I tend to always evaluate people from their good sides, which she posses a lot of, regardless of other things.

I held her tight and told her I loved her. Then dad walked out and I asked him for a group hug... A little while later he wanted to go to sleep so I went in with him to do some duaa's and to do the rakwa (some prayers advised by Prophet Muhammed). He knew what I was going to do, so he pulled my hand and placed it over his forehead, as if looking forward to it. Again a confirmation it brings comfort to him. There was something sweet my aunt had made called goulash.. It was on the dressing table and he was supposed to have a piece but was in bed tucked in. After I finished the duaa I went out to do something intending to walk in to hand him a piece, when I walked back in, I was asking: do u want goulash? He was giggling, and I realized he had helped himself to a piece already. The message I got from his eyes and laughter was "do u think I would have waited? I already helped myself to it!"

It was a nice closure to the evening with dad. I left him laughing, I pray always insha'Allah. I felt happy he was happy.

On my side, I left with a mixture of feelings of pain and sadness but also happiness for him as well. The pain I feel, does not go away, to the extent I sometimes feel physically weak! It is difficult seeing someone u love so dearly going through a hard time.

My prayers go to all other people suffering any sort of pain. I pray God helps us all to get through this.

2005-11-22T02:12:00.000+02:00

The photo above should make the choice easier,

so which one do you think is Sam now?

This was one of the photos I mentioned I took with me to the hospital. This was the one with the deep, positive impact on dad and his sisters (so they said). I'm glad I took it there.

Please cope with my "father" obsession these days. I know I will have nothing much to offer or talk about but dad and things connected to him. I know this is one of the ways (after prayers and resorting to God) that will help me cope with what I have at hand. I do know other people are suffering worse conditions and I thank God for every thing we are able to do for Sam.

Dad's condition is much better than many others. And we are lucky to be able to handle many things other people cannot for many reasons. That alone is a blessing.

I still pray for others. I still did not and will not forget the people suffering out there. I feel thankful to God for granting us so many blessings that those poor people don't even have access to, not even with money! But it is my weakness, I am aware of it, and posting about it, is one of the ways I feel is helping me to maintain my steadiness. Do not underestimate what you people are doing for me. It means a great deal for me and your prayers are very important for Dad, me, my sisters, aunts and step mom.

You lovely hearts have been and still are a great source of support. I must admit, reading your comments has helped and still does a great deal.

Your support means so much to me and I thank all of u, and will continue to thank you each time I read any of your comments. I appreciate them more than any of you can imagine.

Update on my Sam

2005-11-19T02:16:00.000+02:00

Al hamd Lillah (Thank God for every thing), here goes.

First of all I want to thank all of you out there for all your prayers. They have all served us well. This situation I am going through has really proven that there is so much good out there (not that I ever doubted that). That has always been my belief. All of you have lovely hearts and souls.

Believe it or not, you have all been with me throughout this period. I felt comfortable knowing that all of you are praying for Sam and for me and my family.

There was one day when I felt real weary, so I had a blood pressure check up at the hospital, it was 100/50! The nurse was staring at me funny before she told me of the blood pressure level, and I was smiling at her. She asked if I was feeling ok, with a smile, I said a bit weary but fine. She said she did not know how I was still managing to stay on my feet. I thought to myself, I guess it is the blessing and power of God and your prayers that were helping. I smiled again at her, thanked her and walked out.

Dad was having a terrible time at the ICU. He had this tube connected to his bladder so he would not have to keep walking to the bathroom much, a catheter, I was told, In Arabic referred to as Astara.

Any way, I had that when I delivered Omar and it was very annoying. One morning, my step mother walked in the intensive care and freaked out. Dad was covered in blood! What was annoying is that no one had noticed (negligence!).

My step mom was freaking out of course (she freaks out from anything anyway, it’s her nature, imagine the bleeding situation!). Dad had pulled the catheter tube out (so the nurses claimed) and of course injured himself. That was something neither he nor us needed at this time at all. The catheter was to be removed, but that gave the doctors no choice but to keep it connected till the bleeding would stop, and dad was furious of course. All he wanted was OUT OUT OUT! Not just out of the ICU but out of the entire hospital which was out of the question at that stage.

I still do not understand what exactly happened but Sam was continuously furious with the nurses in the ICU for some reason. Maybe his inability to communicate and probably the negligence he was experiencing. For him to know and us to wonder! God Knows. That was also frustrating us too since we did not want him to be irritable, which was his case most of the time while in the ICU.

Earlier he had a high temperature and my step mom was the one who measured the temperature. It was not even recorded in his chart!

I politely gave them a piece of my mind! The negligence was always keeping us checking on him all the time. I was practically going back and forth almost all the time, so were dad’s sisters and his wife. Despite all these negative aspects, there was something good; his irritability showed his sense of awareness was good, which was a positive sign.

There was one thing I continuously did and I realized it comforted him and made him sleep. There are some prayers that have been encouraged for pain relief and for healing by Prophet Muhammad (Allahoma Saly 3aleih).

I kept using them a lot for him. One of them should be said while placing the right hand over the inflicted area. It worked with my grandmother miraculously and with me as well. The trick is to really believe that the healing power is solely from Allah. That I did and still do each time I see him.

He always tilted his head towards me, which indicated and confirmed my belief that it comforted him. He usually fell asleep or calmed down while I was at it.

Sam is the type that hates doctors and hospitals a lot. That I’m sure we all hate, but for him it is a great deal. He is just excessively negative where doctor visits are concerned in general and that is not good.

Before Sam had the Infarction, he had given my husband two photos he was very fond of and was excited to find. One of them was of him and his parents, brother (who passed away at age 42 or 43), and his two sisters. The other, of his parents alone. He wanted Ulysse to enlarge them for him. Ulysse had enlarged them and they were at my place.

I thought if I took them over they might cheer him up. So I took them with me and went to the hospital. I went and he had just been released from the ICU to a room in the hospital. When I arrived he was on his way from the ICU to his room. Boy was he relieved! He had a big smile on his face. When he went into the room, the photos were in a plastic file on top of a bouquet of flowers.

I cannot describe the happiness on his face. I never thought that they would make him this happy, so I told him I will go put them in frames and place them next to him. He did not want to let go of them, but I told him again. So he did. When I was back with the pictures in the frames he was so happy. He kept staring at them for a long time, then looked at us and smiled gladly. My aunts also said they made them very happy. I was so glad I came up with something to make dad and his sisters and wife also happy.

Dad’s doctor came by and gave him a check up and said he was doing ok. But he said he would need a speech therapist to work with him on a frequent basis. As he left he told dad he wanted him to stay till Thursday (Nov.17th, he had been in the hospital since Tuesday November 10th). That I felt was essential, but dad of course no.

Dad became very upset, he would not react with any of us, nor would he take his medications, NOTHING. Nothing but an extremely upset, disappointed and frustrated face. He went on strike. He was also supposed to have an echo (heart check up) because his wife mentioned that as he walked to the bathroom and back he had a chest pain.

He got upset she had brought that up. He did not want anything to be brought up that might end up making him staying any longer at the hospital. But what can we do? We had to tell the doctors of anything odd we noticed, it is for his own good, but to him no.

Well, my Leo dad, stayed on strike all evening, would not eat, drink or let a nurse or doctor come near him. But in the morning they managed to do the echo on his heart and thank God it was fine. In all cases he insisted to leave and that he got. His neurologist came by in the morning and my step mom told him of the strike and that she does not want to make him stay any longer, so he had no choice but to sign the release papers.

He was so happy to leave. Dad is home now. But no speech yet and no writing. He is aware of many things, but there is something still missing. He is depressed he cannot communicate and is not going to work. I feel bad for him, but Al hamd Lillah, it could’ve been worse!

One thing my dad never leaves out or left out throughout his entire life are his daily prayers, which does indicate there is something missing out from his sense of awareness. He used to go out during snow blizzards in London for the Friday prayers when he was living in England. What I mean is, nothing stopped him from praying before, and this last Ramadan he would insist on standing up during the Tarawee7 prayers (extra prayers performed after the Evening prayers only in Ramadan in the mosque).

My step mom brought it up once, and left his room, came back and found him praying the noon prayer. We all rejoiced. God knows if he remembered the Verses and performed it correctly or not. But it was something good. Second day, no prayers at all. He did not want to leave his room at all which was the case since he left the hospital.

One thing that does bother me is my step mother’s over protection plus the excessive panic she is always at that leads her to succumb to his will even if it is not in his favor.

I had a long talk with his neurologist and he said we need to hire a speech therapist as soon as he leaves... Nell … We need to encourage him to write… Nell. We need to let him practice his daily life in a normal fashion… Nell.

The other day Sam got up and got a jar of water to water the plants and his wife told him not to, because she feared he would get dizzy!!?? I do know for fact he did not like that. Over protection will not help him. It will only make him feel crippled! The right thing I believe was to let him do it while standing by his side just incase he got dizzy, but not to tell him not to do it.

In the evening when me and my sister passed by he was really down, also had a strange frown on his face, not smiling nor reacting with us as he used to. I felt really down. I asked him if he was upset cause we are not by his side as often as we used to at the hospital, and I continued telling him that we want to be there all the time but can’t because we do not want to invade their privacy.

The fact and the matter is we cannot go there as often as we want to … long and complicated story. But as I spoke to Sam, I put it as best as I could, because I cannot tell him we were told to go at certain hours. And the other thing is, she said something that really bothered me the other day. She said, please do not get upset but I don’t want you (addressing me) to speak to the doctor much, I should do that because I’m the one responsible for Sam.

Honestly, it did bother me. I just did not comment much. I do know she is the one living with dad and that she is the one with him most of the time, but still that does not mean I cannot speak to the doctor about his case or say my opinion openly. In all cases, I tend to give her as much space as I can. Dad is all she has got. She does of course have her sisters and brothers, but she was never blessed with kids. And I try not to bother her, because she is a kind woman, with negative sides just like anyone, but she should have not said that to me. I’m his daughter (eldest) and I do have the right to speak to the doctor.

The other thing I do not like at all is this over protection. The doctor himself told me that it is not right at all in his case.

Today when I went, he was in a better mood. A neighbor of ours went to visit him; he is one of the sweetest people in our building. He told him he would pray with him and they did. Sam was in a good mood thank God the remainder of the day; till he was told that tomorrow he would have to go to visit the doctor.

That made him upset, why? No one has a clue. My aunt called my uncle, who is also a doctor and told him. So, he tried to explain to dad over the phone that it is a must that he goes, but of course he did not know what dad’s reaction was, but it was assumed negative.

A little while earlier, mom had fainted!! Today was quite a messy day! I am blessed with two very stubborn and negligent parents where health issues are concerned. Mom is obsessed with keeping her weight constantly lower than average, and she is always on diet! And dad hates doctors and is not good at controlling his temper and worrying.

Mom was ok later on but still a bit weary. She has been fasting for some months before Ramadan, and also now! And her diet sucks! I practically beg her sometimes to stop this odd way of living, but in vain.

And where dad is concerned, I always kept telling him not to get so upset over the slightest things and stop worrying excessively about issues, but also in vain. I know it is sometimes nature, but I believe that we can all refine our natures to some extent, especially if we are told that they may negatively affect our health. We can never change completely but refinement does work if we practice.

When I went tonight, he pointed out to his mustache, that he trimmed it and was smiling. I was happy he was doing things he is used to. I asked him to go out of the bedroom to sit outside with us. He agreed. I was so happy. He reached to the remote control of the television and shut it off. Again a good sign he is himself to a great extent. Organized. He then placed the scissors kit into the drawer where he keeps them, placed the remote control in its place and walked out with me. I was really happy he did that. Later on came one of my uncles and he was happy to see him.

Hhhhuuuh (real long sigh).

I still ask you to kindly keep praying for Sam. God knows how long he will stay like this. Please pray for him to talk soon. To smile and laugh from his heart again. Pray that his blood pressure does not cause any further complications and that he gives in a bit to the doctor visits! I really want to hear his voice again. To hear him whistling to his birds and talking to them while feeding them as he used to. I miss Sam’s voice. Al hamd Lillah.

Please pray for mom to be alright, she also has heart problems and that was my main concern this evening. She was admitted in the hospital a few years ago and last winter she had beginnings of heart angina.

Finally, please please please pray for me. I have so many things that need to be sorted out and taken care of.

Tomorrow will be a difficult day, unless if Sam does not give us all a hard time to get dressed to go to the doctor. We cannot drag him to go. I did have a talk with him tonight, and told him that he has nothing to worry about. It is not like the doctor will admit him into the hospital again (God Forbid). I told him that it is for his own good. We are all trying to tell him. I don’t know if dad is worried that maybe the doctor will admit him to the hospital again or not, but insha’Allah (God willing) that will not be the case, but I told him he has to go anyway and that it is for his own good.
Sometimes I feel that his wife’s paranoia upsets him badly. I sometimes feel she is giving us false impressions due to this paranoia. Sometimes I even doubt she understands him. It did happen on several occasions while we were at the hospital.

In all cases I pray he gives in tomorrow and goes. We all need to know what the doctor will say about his current status and what should be done during this coming period. Plus he needs to have a brain scan since he did not do it when he was leaving the hospital (again, one of the reasons that I was really upset because of my step mother’s over protection, since she will let dad do what he wants just not to upset him). I know she cares a lot for him, but sometimes we should not give in to certain things especially if they are health concerned.

I also pray she changes her cooking habits too because dad’s cholesterol level was not good at all! Again, she got defensive when I mentioned the types of food he eats. So I said what I wanted in the most diplomatic manner!

Boy am I in such a difficult situation.

I do not want to upset her or any one, but some things are really getting on my nerves!

Anyway, I’m really glad I have you people by my side. Thank you for all your warm wishes and prayers. I cannot thank all of you enough. You’ve all been a great source of support.

I’m so sorry if this was so long for u to read, but I wanted to share with you all what was happening.

Don’t forget me in your prayers! I am very exhausted mentally and physically. Al hamd Lillah anyway. There are people in worse situations.

My prayers for the people of Pakistan, Kashmir, Palestine, Iraq, New Orleans, Amman-Jordan and any other spot where anyone is going through any difficulty whatsoever Especially Pakistan during this time.

Semsem

2005-11-11T00:22:00.000+02:00

Sami Mostafa (I call him Semsem and sometimes SAM)

My beloved father.

One of the kindest people you can ever meet, not because he is my father, but because he truely is. His excess innocence and kindness has led him to hurt so much.

Too straight, thinks every one is decent, thinks evrything should be right which is not the case in so many things in life, he gets shocked from so many things, cannot help but get a high blood pressure almost all the time! He loves working and being productive. He is loved instantly by little kids, something I've also been blessed with ..hehe. He is loved and respected by others more than you can imagine, hated by people who are concerned about personal gain, since he will not agree to what they do or agree to what they do and says it openly. Other than that, all he wants is to live in peace and let others live.

His tears can come down easily, lately, his eyes have been filling up with so many tears, but he holds them back. He is trying to stay strong. He is in shock because he cannot communicate with anyone what he wants and that is one of the things that raises his blood pressure. But i guess after a talk i had with him today, he might take it easy.. I told him he needs to be patient and that his case should not be a permenant one. He knows i only speak the truth. It shows badly if i do otherwise! He gave me three kisses today and nodded yes when i asked if he loved me!

I love him dearly, I pray he recovers soon, I pray God gives him patience, gives him courage, soothes his pain, and gives him peace and comfort.

I pray God gives me the strength to be of support to him, his wife to both my aunts. Dad, his wife and my aunts are all high blood pressure and diabetic patients.

I REALLY NEED GOD TO HELP ME TAKE CARE OF THEM ALL!

To all my friends on the blogosphere and anyone else, I cannot thank you enough. I love you all and appreciate the warmth and support i recieved through the comments of the previous post!

I need your prayers please!

2005-11-09T01:20:00.000+02:00

Please pray for my father. He is in the intensive care, suffereing Brain Infarction

(Galta in Arabic). The situation is quite complicated since he is a high blood pressure

and Diabetes patient. Too many details... I just really need your prayers please.

Jazakom Allaho Khayran (May God Reward You All)

Interesting... Can you raed tihs?

2005-11-08T02:30:00.000+02:00

I found the following quite interesting, try it out and tell me how it went.

Can you raed tihs?

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt
tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it
wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos
not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was
ipmorantt!

It's all a matter of the State of MIND, HEART and SOUL

2005-10-31T03:52:00.000+02:00

Please do not forget Pakistan

2005-10-23T02:14:00.000+02:00

Kashmiri earthquake survivor Abdurrashid Mugal from remote Rashian village, unseen, holds his two-year-old daughter Asma as they wait for her to receive treatment in the devastated city of Muzaffarabad, Pakistan, Saturday. (AP/Burhan Ozbilici)

A Pakistani child stands near a tent at a camp for people made homeless by the October 8 earthquake, in Batgram, in the North West Frontier Province. Saudi Arabia launched a major drive to gather millions of dollars in donations for the victims of the massive earthquake in Pakistan.(AFP/Tariq Mahmood)

Pakistani earthquake survivors have dinner in a tent in Balakot, Pakistan, Saturday Oct. 22, 2005. The U.N. has appealed for more aid for victims of South Asia's massive Oct 8 earthquake, warning of another wave of deaths if survivors don't get shelter and food before the Himalayan winter comes. (AP Photo/Tomas Munita)

Please do not forget Pakistan. Those people are desperate for any help whatsoever. They will need lots of support in the days to come. Only God knows for how much longer.

Their situation will require ongoing support till they stand on their feet again. We need to send away anything we can every now and then.

Jazakom Allaho khayran.. May God reward you all for everything and anything, even if it is just a prayer.

Survival with Faith makes life worth living. Without it, life itself is meaningless

2005-10-16T05:58:00.001+02:00

Some people are put in very awkward situations… Predicaments I call them from which escape seems impossible. YET they thrive, they keep on trying and trying under the worst circumstances ever. Whilst others may simply become insane, or commit suicide!

We must give credit to people of Palestine. I cannot generalize and say they are flawless. Definitely some of them err. But I personally marvel at their persistence and tolerance.

A mother losses one child and sometimes maybe more to the merciless of the Israeli soldiers. Natural deaths are very difficult, but imagine loosing a child, a brother or sister or father or even a close friend at the hands of your enemy. And not only are they enemies, no, they are oppressors occupying a home land and moreover forcing their unjust, bizarre rules and bigotry over the Palestinians.

Today Amr Khaled, a Muslim preacher was talking about the Israa and Mi3raj of Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih). When Palestine and Al Aqsa mosque were brought up, the word RESPONSIBILITY was brought up in alignment with emphasis.

Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) told us that when Gabriel the Arc Angel asked him to walk into Al Aqsa, he saw many men. Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) asked who they were, Gabriel Answered they are the earlier prophets before you. A two Rak3a prayer was to take place. Imagine how important this meeting was and how important the location was and what it symbolized. It meant so much Amr Khaled emphasized. It meant so many things.

All the Prophets (3alihim Alsalam includeing Prophet Muhammed Allahoma Saly 3alih) awaited Gabriel to speak. He called to Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) and asked him to lead the prayers. That symbolized the equality and none prejudice all the prophets had for one another and for Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih). Also what role Allah himself had decided for Prophet Muhammed and that was through what Gabriel had asked him in accordance to Allah's commands to do by leading the other Prophets in prayer. It symbolized not only honor to Prophet Muhammed but giving him responsibility for many things, and what a cumbersome duty it was for him.

I cannot write now as well as Amr Khaled did with his organization and order of events (I am also unfortunately very short in time). Kindly visit http://www.amrkhaled.net/acategories/categories161.html for translation in English for his daily episodes of Ramadan 2005 "On the Path of the Beloved (Prophet Muhammed Allahoma Saly 3aleih). I think the episode will be titled Laylat al israa wal Miraaj because I think it still hasn't been published but will be very soon.

For those who do not know what kind of man Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) was, these episodes will tell you plenty about what kind of Prophet he was, instead of only hearing from the hateful side, at least give yourselves a chance to know the truth from our side. Or name it what you want, but at least you would have given the issue a fair chance to hear from both sides.

Not only was prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) given responsibility for spreading Justice and order to this world according to Allah's commandments, but so are we. We are all responsible for spreading Justice and enjoining peace amongst us. We should never fear to say what pleases God in the face of the tyrants. Remember, man is Allah's Caliph on earth. All mankind are. And that is why everyone shall be asked about time spent here on earth. How it was used. It is not possible that God created man just to eat, drink and have sex. There is definitely something more to our creation than spending it over our earthly desires.

Amr Also brought up a story about Mashitat Phira3awn, A hair dresser who believed in Allah and in Prophet Moses (3alihi alsalam) message. This woman was a believer, whose four children were thrown into the fire before her very eyes and she still said Allah is my lord and yours until she and her last loved one were both thrown into the fire together, and there was a miracle to the story also (if interested read the whole event on A.khaled's site). She was given high rank by God in the seven skies.

Motherhood! My god how hard it is. I always try to imagine if I were put in a similar situation, what would I do? Or any other situation where I would have to say something that is not true just to save my neck from the enemy of God and mankind! I just had that imagination between prayers again today about Omar, and I practically cried and asked God to strengthen me should I be put in such a situation, although I truly cannot imagine what would happen to me, and that is precisely why I keep asking to be strong, just incase.

Just the thought hurts me so much and makes me cry and shed tears. Imagine a mother actually in the situation.. Seeing her kid be killed, or dragged by those inhumane barbaric Zionists who seem to think or actually believe that they are above all.

Well , In konta kabeeran FALLAHO AKBAR. ALLAHO AKBAR.. ALLAHO AKBAR..

Should you (Zionists or anyone else for all God cares) think you are great, ALLAH IS GREATER. And boy is his justice going to hurt you. Hurt you at a time when no matter how much you cry for mercy, it shan't be granted. You shall be told, too late… too late. What happened to Mercy? What happened to equal and equitable justice amongst mankind? Really! Well God is just. I know He is. And I know he shall avenge the people who have been done wrong.

This world is just a small journey for all of us. What will truly count is the after life. I pray and beg forgiveness for my sins and for all believers and guidance for those astray. I love all mankind and wish every one truly wakes up. WE all have our weaknesses and faults, but there are major and minor sins. God is merciful indeed, but we should not misuse this forgiveness.

Never fear to say a word of integrity in the face of a tyrant. We shall all be asked what we did in such situations. Allah backs those who have mercy and compassion in their hearts. He blesses those who fear none but Him.

I tell myself this before any of you readers. I am full of faults. I am really trying.

Lets all pray for one another.

La illaha illa anta sub7anaka ina konna min al thalemeen. Faghfir lana war7amna ya Ra7eem.

Allah is one, glory be to him, we were amongst the wrong doers. Forgive us and have mercy on us for you are the Merciful.

Pakistan Earthquake (includes relife contacts)

2005-10-12T01:50:00.000+02:00

Al Hamdu Lillahi al lathy 3afana mima ibtala bihi katheeran min 3ebadihi wa fadalana 3ala katheeran min man khlaka tafdeela.

الحمد لله الذي عافانا مما ابتلى به كثيرا من عباده و فضلنا على كثيرا ممن خلق تفضيلا

Allahomma Ajerhoum, Allahoma 3afihoum, Allahoma Ir7amhoum war7amna be ra7matika wahdina ila al sirata al mostakeem. Allahoma ina thalmna anfosana, wa nathlem anfosna beda3fina, faghfir lana wa lil moe'meneen. Allahoma inaka kadir 3ala an tonhya al 7ayata 3ala wajih el ard wa ta2tya bekawmin to7ebhoum wa ye7ebounaka, walaken 3afiyataka wara7matuka wasi3at kol shay2. Ighfir lana wa ihdina, wa afikna min ghaflatina. Allahoma ina nashkou ilayaka da3fa noufesena, fa2a3ena 3alyha. Allahoma ajerna men da3fena, wa thalatina, wa nuqsani imanina, wa a3na 3ala 7osni 3badatika wa thikraka talama a7yaytana. Allahoma Ija3al akhira a3malina fiha reda wa kuboul. Allahoma la tometna ila wa2anta radin 3ana.

Allahoma la tometna ila wa2anta radin 3ana Allahoma la tometna ila wa2anta radin 3ana.. ameen ameen ameen.

اللهم أجرهم اللهم احفظهم اللهم ارحمهم وارحمنا برحمتك واهدنا الى الصراط المستقيم. اللهم انا ظلمنا انفسنا ونظلم انفسنا بضعفنا فاغفر لنا وللمؤمنين. اللهم انك قادر على أن تنهي الحياة على وجه الأرض وتأتي بقوم تحبهم ويحبونك ولكن عافيتك ورحمتك وسعت كل شيئ. إغفر لنا واهدنا وافقنا من غفلتنا. اللهم إنا نشكو إليك ضعف انفسنا فأعنا عليها. أللهم اجرنا من ضعفنا وذلاتنا ونقصان إيماننا و أعنا على حسن عبادتك وذكرك طالما أحييتنا. اللهم إجعل أخرأعمالنا فيها رضا وقبول.

اللهم لا تمتنا إلا و أنت راض عنا. اللهم لا تمتنا إلا و أنت راض عنا. اللهم لا تمتنا إلا و أنت راض عنا. أمين أمين أمين.

Oh Allah save them, protect and relieve them, Oh Allah have mercy on them and on us all with your mercy, guide us to the straight path. Oh Allah, we have done ourselves wrong and still do with our weaknesses, forgive us and the believers. Oh Allah you are capable of ending all life forms on earth and are capable of creating others that you shall love and they love you, but your mercy is bountiful. Forgive us and guide us, and wake us up from our negligence and stray. Oh Allah we seek your help from our souls' weaknesses, help us to overcome it, and our falls, and our weakness in faith, and help us to worship you and remember you always as long as we live. Oh Allah let our last deeds be in accordance to your acceptance. Oh Allah do not end our lives until you are pleased with us. Oh Allah do not end our lives until you are pleased with us. Oh Allah do not end our lives until you are pleased with us. Amen amen amen.

I personally cannot help but think, when will our turn come? Will it? Or is it just for us to wake up and realize how negligent we have become where the obedience and remembrance of Allah is concerned. Moslems have drifted so much from religion. We all have become so weak despite all what we have been told. What is sarcastic, is we have been told before hand of so many incidents and natural disasters that shall happen due to this negligence, and yet, we have not exerted the least effort to take what Allah and his prophet said seriously.

I once heard that one can change his destiny. We have been given choices in life. A road which will lead to Allah's anger and the other his blessings. In this case I mean knowing certain things and being given warnings, we have not tried to beware or work hard to avoid them. I guess we have just not taken it seriously enough. I do not know if this interpretation is true or not, but I kind of feel it is.

Maybe the reason God told Prophet Muhammed of these things was to test us, to see what we will make out of them. Will we try to avoid them? Or will we just take them for granted. Maybe it was out of the mercy of God that we were told, but maybe none of us properly understood the message. God repetitively referred to Himself as "the merciful" and that is what makes me say what I just did in the few lines above.

We have even been given supplications and prayers to use to protect ourselves from harm of others and for our own protection against weaknesses whether it be through Satan or the weak inner self. Question is, how many of us use them? Not to mention some people do not even know these supplications exist. Worst of all some do know but do not believe in them. Sub7an Allah. We humans are so fallible. I pray that we all do our best to be better people in the eyes of God.

Prophet Mohammed has told us of what is happening now, that it is one (amongst many) of the signs of the closeness of Judgment day. There are many signs, Major and Minor according to His teachings (Allahoma Saly wa salem 3elih), and many have already occurred and are still. I guess it is about time we start working hard.

I cannot help but always try to put myself in others situations. I cry. I sob. I feel heartache for all those people especially the children where ever the crises take place. Children Like my son, some younger, some same age, some older, men and women of all ages as well.

I have a heartache right now. I've been getting serious physical heart aches lately. So much has been happening!

I pray I personally be better. I know I am not good enough. Not ready enough for death. I get scared, I know God is kind, but that does not mean I or you get lazy and only count on that. I am trying but I know I should try harder, we all must try harder.

I am in so much pain right now. I thought I wanted to do something. The least was to post this.

ISLAMIC RELIEF PAKISTAN
6 A , Park Road F - 8 / 2 , Islamabad, Pakistan
Email: info@islamic-relief.org.pk

Donations can be deposited in any branch of Union Bank
ACCOUNT NO: 5801 - 499773 - 050
Union Bank Pakistan

UAN : ( 051 ) 111 237 237 ( Islamic Relief Pakistan )
http://www.islamic-relief.org.pk/donations.htm

Egyptian Red Crescent Society
Address
Abd El Razek Al Sanhoury StreetNasr City, 8th district7516 Cairo
Contact Information
Tel: (20) (2) 6703979/81/83 Fax: (20) (2) 6703967 E-Mail: mailto:erc@brainy1.ie-eg.com
Language of correspondence
English
People
President: H.E. Mrs Suzanne MOUBARAK Vice-President: H.E. Mrs Amina EL GUINDI Treasurer: Mrs Nazly KABIL Secretary General: Dr. Mamdouh GABR Director General: Mrs Hoda AHMED BARAKAT Chairman of International Relations Committee: Ambassador Omran EL SHAFEI
Last Updated
29.10.2003

http://www.ifrc.org/address/eg.asp

This site was aslo recommended by Roora a union called " Arab Medical Union " www.amu.org.eg in Egypt who are also making efforts to help the victims of the earthquake.

A Muslim man cries as he offers special prayers for the earthquake victims at the Jama Masjid in Srinagar, India, Tuesday, Oct. 11, 2005. Kashmir's highest Islamic leader Mirwaiz Omar Farooq Tuesday asked India and Pakistan not to play politics over the earthquake devastation and to launch a joint relief effort. (AP Photo/Rafiq Maqbool)

A newborn child sleeps with her mother in a makeshift tent at a relief camp in Poonch, 250 Km (156 miles) north west of the northern Indian city of Jammu October 10, 2005. Villagers trekking down from parts of the Kashmir mountains that have not been visited since the weekend's earthquake say they have left behind scenes of death and desperation. The official death toll from the quake at 7.6 magnitude the biggest to hit the region in a century remained at 21,000 in Pakistan and slightly over 1,200 in India. Picture taken October 10, 2005. REUTERS/Amit Gupta

An injured Kashmiri child sits on his father's lap as they wait to be sent to a hospital by helicopter in Muzaffarabad, capital of Pakistan-controlled Kashmir, October 10, 2005. Rescuers dug through the night on Monday in the hope of finding more survivors of the Pakistan earthquake, after it killed more than 20,000 people and buried hundreds alive in rubble. REUTERS/Ahmad Masood

You tell me!

2005-10-11T02:54:00.000+02:00

Tankers versus civilian "CHILDREN" Only those are no ordinary children, they are "Palestinian children".. hmm so someone tell me, does that make it alright.. Are they by any chance are cheap shots.. have no rights like all children in the world? Again, where is the UNICEF??? I wonder.
How about this? Interesting huh? Military against civilian, Palestinian civilian...

Woman standing aside unable to do anything but cry. Man beaten up by three armed men? Does this seem in any sense fair? What is this? Survival is for the fittest?
Three to one? and Three armed versus one unarmed?

Do Israeli children experience this? Where is the UNISEF??? I wonder!? What happened to Human rights? Or do human rights not apply to the Palestinians?

Confessions of a human bomb from Palestine by Hujayra al 'Arabi

2005-10-10T04:48:00.000+02:00

(Your Voice in a World where Zionism, Steel, and Fire haveturned Justice Mute)

Dear Readers of the Free Arab Voice, We are proud to present to you a penetrating piece that goes into the personal and political makings of a human bomb. Hujayra al ‘Arabi portrays the role of a human bomb in the offing to deliver a simple, yet very eloquent, message.

She makes no apologies for the state of mind our people have been driven into. Rather, she seeks to drive the point home by avoiding the third person.

It’s is I, the human bomb herself, who speaks to you now… Thus began Hujayra.. The Free Arab Voice

========================================================

To all our Martyrs, past, present and future:
Your Light cannot be extinguished

Confessions of a human bomb from Palestine
by Hujayra al 'Arabi
Dedicated to my brothers and sisters in Resistance in Iraq and in the Arab Nation

I do not want to die. I am not in love with death. I am not even 'half in love with easeful death' like the English poet. I want to live. I want to have a home filled with children, and I still want to be a doctor. From the age of about six, I dreamed of becoming a doctor, of being able to save lives. I wanted to do something real that would save the lives of my people.

And yet, I see now that there are many ways of saving lives and that taking lives can be a part of the process of saving lives. That is where I am now, preparing to take lives in order to save my people.

The enemy tries to say that human bombs are cowards, that we want to die, that we do this in order to go to a paradise where virgins will fulfill our every wish. Well, for a start, I can prove them wrong on the virgin issue. I am a woman, and I have no interest whatsoever in being pleasured by other virgins, thank you very much. The fact of the matter is that this is nothing more than stupid propaganda, like so many of the enemy's lies. The young men who become martyrs for our cause are not doing so in order to win virgins in the hereafter. Nor do we do this out of hatred for the enemy, although the hatred is a thousand times deserved. We do it for love of the homeland and for love of our people.

The Prophet Isa, Peace be upon him, said that there is no greater love than the love of a shepherd who is willing to lay down his life for his sheep. I agree that this is a very great act of love, and this is the act of love committed by every human bomb. We give our lives for our people, for our future, to try to turn a tide of destruction that threatens to sweep away not only our identity and heritage, but our very future. Sometimes engineers will use a bomb to attempt to change the course of a waterway. That is what the human bomb is doing, using a bomb to try to change the course of a terrible flood that day by day continues to sweep away our homes, our families and our hopes for any future. If we can make any impression at all upon this flood, if little by little, we can slow down its progress, force it into a different path and ultimately stop its flow completely, then we will have succeeded in a very great act of love.

One human bomb may be no more than a voice crying in the wilderness, but many human bombs can change the course of history, strip it of a hundred years of lies and deceit and bring the vision of a future back to Palestine.

Those who listen to the enemy propaganda should ask themselves one question: what does it take to make an ordinary boy or girl into a human bomb? In a different life, in ordinary circumstances, all of us could have been quite ordinary boys and girls. Do not mistake the human bomb for anything other than an ordinary human being forced by circumstance to act in an extraordinary fashion.

It is not easy to become a human bomb. When there is a choice between the high road and the low road, most will opt for the easier of the two. It is often easier for human nature to make excuses for betrayal and collaboration with the enemy than to face reality and know that integrity often requires the ultimate sacrifice.

It is a sad fact that the Zionists continue to be successful in hunting down the leaders of our resistance only because they are betrayed by our own people, by people whose vision is limited to the immediate situation or threat that confronts them. Even though some collaborators may be no more than people who fear for the safety of their families, or who are desperate for food and a safe shelter, collaboration is the ugliest and most despicable crime against our people. To aid the enemy, whether out of fear or greed is to BECOME the enemy. Furthermore, collaborators and those who do nothing whatsoever, trying to maintain a low profile in order to remain 'safe', must realise that there is no safe shelter as long as the enemy triumphs in our land. I will say it again: the crime of trading the life of your brother or sister for your own illusive safety is one of the worst, whatever its motivation. The man or woman who betrays a freedom fighter for gold or to save his or her skin deserves the punishment of death, for he or she has more power to harm our cause than our avowed enemy.

Cowards and collaborators must learn that it is far better to take the high road and meet death on our own terms than to cower in the shadows until the enemy drags us out to to the slaughter. The result, in physical terms, is the same, but how different the result in its effects upon others and upon the future!

My fiance used to quote an old Roman saying: 'Media tutissimus ibis', which means that the middle way is best.

He believed it as well and lived according to that belief. He saw good in all people and wanted to believe that, at the end of the day, NO MATTER WHAT, good would have to triumph against evil. He was willing to wait patiently for that day. In that sense, he embodied the old myth of 'oriental fatalism' which the Westerners loved to pretend gave them carte blanche to tear down cultures and civilisations throughout the world and superimpose their visions of glory upon the fabric of the universe.

Well, my dear Muhammad, you waited patiently as Zionist metal entered your eye and lung and leg. You waited patiently for the time when you would be allowed through the chequepoint to hospital... a time that did not come, while the wounds festered and finally rotted your flesh with gangrene. Your death was anything but clean. It was a death that is sadly typical of those who allow themselves to become the victims of oppressors.

Patience may be a virtue, but it has to be patience coupled with determination to win this war. Without that determination, we will cease to exist. It is as simple as that. We can wait patiently while they pick us off one by one, or we can go out to meet them.

I choose to go out to meet them. That is what being a human bomb is about. It is the last resort of those who have exhausted all other avenues. Justice is on our side. The law is on our side. Why then are we victims still? The fact is that the world has not listened to the voice of justice, nor to the voice of international law. It has not listened to the voice of compassion nor to any pleas for humanity. So finally we come to the voice that cannot be ignored: the voice of Immediate Death. The human bomb targets both the lives and the pocketbook of the enemy. The enemy has proven that it will remain deaf to us unless we threaten loss of their lives and loss of their profits.

I do not volunteer for this action to avenge my Muhammad. I do not do this to avenge any of our people who have suffered or died at the hands of the enemy. I do not do this for myself either. As I write this, I can see a letter written by my aunt in England, offering me a home and financial support for a chance to study medicine there. Unlike too many of my Palestinian brothers and sisters, my life is not restricted to the walls of the refugee camp. I have other options. In a way, it is precisely because I do have other options that I feel that my voice will be more emphatic when it explodes in the midst of the enemy. They cannot pretend that I have no reasons to live. They have not cornered me personally, but they have cornered us as a people and that is what counts at the end of the day.

Shall I go to England, to pursue my dream of saving the lives of some of our people, or should I stay here and pursue the reality of saving our future as a people? Being a Palestinian doctor is doing patchwork, darning and mending the rags of our existence over and over until, like all rags, they finally disintegrate and are thrown out onto the dustheap.

Our people must come to understand that the life of ANY individual must be subordinate to the cause of freedom from this Occupation. The value of any individual is not what is at issue; it is rather the value of our future as a people that must be supreme, overriding all other considerations in all of our hearts. What good is it to Palestine if any one of us prospers or survives if our people as a whole cease to exist? What good is the illusive freedom of one individual when the Palestinian people exist in conditions that are far worse than slavery? Unless we can act selflessly, for the good of the cause rather than pursuing individual goals and ambitions, our cause will fail.

The human bomb provides an example of that selflessness, demonstrating unequivocally that no life can be considered more valuable than the future of our people. The human bomb acts for all, not for himself or herself. 'Use me as a weapon of your will,' the human bomb declares. 'Let my life be sacrificed for the future of all our people.' This is emphatically not the act of some one committing suicide! Suicide is a selfish act, the act of some one who repudiates life and embraces death as a solution. The human bomb does not repudiate life at all. The human bomb embraces death as a comrade in arms, acting as a weapon for the cause of justice and freedom from Occupation.

Do I believe in the Hereafter? I honestly do not know what lies beyond this existence, because I am nothing more than a human being, whose understanding is limited to our life on this earth. I would like to believe. I do believe in God, and I believe that 'Inna lillahi wa inna illahi rajaoun' that we come from God and to God is our return, but as God is unknowable and unfathomable, so is His Will and any reality beyond this world is beyond my sight. As far as I am concerned, what counts most is what I do here and now. I want to perform the right action for the right reason, with honour and purity of intent. At this point in history, the best action is that taken by the human bomb.

Holy Qur'an states: 'Wa la taHsabanna alladhina qutillu fi Sabilillahi 'amwatan.' 'Do not think of those who are killed in the way of Allah as being dead.' To me, it is not of the hereafter alone that this verse speaks, but of the fact that the memory of a life sacrificed in the way of justice and truth never dies. It stands as an example to be followed, but more than that, it is an _expression of faith in our cause. If I and other human bombs are willing to die in this horrible fashion for our people, does that not prove that hope for our future cannot be lost?

To be killed 'fee Sabilillahi', 'in the way or path of Allah', is to die for selfless reasons, in my opinion. That is why the human bomb, along with our other heroic martyrs, is one who truly can be said to have been slain 'fee Sabilillahi', because he or she has been slain in the pursuit of justice and freedom from Occupation. Nor can it be considered suicide to launch oneself as a weapon AGAINST the enemy. The goal of the action of the human bomb is not his or her own death! The goal is to strike a resounding blow against the enemy. If our own deaths are required, then so be it, but we do not go out seeking our own deaths. Let that be very clear. The act of the human bomb is the ultimate act of protest against the extermination of our people.

If our people go to the slaughter without protest, we will cease to exist. Let the world look to the Zionist actions and see that, whatever fairytales they tell, their actions speak of the need to exterminate us, to wipe us off the face of the homeland. Their entire culture, religion and government is based upon a racist premise, that the Jew and only the Jew belongs on this land. Despite history, despite any reality that proves their premise unconscionable and unsupported by logic or reason, they do not falter in their goal. Look to it, World, for those who are not Jewish, be they Arab, Gentile or anything else, are not considered their equals and they are not by their morality or religion required to treat you as they do their fellow Jews. Until the Jew decides to join the human race, there can be no dealing of equal with equal. It is written in their Talmud.

Enough of them, though. I must prepare for the ultimate act of resistance against this Occupation and I will not go to my death with ugliness and brutality in my thoughts. I will think instead of the symphony of the sea beating against the rocks... of the perfume of wild thyme rising from sun-baked hills... of the olive tree heavy with fruit that my great grandfather planted but that exists now only in our memories... of my mother's smile, encompassing a world of hope veiled in tears... of the roses, vines and birds she embroidered on my throb... of the Tree of Life and mihrab door to heaven embroidered over my heart... the mystical homeland she created in red, white, green and black, the colours of our land Palestine.

They call us 'terrorists' but it is an absurdity to think that they, who hold the power of life and death over our entire people each and every day, could be terrorized by us. We have nothing but our determination and our willingness to make the ultimate sacrifice. Our bombs consist of a handful of nails propelled, along with our flesh and bones, by the crudest of explosives. They can and have shown that they are willing to reduce an entire city to rubble in a single day, and make thousands homeless. When they have all the technology that this new century holds, who is the real terrorist in Palestine or indeed, throughout the world?

Yet it is true that the enemy fears Death in a way that we do not fear it. After all, why should we fear to meet the One who created us? The Christians have a beautiful prayer: 'Hatta idha ajtaztu wadi dhilali al mawt, la akhafu suwan liannaka turafiquni.' God is the Comrade who never abandons us, even in the valley of the shadow of Death. It is not Death that I fear, but the silence of extinction. Death does not extinguish the flame of our existence. The crown of the Martyr by tradition is Immortality. It is not my own immortality that I seek but that of the cause of our people.

We are a strong people. We are steadfast. That is not enough to prevail against the machinery of Death that has been set in motion against us. The fact that we have survived a century of genocide speaks eloquently of our strength and steadfastness, but how much longer can we endure? Those who robbed us originally of our land die peacefully in their beds of old age, having spawned another two or three generations of robbers and thieves. Those offspring convince themselves that they bear no responsibility for the continuing deprivation of our people as they invite more robbers into our homeland, while herding more of our people over the bridge to exile. They will not listen to the voice of justice. They speak of 'peace' when they have made the word an obscenity.

Salaam is not simply peace. Salaam is peace with justice. When true peace exists, all is right with the world. When true peace exists, justice has been served and people do not live as slaves or on mere sufferance under an oppressive and foreign occupation. Do not speak to us of your counterfeit Peace. Salaam is peace but it must be won now through sacrifice. I go now to win that Peace for Palestine.

Palestinian Resistence Shall Continue

2005-10-10T03:52:00.000+02:00

I have been provided with a link from a relative of mine, and was told I might be interested.

As a matter of fact its contents were very similar to a famous Egyptian Neurologist and psychiatrist opinion of the human bombers in "Palestine". Many Scholars have differed on the opinion whilst many more agreed that they are martyrs since they are in a state of war and self defense. Also a respected Egyptian Neurologist and psychiatrist explained why they are true martyrs. Dr. Adel Sadiq May his soul rest in peace. He provided answers from books he studied in the United States of America, and questioned one thing. How could this material be taught and yet contradicted at the same time by American Officials? What he spoke of is what you shall read in the post to follow, only written by the human bomb herself.

This is the opinion I personally totally agree to, that of the scholars who are in favor of what the human bombers of Palestine are doing and that of Dr. Sadiq's .

I wanted to share it with you readers. Regardless of being Arab and Moslem, being Free and living with dignity is the reason why I have decided to publish the post to follow.

A letter written by a Human bomb herself, Hujayra al 'Arabi. It was also very similar to other women bombers video taped messages.

I look up to these people. I look up to those who live and die with dignity and freedom. I look up to those who will do anything to free their land of the Zionists' occupation to Palestine. Palestine will go back to its people eventually. And even if it doesn't soon, they shall never stop doing what they can to free their lands and gain them back.

It is worth mentioning that Zionists are truly cowards in my and many other people's opinions. They are not even compatible with the Palestinians in this war for freedom. They deny them weapons while they have heavy machinery. And yet are unable to stop the resistance, and live in fear. And will continue to live in fear as long as they choose to remain as they are… Theives!

The reason being, the Palestinians are justified. The Palestinians Have what the Zionists don't have. They have Faith in God and dignity. And they are not thieves.

Ramadan Kareem

2005-10-05T02:21:00.000+02:00

Ramadan Kareem all you Moslems out there!

I pray this Ramadan joins us all with love, prayers of forgiveness for ourselves and one another, prayers for hedaya (guidance to the right path) for all mankind and ourselves, prayers of reliefe for those in distress where ever they may be.

Prayers for us all to be in peace everywhere and with everyone. Prayers that we never be the ones to start aggression or make wars. Prayers that Islam be understood by non Moslems and Moslems who really do not. Prayers for all oppressed Moslems and Others. Prayers for us to understand why we are Moslems and what is required from us to truly deserve this description. Prayers for those who are sick to get well. Ameen Ameen Ameen

Dalulla's Birthday

2005-09-29T16:45:00.002+03:00

hey everybody.... it is dalulla's birthday today! She is 31, but she looks more like 17.

have a great day Dalulla and save us some cake :)

Iraq Invasion List!?

2005-09-28T02:16:00.000+03:00

Iraq/War On Terror

The president has offered no timeline for withdrawing U.S. forces from Iraq, saying he intends to maintain a U.S. presence there until the country is stable and run by a democratically elected government.

He plans to seek additional help from other countries in securing Iraq while it is rebuilt, and has ruled out instituting a draft to bolster the U.S. military should the situation worsen or drag on.

Amid the uncertainty in Iraq, it is not clear whether Mr. Bush will devote a greater share of his second-term attention to the worldwide dragnet for Osama bin Laden.

It is hard to estimate the long-term costs of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, but 2004's expenses alone may approach $100 billion.

source: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/09/27/opinion/main886895.shtml

I just do not understand, what's in it for the United States' citizens if Iraq or Afghanistan or any other country is stable or not? Why do all of these Americans soldiers have to be there instead of doing something "constructive" with their lives? Why are their lives being sacrificed like this? And moreover Bush wants to drag in other countries as well? Phewww!

Weren't the American people better off with the $100 billion in their own country? ???

Why can't Bush pay more attention to his own internal affairs? To his country's economy instead of this wild goose chase where plenty of money is being trashed and worst of all valuable lives both from the American side and the Iraqi's (no money will ever compensate anyone for their kin's injuries. Let alone lives!).

God knows how much more will be spent? How many more lives spared from both sides? Till when? WHY?

Honestly for what reason is all this happening? 9/11 I assume? Is it really worth all this? Or are there other reasons?

Has anyone convinced this man that he is ruling the world? Someone please enlighten me. Otherwise, what's really in it for him? He is becoming infamous in many parts around the world, so it cannot possibly be fame.

Please check this article out: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/09/27/opinion/main886895.shtml

Katrina and Rita are sure not getting his attention much. Perhaps a "MIGHTY ZEUS" would? But I sure hope not for the sake of the American people.

Protocols of The Elders of Zion, Responsibility of 9/11 incident and fianlly Does the State of Israel have the right to exist?

2005-09-26T04:32:00.000+03:00

Peace be on all you people out there. This is a comment in response to Mr. Elstevo, a commentator or Flanstein's Blog. The comments are about the Post Islam – evil on a stick.

Please feel free to check out the post and the post before it titled The mind of a Moslem, whatever that meant!!!!!

(http://flanstein.blogspot.com/ - Post titled Islam – evil on a stick and also connected to the post "The mind of a Moslem")

Elstevo said
Since you never actually anwsered ANY of Flanstein's claims, let ME ask three simple questions:

Dalulla said
I do not think you read my comments thoroughly because I did answer and had questions myself that none were answered to, not by Flanstein nor anyone else.

Elstevo said
What do you think of The Protocols of The Elders of Zion?

Dalulla said
These protocols are not something that the Arabs or Moslems invented, as a matter of fact were invented or discovered by the Europeans.

Kindly read, this is something I copied out for you from a site off the net. Reference: http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mzionprotocol.html
(I do not fully agree to it but will explain later).

"The Protocols are the classic statement of the old notion of an international Jewish conspiracy. They purport to be the text of discussions showing how Jews planned to take over the world and enslave non-Jews. They've long been an excuse to persecute Jews and have been promoted by many famous and powerful people, including some in the U.S.

In 1920, Henry Ford started a newspaper for the purpose of attacking Jews and communists. His paper, the Dearborn Independent, "printed every conceivable staple of contemporary anti-Semitism, including the Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion" (A Legacy of Hate: Anti-Semitism in America, by Ernest Volkman, p. 33).

A U.S. Congressman, Hamilton Fish of New York, once used his office to distribute copies of the Protocols. Accused of anti-Semitism, he responded, "It doesn't bother me any. There's been too much Jewism going around anyway." He was defeated in his 1944 re-election bid (A Legacy of Hate, p. 42).

Where did the Protocols come from? Binjamin Segel's book (translated and edited by Richard S. Levy), A Lie and a Libel: The History of the ''Protocols of the Elders of Zion'' begins with a likely timeline. According to Segel, the Protocols were most likely fabricated in Paris between 1897 and 1899 under the supervision of the head of the Russian secret police abroad, Pyotr Ivanovich Rachkovsky. The intent was "to strengthen the czar Nicholas II's position by exposing his opponents as allies with those who were part of a massive conspiracy to take over the world" (Skeptic's Dictionary, http://skepdic.com/protocols.html.)

The first known publication of the Protocols was August 26-September 3, 1903, when they appeared in abbreviated form in the Russian language paper Znamia ("The Banner"). In 1905, Sergei Nilus published the "full" version as an appendix to his book Velikoe v Malom ("The Great in the Small"). In 1906, another version was published by G. Butmi in his book Vragi Roda Chelovecheskago ("Enemies of the Human Race").

In 1917, Nilus, who had already published the Protocols two more times, produced yet another edition, this time attributing them to Theodor Herzl (1860-1904), the founder of modern political Zionism, i.e., Jewish nationalism.

In 1919, anti-communist Russians distributed copies of the Protocols to members of the U.S. cabinet, judiciary, and intelligence agencies. Henry Ford's edition appeared in 1920, as I said, and the document received attention in the British press as well. Thirty-three editions are known to have appeared by 1933.

In 1921, a reporter for the Times of London, Philip Graves, found that the Protocols had been plagiarized. As it turned out, there were two sources: Dialogue between Machiavelli and Montesquieu in Hell, an 1864 satire of the French ruler Napoleon III by Parisian lawyer Maurice Joly, and Biarritz, an 1868 novel by German anti-Semite Hermann Goedsche.

Goedsche is credited with developing the whole “Jewish plan of world conquest” idea. Biarritz features a chapter, “In the Jewish Cemetery of Prague,” in which the princes of the twelve tribes of Israel gather at the cemetery to report the progress of their world takeover schemes. As Segel said in A Lie and a Libel, “The plot bore such a striking resemblance to the one developed in the Protocols that any reasonable person must conclude that either both were written by the same man or one was plagiarized from the other” (emphasis in original).
Segel continues: “Thus the world-conquering plans of the Elders of Zion came out of Goedsche’s trashy novel. But the Elders’ political dogmas and schemes, as well as the moral principles that were their foundation, came almost word for word from the speeches of Machiavelli in Joly’s petty satire on Napoleon III.”

Graves debunked the Protocols in the Times, the first in a long series of refutations. Among others, a South African court ruled them a forgery and a Swiss court declared them a fraud.
Faced with the facts, some early promoters of the Protocols repented. Henry Ford published the Protocols along with his other anti-Semitic articles in a book entitled The International Jew: The World's Foremost Problem. But in 1927, he publicly retracted and apologized for the book, claiming his assistants had duped him.

But Ford was the exception. Others continued to publish the Protocols in other countries long after they'd been debunked.

A few even managed to explain away the evidence of plagiarism. Segel relates that Lord Alfred Douglas, an anti-Semitic leader in London, said that Joly was actually a Jew originally named Moses Joel, who interwove the real Jewish plan for world conquest into his satire. This meant that showing the Protocols were extremely similar to his satire proved nothing--of course they were, because they both were talking about the same real event!

The truth is, the Protocols were a useful weapon against the Jews, and those who propagated them in all likelihood didn't care if they were true or not. In 1933, excerpts were read at the Romanian parliament by Fascists as a reason to expel Jews from the country. Hitler cited them in Mein Kampf and again when castigating the Jews as warmongers in 1939. Franco cited the Protocols in his denunciations of the Jews as well.

You'd think the Protocols might have been put to rest after World War II and the Holocaust, but no. Communists in the Soviet Union used the Protocols to stir up anti-Jewish sentiment, and they continued to be circulated around the world. Segel's timeline continues all the way up to 1994 (his book was published in 1995), when an Australian edition was produced by Christian fundamentalists.

Dalulla said
I would like to bring up something. The definition of "a rumor".
Rumor: an assertion or set of assertions widely repeated though its truth is unconfirmed by facts or evidence.

"A rumor goes in one ear and out many mouths," reads an ancient Chinese proverb. In the original Latin, "rumor" was a synonym for "noise." Rumors, gossip and hearsay have long been regarded — and derided — as forms of idle, destructive chatter.

Though unreliable by their very nature, rumors can prove to be true, however. "Rumor is not always wrong," noted Tacitus, the Roman historian. The crux of the matter isn't truth value per se, but the absence of verification.

All this fuss about the Protocols of Elder Zion may have a truth in it. But there is part which I do know is fact.

Please note the following:

Where I am concerned, Yes I do believe there is a very careful conspiracy from the (please mark my words) "Zionists" to claim the land from the Nile to the Euphrates as theirs, I don’t know if their dreams went as far as claiming the world, but this I do know and have seen it on their local televisions! First hand, not second hand news! They teach the children in school "Dawlet Israel men el Nil lel Furat – the state of Israel is from the Nile to the Euphrates – ").

And moreover the Zionists' attitudes in many aspects where hatred towards the middle east. There are efforts to veil this slow crawling through their never ending efforts to make agreements with neighboring countries. It is too obvious. It's just so funny. The stupidest thing to do is to underestimate people's intelligence. To think some one is stupid or dumb is the first big mistake anyone can make. Never underestimate a person's mentality, no matter how dumb or stupid "you may choose to think" they are!

Why have they come to Egypt in efforts of conquering our land? They managed to conquer Sinai but only for a while. Again too bad, were pushed out, and yet are still most welcomed in it to visit and stay as long as they wish to, and get first class treatment as well!

You should see Sharm El Sheikh during Jewish national holidays and holy events! It is packed with Jews and people from Israel. I personally made some friends there too. Only the ones I made friends with were peace loving people. They just want to live and let others live without bothering anyone and were not for the existence of the Israeli state. A State established on the blood of the original owners of the land!

Why else would they have secretly allied with the United States Forces in the War on Iraq. It is known to every one they were taking part in it! But too bad, they came out empty handed so far or maybe not so empty handed, but with more disrespect along with any other country that did not admit that this aggression was unfair.

Off topic from your question, but I would like to add, In the United States and in England there are still marches demanding that the troops from both countries be brought back safe home (that was on your local News just yesterday!!!). Why in God's name won't you see the truth? Why can't you admit that the soldiers on these frontiers are being tortured in a war that is not theirs to fight? Why can't you feel the anguish of all your fellow American's families who are sleepless worrying about a close kin? What's in it for you? Maybe because none of your own relatives is in this you cannot feel it, but for me as a Moslem, I feel the pain of each mother worried sick for her son out there, I feel for the fathers, the sisters and the sons and daughters. I feel for them all. And I also feel for the Iraqis in anguish. Don't you see? There is anguish on both sides!

Elstevo said

Who was responsible for 9/11?

Dalulla said

The oppression and injustice of the Foreign Policies of the United States Government against the middle East is responsible.

And by saying so I AM NOT justifying the act, because under no circumstance shall I by any means defend it. But I must admit, it was a result of pressure that was not and still is not being properly contained by the Foreign Policies. And till the United States Government minds its own business or show respect and justice towards the Middle East, the nightmare will continue to recur.

It is something no one desires believe me. What's in bloodshed and insecurity for any one? Can you tell me? What good would the mass murders serve Us Moslems or any one else? By logic it will become an ongoing circle of violence which is the case now. The war on terrorism is doing nothing but increasing it, but not just in our part of the world, but in many other countries that are needless of this agony!

Trust me this will not change as long as the attitude towards the Middle East changes. Some people just got fed up with the arrogant and interfering attitude of the Foreign Policies of United States government. When Bill Clinton was President there was no violence to these extremes, Actually nothing in comparison to what has been happening and still is. If you open your eyes just a bit and walk out of this nutshell you insist to stay in, you will realize that violence increased when Mr. Bush came in Presidency.

Look at his face, how he has aged drastically during this short period of time. I believe it is the result of the extreme stress he's brought onto himself. Never have we heard of tampering with Polls during a presidency election as the whole world witnessed during this last election, never have we heard and seen a percentage so big amongst the United States citizens not wanting a president the way it happened during this last election. Come on please try to be a bit rational, set aside this one track mindedness and open your eyes to see the facts that the whole world witnessed. Not just the Arab Moslems and non Arab Moslems but also many Christians and Jews as well!

Elstevo said

Does Israel have a right to exist?

Dalulla said
Yes, of course it does. But DEFINITELY not on the account of any other nation. Not by demolitions, not by threatening people and bullying them out of their "homelands", not by taking away the air they breathe, and not by believing that Jewish blood is more valuable than any other Human beings' is. Because for fact it is no better.

WE are all human and what makes us different is how we act towards one another. Anyone who is respectable will definitely earn Respect.

P.S. Kindly check out my post titled Netuerei Karta International (Jews United Against Zionism). I do not hate Jews, but I despise Zionists in all senses LOUD AND CLEAR WITH ALL MY HEART!!!

Word of Honor (outcome)

2005-09-21T03:29:00.000+03:00

Before posting about the incident at Mr. Joe's I had sent an e-mail to Mr. Joe himself and there was no response after the call and so therefore I informed him that I am going to post about it on the blogosphere. I felt he is entitled to know. I mentioned the problem briefly and I also mentioned I spoke to someone at their other branch in an attempt to reach him in person, but had failed and that is the reason why I will post about it and that he would be more than welcome to place a comment.

The young lady that called had received the e-mail and also said she had read the post. She was very diplomatic and polite. She said I was wrong for taking Mohammed's word since maybe the next time I went I may have not found him therefore would have had nothing but the receipt, which is right. But my answer was yes I agree but I did not expect that I would face that problem in a shop like that. And the other thing was that I did ask about the amount written in the receipt twice and why it was not the amount I was told of. At the moment I just took his word as a word of honor and I respected it, therefore I expected the same respect as well. Maybe there was a pinch of embarrassment also that made me not insist the amount would be written as verbally agreed to, and that I learned from. I should not be embarrassed in such situation, it is simply my right. But what can I say, sometimes we learn the hard way.

In all cases she asked me to go pick up the difference from the shop and that I was entitled to it. I told her frankly and asked her not to feel offended that I do not wish to go there again because I do not want to deal with the sales people or Bergo from near or far after that experience and that I do not want the money back. I also added I just do not wish harm for Mohammed on a large scale and that I felt Bergo should have handled it in a better manner since he is the shop manager.

In all cases, I felt the outcome was good.

I do wish to thank "Eng. A" for her decency.

However, I still do not feel good about going to take the money. Any suggestions?

Word of Honor?

2005-09-17T17:01:00.000+03:00

Am I mistaken for trusting a man with his word? I guess sometimes you should not really trust people or expect honesty in every thing they say (which is a pity). I always thought that a person's word is a word of honor and that it means something. I personally do apply that as best as I can, and in the case I feel I cannot fulfill what I say, I rather not say anything.

I am still in shock at what I'm about to write, I might be mean for writing it and making it public. But one thing I believe in is that we should not let people get away with wrong doings especially if there is a possibility it may happen again to someone else.

I mentioned my cousin's wedding earlier. I went to the tailor's and got started in my dress making, which turned out quite nice. The tailor is such a sweet heart, and really is so good at keeping her promises. It was the first time I dealt with her. She gives you a date and fulfills her duties, even though under pressure on such short notice but she said she can handle five dresses which need lots and lots of work and she has. One was already finished on September 8th 2005, which was Heba's dress for her wedding ceremony at the mosque and was a beautiful piece of work inside out.

On the 30th of August I had decided to go shoe shopping. I was out doing a couple of things and I ended up in Dokki instead of home. That alone was a long story but not relevant right now.
Omar slept with me while I was in the cab. So I decided to take him to Mom's place instead of heading home in the heat and traffic jam of that day.

I wanted to go buy some mineral water. So I put Omar to bed and left. I decided I would have a walk to vent off from the pressure of incidents earlier that required so much control not to loose my temper.
I stopped at Aldo's (a shoe shop) and decided it was an opportunity for me to take a look while Omar was sleeping. So I did.

The color of my dress needed a certain color which I hadn't seen much of in shops. It is two layers, one very light beige and the other not sure how to even spell the color but it is sumo, I think peach, so the color combination needs a certain level of beige but mixed with peach as well. Besides for me to find something that I really like is kind of difficult sometimes.

Anyway, kept walking went to Venti to check Top's shoes inside, and then passed by Mr. Joe's.

I went inside and found one that I really liked. I had a piece of the material to check the colors and it matched beautifully. At the time a man from the shop called Mohammed was attending to me. Sitting outside at the desk was Bergo Younan, Joe's brother, both shop and factory owners (so I was told later on).

Mohammed told me the shoes cost L.E199 and the bag L.E79. He added that they were offering a discount of 40% and 10 % in case I took two of their products, so the total of both shoes was calculated at L.E199 (which I think was wrong because it should have been around L.E191). I needed to buy a bag and shoes anyway. However, there was a problem with the pair at the shop, it had a stain and the straps were all dismantled for some reason. In other words it had defects. I asked if they had another, the answer was no, but we can arrange to have one made at the factory, Mohammed said. I said great. I was happy to find something to match with my dress, its style appealing to me, and that I didn't have to search anymore. Mohammed said it would take about 10 days to be made, and I was lucky because I had time to wait.

He told me he would have to first check with the factory if they had the same color of the material and to check again if they can do it. I said alright but I asked him to be kind enough to inform me right away to enable me to look again incase it would not be possible (I'm pretty sure Bergo could hear the discussion all the way through because he was in the shop and there was no other customer but me).

All went well and the second day Mohammed told me it was alright with the factory and that they would do it. I went later on that day in the evening to pay the deposit. I paid L.E100 deposit and waited for him to write down a receipt. When he did I noticed he wrote L.E285 or L.E287, so I asked what that price was, and added I thought you mentioned the total would be 199 for both after the discount. He said yes it is, but I am writing it down like this for our papers. I asked him are you sure? He answered yes, don't worry about it. I TRUSTED him and took his word as a word of honor. As I took the receipt I asked again, are you sure the total is L.E199? He said yes again and added don't worry.

The day came for me to go pick up my shoes and bag. I went but when I spoke earlier to ask for Mohammed a man called Ayman had answered and knew about my order, and said that it was ready for me to pick up.

I went the same day. Mohammed was there, Ayman was there and I hadn’t seen Bergo around (yet). I took a look at the shoes and bag and they seemed fine, I was glad and smiling. I addressed Ayman since he was sitting at the desk saying, the amount left is L.E 99 right? He said no madam; it is 185 or 187 can’t remember quite exactly. I said excuse me? Why? Mohammed told me that the total was L.E.199 for both after discount, so how come now you are telling me this amount? He went on about that it was a special request order and that they do not usually do that and so forth, and that the amount on the receipt was so and so. After the smile, my facial expression turned quite straight and serious. I firmly replied that I had inquired about the amount on the receipt twice before and that I was informed it was for paper work on their end and I did not doubt or question what I was told, simply because I never thought it would be otherwise. I said well none of this has been mentioned. It is not my problem; I should have been informed earlier. Boy was I upset, filled with so much anger but held it back.

Bergo came from inside, asked what the matter was? So I told him (I did not know his name then). He went on saying the same as Ayman!! I told him I really did not understand why none of this was mentioned earlier and moreover, its not that I did not ask about the amount written on the receipt, I did and I mentioned the answer I was given by Mohammed. He said well Mohammed is new here and it was a mistake! (A MISTAKE??? !!!! )

I asked: A mistake? Ok a mistake, fine, but who is supposed to handle this mistake? You or me? He said no not us!!!! Someone working for him does a mistake and the client has to bear the consequence! Never have I heard of such nonsense in my life!

Bergo says, would you accept an apology (in such a way that makes u feel like you wish that apology was a brick that you can throw back at him because of the way he said it)? Can you believe this?

I said no I do not accept it. Bergo's face was turning red! The frustrated angry red! (lol) when I was the one who should have kicked them all! I told him listen, the money is available that is not the problem and is not the issue, so he answered in such a rude manner, well thank God in such a sarcastic tone and manner.

I was furious but still held it back and spoke seriously. Bergo went on saying we did this for your sake and to win a customer with a slight change of tone and facial expression. My reply was, and is this your idea of winning a client? What are you doing exactly? Cornering me, because you know I am tight in time and that I have no other choice?? If you had told me from the beginning at least I would have had the choice to take it or leave it. (I would have honestly taken it anyway, but I do not like the concept of being treated like that).

I went on saying, let me tell you something, what you are doing is very very "UGLY". And your apology was not even sincere because I am not a regular client; you're just attempting to end the discussion and get your unjustified amount of money and believe me you are not winning a client at all. I turned to Ayman, politely (but so filled with anger, you cannot imagine), took out L.E200 and handed it to him and waited for the change and said thank you every one. Good bye and left.

As I walked out of the shop, I really had this urge to slam the door and wished I could have kicked their buts! I just walked away and called a friend to vent out to.

I just could not believe this could happen at a supposedly reputable shop in one of the luxurious areas of Cairo! Never had I imagined it. I would have taken the shoes anyway because it was the perfect match for my dress. What bothered me was not the money rather the principle of the word given.

Well, I learned my lesson, but I didn't like it. I enjoy trust, and I suppose I do not distrust people in general. I do not like to. I will continue to be trustful because I do not like supposing people are not trustworthy and cannot give a word of honor.

I've been through some encounters where I was shocked at people, even gave many chances but ended up discovering how low they were and not trust worthy. But also was not disappointed by many others, actually sometimes you need to encourage people to handle the responsibility of the trust given to them, but it is like a two bladed sword depending on so many factors. But in the case I mentioned, it is either you trust or loose trust, therefore either they win a regular customer or loose one and moreover giving such a bad impression about their integrity.

I will be more careful I suppose. I think I should have insisted that the amount verbally mentioned to me to have been jotted down as is, but again, I never imagined it would go that far!

In all cases I feel no loss. My dress was pretty I was told and the shoes did make a good impression (lol). At the end of the day I feel no loss. Money comes and goes, but it is a matter of principle.

Mr. Joe's shop is one place I will not set foot at again. I said 7asbya Allah wa ne3ma al wakeel. I feel that was more than enough, plus the fact that I gave them a piece of my mind, although I do not think that would have any effect on them and specifically Bergo Younan!

I still feel bad about this whole incident. Still comes to my mind and I still feel shocked. How could they do something like that?

Om Reham

2005-09-13T22:20:00.000+03:00

Om Reham is but a woman in her fifties that works as a janitor at our university. The works is hard, and she is definitely past her prime. She has back problems, is quite over weight, and her health in all does not seem fit to the job she does. And yet she does it because obviously she has no choice, and needs the salary, meager as it is.

She has this little buffet (canteen) that she set up to sell the students some snacks, napkins, chips etc. It might offer a little profit. Her real name I do not know, all I know is the “Om Reham” name (mother of reham), indicating that she has a daughter by the name of reham.

One day I was getting something from her buffet and the girl who attended to me appeared to be well educated, well dressed, polite, proud and well bred. There was another girl there more or less with the same description, helping her out. Asking who they were, they told me they were actually reham and her sister (the daughters of Om reham). They also told me they have another third sister who sometimes helps them out. They were all in universities, studying, and ambitious. During school, their mom would not let them help her, for the sake of paying attention to their studies. I was very impressed by their mother, who I am sure deprived herself of a lot for the sake of her daughters living relatively comfortably and with dignity.

She would never take charity or tips. When ever I buy something, she is very careful to give me the full change, and if I tell her it is fine, you can keep the change, she refuses. She is so sensitive and proud. Everyone depends on these extras from time to time, but she seems determined to do it alone.

Today I saw her at the university. Knowing that college term begins in a few days, I asked her if her girls are ready for the new year. She smiled and said: “I hope so, after my daughter gets well ISA”. “Your daughter?” I asked. “What is wrong?”

She tells me simply and with a sad smile that her eldest “reham” has been diagnosed with a heart condition where her arteries are constricted. She is supposed to undergo open heart surgery next Saturday where some of the arteries of her heart are to be replaced by others from her hip. Of course she seemed very worried, sad, and afraid, yet patient, hopeful and accepting. When the hospital bill was mentioned she said it would cost 9000 pounds!

Now that is a lot of money for someone like her. I am sure it is more than she can possibly afford. Seeing that, I asked her if she is short or something. I know a lot of people who would be willing to help financially in a case like this. She simply said: “no thankyou so much. All I want from anyone is for them to pray for her to get better”.

I offered again, and offered a Gam3eyya instead, in case her pride was preventing her from just taking the money, but again she said all she needs is prayer, she has some money now, and she will make do ISA.

I said to myself : subhan Allah. The pride of this woman. I remembered the verse in Quran : “(Charity is) for fuquraa’ (the poor), who in Allah’s Cause are restricted (from travel), and can not move about in the land (for trade or work). The one who knows them not, thinks that they are rich because of their modesty. You may know them by their mark, they do not beg of people at all...” (2:273)

لِلْفُقَرَاء الَّذِينَ أُحصِرُواْ فِي سَبِيلِ اللّهِ لاَ يَسْتَطِيعُونَ ضَرْبًا فِي الأَرْضِ يَحْسَبُهُمُ الْجَاهِلُ أَغْنِيَاء مِنَ التَّعَفُّفِ تَعْرِفُهُم بِسِيمَاهُمْ لاَ يَسْأَلُونَ النَّاسَ إِلْحَافًا وَمَا تُنفِقُواْ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَإِنَّ اللّهَ بِهِ عَلِيمٌ

If she will not take money, the least I can do is to pray for Reham to be well and recover safely. For anyone who reads this, please pray for her.

The empty seat that offered so much (Republished)

2005-09-13T04:59:00.000+03:00

Picture by: Ian Britton (c) freefoto.com
That empty seat that offered so much

An empty seat maybe for………..

Maybe for two lovers to sit and talk, after a nice walk in the park
Maybe for someone who wants to be alone who needs to empty his mind from life's stress
Maybe for someone waiting for another to come as a meeting place then off to somewhere to have some fun
Maybe for the tree leafs to fall upon, especially all the time in autumn
Maybe for two old people to share memories, of 30, 40 or even 50 years that have quickly flown
Maybe for a jogger to rest upon, after a long round and the next to come
Maybe for someone who needs to sit silently to read, to enjoy the sun and the cool breeze
Maybe for a homeless to on it sleep, for the floor is too cold indeed
Maybe for an old man that needs to have some fresh air
Maybe for a young man that needs to get away
Maybe for a widow who misses being with her husband
Maybe for a child to eat an ice cream cone
Maybe for someone who wants to enjoy nature since the city is filled with crowds and pressure
Maybe for two friends doing absolutely nothing, but still having a great time!

This empty seat can offer so much more than meets the eye!

They really do grow up fast (Part 2)

2005-09-12T03:13:00.000+03:00

September 9th, 2005, was another happy day for my other side of the family (mothers side, my parents are related anyway).

My cousin who has been brought up close with me got married. Also eight years of difference, but this time it's a she. A very special she. The wedding ceremony took place at the mosque, but the wedding party still to come. It is worth mentioning, those couple really fought to be together. Regardless of the details, they really stuck up for one another, to be together.

Mohammed fell in love with Heba while still studying at university. Went directly to her parents and told them he wants to marry her as soon as they both finish. At the beginning things went smooth, but later some complications came about.

Regardless, what matters is they both got what they wanted. I pray that their marriage turns out just great insha'Allah (God Willing). Both families are now in harmony, set their differences aside for the better good. The couple was beautifully united by the sacred bond of an Islamic wedding ceremony.

(Allahoma barek lahoma wajma3 baynahoma fi khayr – May God grant them his blessings and join them in goodness).

As the ceremony took place, a flash back came to me of what they have gone through to be together that day, as husband and wife. Tears suddenly gathered in my eyes and I was concentrating with the bride. She also cried silently. Tears of comfort I guess, tears of happiness she is with the one she wanted to be with, the one she loves.

Her parents are the very dedicated loving type. Her father is extremely emotional. He cried a couple of times and so did her mom, but I think her father more. I find that so nice. (My father never cried! I guess he was too busy feeling relieved I decided I would get married, lol) A Father's tears of joy and sorrow at the same time. Joy his little one has grown and shall have her own family and wishes her the best. This man was a real father. He really shared (and still does) brining up those girls (three of them). He is a Gynecologist and my aunt is an Ultrasound specialist. They both had equal shares in every thing including the girls bringing up and household responsibilities. He changed diapers, gave showers, fed them (all, he cooked when my aunt was on duty), held them, drew diagrams for them, taught them different arts, and best of all was and still is not just a father, but a friend. Not only to them, but to my sisters and I, and to his orphan niece, and to anyone who needs a friend and mentor. God bless him. He is like a father to me. I feel he is a blood tie, not just my aunt's husband. I truly look up to him.

I pray Heba and Mohammed take good care of one another. I pray for their love to grow by the second and always rise above any thing that comes their way as a couple. I pray the same for all couples!

The whole mood was nice and happy. I can't wait till the wedding. It'll be beautiful insha'Allah. Hope I can post about it soon... September 16th, 2005 is the day!

Young ones... They grow so fast!

2005-09-09T23:51:00.000+03:00

Years pass by so quickly, one day you are saying cot chi co, to someone, the next you can barely reach their shoulders.. oh well I guess what makes it more difficult is that iI am short too (lol). Eight years difference between my twin cousins and I.

The years pass by so quickly. Our young ones are on their way to having their own young ones too! It is nice how this statement repeats itself over and over.

I remember once Hisham my cousin had a problem in school (he was in high school I think at the time). His mother could not go, so I went instead. Just for you to kind of try to imagine, I am quite short (ehm ehm 150cms-short-) and petit and Hisham is about 180cms and quite well built (masha'Allah).

What was very funny was the teacher that came in to speak to me had not met my aunt before. She walked in with a big welcoming statement and smile, addressing me as his mother! I could not help it, Hisham and I looked at one another in amazement and laughed. I told her I'm sorry I am his cousin not his mom. I am not even married yet! I still remember this incident and laugh.

It is so strange how twins can be so different. Hisham has a twin, Mohammed, but not identical. I used to think they would still have extreme similarities. But they are two totally different characters. One very outgoing, always on the streets somewhere or at the club or something, and is still in his last year at University. The other graduated with an over all GPA equivalent to a b+.

One so dedicated to love, the other to extra curricular studies and was always working in summers having nothing direct to do with female relationships except on a "by the way" basis sort of thing. One so into computers, does serious stuff, the other plays games. One drives his mom up the wall every now and then (but is still so gentle and loving with her) and the other calms her down. In other words one down to earth and has a great sense of responsibility and the other very carefree.

What is really common is they are equally lovable, sweet, giving, kind, reliable, and last but not least cute in a different way and loved by every one around them!

The 10 minute or so younger twin's engagement was yesterday! He was so happy and glowing with energy. He had been in love with his fiancé ever since they went to high school. Now they are engaged. I am really happy for them.

I wanted to post this in his honor. Just to say please pray for him to be happy with his choice and to be successful in all aspects of his life. This post is dedicated to Hisham, my extremely love driven cousin!

Another prayer please, pray for me to live to see my own son a happy groom next to a lovely birde.

Where Am I In The Midst Of All This?

2005-09-06T16:23:00.000+03:00

If you are put in a situation where you are in a state of unhappiness and confusion and you had been living a very difficult life expecting the new one to be different. Different in the sense of finding comfort, ease, and containment (none of the previous are in reference to materialistics, but on emotional grounds). What would you do?

a) Try so hard and keep on trying? Considering, what if you become exhausted and lost all the energy and are really unhappy. Where will u get the energy to continue trying from?
b) Walking out. But that will break up other people's lives but will save yours? And maybe you can be able to make up for it but from a distance? Considering it might take some time for others to forgive you. But there might be a possibility they won't.
c) Forget about what you were craving for all your life for the sake of others' happiness? But you will end up living in anguish and break down slowly or snap at some point or keep hanging in there but choose others' happiness and comfort over yours?

Personally I am in search for peace. Real peace. I despise loud voices. I hate it when people are not logical in discussions and do not want to solve things, but rather leave them hanging without logic or consideration and expect that life will be smooth shortly. I am trying and will not cease trying. What happened to civilized discussions? I always wonder. You can always give way to the following unless if you are an obstinate person:
First step: Share your idea of the subject
Second step: Give the second person a chance to do the same
Third step: Try to first think of the other person's view, if reasonable why not accept it, if not then go to step four.
Fourth Step: Try to convince the other person of your point of view without making them feel they are obliged to accept it. Do not be a dictator.
Fifth step: If the other person is not convinced go to step six
Step Six: Allow the other person to practice their right of Step four
Step seven: If none of the two choices appeal to either of you, try to both reach a compromise.
Step eight: If a compromise is reached, then all well and good, if not try to find a way to comfort one another as much as possible and make the best out of the situation by taking a third opinion if applicable. If not, then both of you must try to refine to be able to reach to compromises or convincing one another.

If none of the above work, small bricks will build up to make a wall between both of the parties involved and that will be a big problem. Isolation!

I do not like wasting good things in life. Nothing in life is perfect, but can reach to a certain level of human standards of satisfactory perfection according to each individual's real needs. Perfection is only for the Creator with no doubt. Maybe the problem is that I am a Libra. I like things to be balanced, to suit everyone. For everyone to be content and happy including myself. But I do not like the idea of continuous and one sided sacrifices. Unfortunately sometimes there you reach a dead end that results in being "a no solution" situation for one of the involved parties which I think is totally unfair and agitating.

Some people live and die sacrificing for those around them and die doing so. I do of course respect and revere those people. They definitely endured so much during their lifetimes. But why does it have to be one sided, and more over not even noticed or appreciated? There are sacrifices that are essential in life. The only one and lovable sacrifice I can think of right now, is the motherly sacrifice where so much effort is put into bringing up a little one to be a true someone. That type I believe is done with pleasure and no question. Although I hear the oddest comments from some people I know, but will not dwell in depth into that now, maybe later though.

I enjoy relationships that are based on equality, justice, consideration, respect, compassion, and freedom. But not the negative freedom if you know what I mean. I mean the freedom that will not harm or hurt anyone as best as possible. Freedom that will add not destroy.

That is the true difficulty of the situation. Freedom that will not hurt. How can that be accomplished in the midst of all the self centeredness we are living in today?

If I didn't have hope, I would not still be asking questions and seeking solutions.

Last but not least, in the midst of all that, where am I?

A walk to remember, anyone?

2005-09-04T02:50:00.000+03:00

Has any one had a walk to remember? Something that really brought joy to your mind? Happiness? Without remembering anything bad or painful?

I was in Marina, I think it was almost three weeks ago. I remember not wanting to come back to Cairo. I decided I will go for a walk, didn’t know where yet, but then I ended up going to one of the beaches overlooking the salty lakes opening out to sea.

It was late at night. It stirred up many memories dating back to about fourteen years ago. It reminded me of a time that was so carefree and fun. It reminded me of some very good times I had just before I entered University with some very precious friends. Cannot deny, I did remember some bad memories, but for the first time in a long time, the good memories prevailed quite prominently al hamd Lillah wa7dou!

Good memories serve well at moments of weakness or exhaustion from responsibilities. The pain during that walk did not last long though. I truly Thank God for that. The atmosphere was just beautiful. The silence, the cool breeze, the sound of the waves' gentle crash to the shore were all nice. I felt so much serenity. I sat on the sand for quite some time. It truly felt good. Not just the sand, but the whole experience. I hope I can repeat it over again some time insha'Allah.

I Feel Thankful

2005-09-02T15:58:00.000+03:00

I've been given links from my dentist some time back to a couple of blogs that were not shocking especially after I had and still have encounters with ones I already came across for myself, and not to mention people I sometimes meet and talk to in person, but thank God are very few. Regardless of who's they were (honestly I felt it was even a waste of time reading the posts) they really did earn my personal sympathy. I say this because I pity them from God's wrath. God is so merciful and kind, but if people insist on defying his orders, then so be it, they will have brought it onto themselves, but unfortunately only after it is too late, unless they refrain from those awkward thoughts and beliefs. (afa la tata3kiloun? Do you not reason? Words out of the Quraan). What is interesting is the Quraan and Prophet Muhammed mentioned such people. Sub7an Allah what is there that we haven't been told by God. So many current beliefs have been mentioned in the Quraan, and some more also mentioned and conveyed by prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih), that there shall came a time when a person hanging on to their religion shall be like one who holds onto a burning pebble. I sure pray to be one of those, I think I am trying my best (I hope so) and I do know there are people around me who do the same and even much better, and I am thankful for that. Sure wouldn't want to be directly surrounded by strays.
YES STRAYS is the only way I can define those who argue with basics of clear commands and standards of belief. Very obsitinate people, Allah yahdina all. Even those were mentioned in the Quraan, Sub7an Allah, and we were told of them by Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih). Al Hamd lillahi al lathy mann 3alina bel hedaya, wama kouna linahtadya illa an hadana Allah. This blogging business has in fact strengthened me religiously speaking. Sub7an Allah. The effect is miraculous. I always believed things happen for a good reason. God has been and is kind to me and to all people. Only if people would know the amount of Love He has for us, they would not have been so ungrateful and followed their personal desires in the manner prevailing now. I wish it stopped at that, because then there would have been no problem because it would have been a one to one problem (creation and Creator). The problem is, instead of people just saying we are not able to abide with this or that, they deny, argue, and also invent! How creative! And not only that also, they manage to mock those who do actually try to abide with certain religious conducts ordered by Allah and His Prophet. Moreover, describe them as blind followers or ignorant and so forth. Those people seem to think they are "the intellects" of society. Very strange, I would say. If they had been true intellects and "know it all" then at least Quraanic verses would have knocked some sense into their brains! Too bad it is their inevitable loss.

Allahoma Zidna 3ilman wa Iman kama tou7eb watarda, Ameen. (Oh Allah increase our knowledge and faith in the manner that would please you, Amen)
Shocking isn't it, this human weakness and never ending search for excuses to abandon obligations and duties… I pray God for strength and increase of Iman, I pray for him to help me and all people to stay on the right path, I pray that even if we fall into sin, that we be given a chance to repent before it is too late.
Allahoma Ighfir li wa lel nas ajma3een, wahdina wahdy man dal. Allahomma La taj3al fi koulbina zarata kibr. Ameen Ameen Ameen
(I pray for forgiveness for me and for all mankind, I pray for guidance for me and for those who went astray, I pray that Allah remove any particle of arrogance in our hearts…Amen Amen Amen)

Neturei Karta International (Jews United Against Zionism)

2005-08-29T01:06:00.000+03:00

There is a site I believe many Moslems should check out. It gives an insight to the reality of a fraction of the Jews in the world. A positive one actually, or so I see it, http://www.netureikarta.org/

I learned by time not to judge people according to their beliefs. Belief is one's own relationship with God. But what I also learned is we have a duty in life, and that is to be informative and to spread the word of God in the best manner possible. Being informative without mixing up between basic rules and orders in religion and our own personal opinions.

We need to speak of things we understand and have strong basis for, rather than saying things from our own points of views. That is, where religion is concerned. Religions have their respect.

When I was young I had apathy towards Jews in general. I hated "them" for what was happening in Palestine. I did not differentiate between Jews and Zionists. When I did, I felt I was not being fair in my generalization in this aspect in particular.

Some time back, about a year and a half, I also watched an interview of an authentic and active Jewish Rabbi (if i recal properly) called David Wise. I was quite thrilled to know that he and many more authentic Jews shared and agreed to the belief that Palestine is not for the Jews. It belongs to Palestinians.

His exact words were" Israel dawla ded Allah" Israel is a state against the will of God.

In all cases, never mind what I think now, I'd like whoever reads this to check out this site out.

Allah yahdy banu Adam to what He pleases. Ameen, Ameen, Ameen.

to my friend

2005-08-25T02:54:00.000+03:00

My dear friend, I hear you talk, and I listen, and I so feel for you. I wish there was something I can do to make your distress end. I can feel your pain, and more, your panic and struggle with yourself. truly that is the biggest struggle of all. no one can run or abandon one's self, so the struggle can not leave you until resolved. you want to be good, right, and yet you want to be happy. And right now, you feel these things conflict within you, and you are confused. You wish you can be told what the correct solution is. The solution that would not cause you regret or remorse, or worse, God's anger or disapproval.

I feel for you with all my heart, wish I can reach in your heart and make it all better. I know I can't, though I promise to do what i can, but el hamdolillah, I know God can, and I am hopeful that He indeed will. I pray to God to help you out, I also ask God that I be a good friend to you these days, that I give you the right advice, and be a good listener when you need to talk.

things get clouded sometimes, especially when you feel that you are tired and want to do something about it, and are held back by your guilt, consciense or your own self doubts. You are what you are, and that is no small thing. I think you are a good person, with a good heart and good intentions. you are certainly a great friend. sometimes, things are more than we can handle, and it doesn't mean we are bad people. take it easy on yourself. Cheer yourself up, I will definitely try to help you with that ISA. Hope the day comes tomorrow with a smile on your face and peace in your heart. I love you lots. yours D

The unfixed door handle.

2005-08-23T02:55:00.000+03:00

I have been experiencing a problem with my bedroom door handle since a while ago, to be precise, almost three months. I asked my husband to fix it. Problem is I am not the nagging type in general and especially with men, let alone my own husband. The other problem is my husband is forgetful and I think that after almost five years of marriage I discovered that when I do not make a big deal out of things they loose importance, with him that is. I still cannot nag.
I despise and cannot tolerate nagging myself, therefore I do not like to do it, except if it is for something really important and there are what I may call ways of diplomatic nagging.

What I feared is for Omar to get locked inside the room or me outside while he is inside sleeping or whatever situation that would keep me from reaching my son. The door handle was like a nightmare to me. This has been ongoing for the past three months or so. I traveled for one month and back, the door handle was still in the same unfixed situation, so I mentioned it again. After I came back, I stayed in Cairo for two weeks, and then I traveled once again for two weeks or more. I still came back to find the situation unchanged. Door handle was still not functioning properly and my fear was increasing but I still did not want to nag. I asked one more time and was told, it was fixed.

I tried it, but felt there was still something wrong, but was told it was alright. I was still not convinced, but did not want to make an issue out of it and kept my concern to myself.

Today, my housekeeper was cleaning my bedroom, and she complained that she was having trouble opening the door. Just a while earlier, the door handle was working, me thinking that it will be alright since I was told so. Omar was outside playing, I walked in, without my mobile (which was minutes earlier in my pocket) and no phone set hooked in the room.

I went in, closed the door to show the housekeeper how to open it the same way I was told. Big surprise. The door handle won't open the door! Less than a minute later, Omar was standing outside the bedroom door and for some reason felt we were unable to open or maybe he thought we do not want to open, so he started crying. I had been trying to find a way to open it, but when I heard my son crying I was on my way beginning to worry for him being all alone outside. I repeated Bism Illah (In the name of God) several times and prayed it would not come to that for my son's sake. The housekeeper said, "Omar can you open the door?" I told her it was too high for him, but just before I had gone into the room, I had placed Omar's small chair next to the bedroom door. I asked a couple of times to stop crying and not to be afraid. Then I asked him to get the chair and try to open the door.

Since the handle's insides were eaten away, the turning mechanism was not working at all from inside, but better from the outside. This still made it a bit hard. Omar stopped crying. I heard my little one dragging the chair and placing it next to the door. I could hear him climbing on top, and his little arms reaching out for his hands to hold the handle. He kept trying to open it and I was in turn trying to watch the inside metal piece to pull the door back slowly so he won't fall in.

After a couple of trials, it worked thank God. Omar threw himself between my arms. I greeted him with passion and a big smile, told him he was our hero! He had this little shy yet proud smile on his face. He felt he did something good and that was what I wanted to make him feel.

I was so happy having him in my arms again. The whole situation lasted for ten minutes, but I felt it was much longer knowing my two and eight months old baby was out there alone. Especially that at this age I cannot tell him not to cry because God is always and will always be there with him and he has nothing to fear. I do that at many occasions, just to bring out the awareness of God's presence and love within him. But at this young age, it will not solace him much. But still in call cases, God always helps in His own Kind way.

Thank you God for always being there all the time, I think even if Omar ended up alone, with prayers God would have protected him. But even that, I was not put through. Al hamd lillah my door handle test went well.

So many morals I got out of today's incident.

1) Some things have to be nagged through due to the lack of attention received and importance given, but only if it is something very important
2) We cannot always avoid bothering others by nagging especially if it is something of vital importance.
3) Sometimes it is alright to be viewed as a nagger rather than be put in a situation like the one I was in today
4) Children are so so incredibly valuable
5) Children's tears and fear must be avoided as much as possible. They get so vulnerable
6) A child's mind needs to be worked up since early infantile years (I personally used to have discussions with my son and still do, and they seem to work quite nicely and his responses are Masha'Allah quite good for his age –I think-).
7) Try to avoid panicking in a situation like mine or similar, or whatever!
8) Have a grip on your fear and try to think clearly
9) Calm the child down and don't ever let them sense your fear (applies to many situations)
10) Children who are taken away from their parents must be in so much misery (Ya rab 3afina)
11) Parents who are deprived of their kids, for what ever reason must be living in anguish.
12) Death (an extreme measure here) of a child must be devastating. I ask Allah to grant them patience and acceptance and I pray not to be put in that situation. However, If God wills and that (I pray to God forbid) be my situation one day, to be tolerant and accept my fate with patience or die immediately if death will have peace and comfort and most importantly that I be ready for death in terms of deeds.
13) I pray for each and every mother on this earth to see her kids grow up in front of her and be her pride and joy
14) I pray for each and every mother that has infact lost a child to be granted the strength to accept God's will and to be rewarded in the after life insha'Allah.

I hope this door handle gets replaced some time this year!

Shop Girl's questionnair/quiz

2005-08-22T13:22:00.000+03:00

I was reading a post (test like) at shop girl's blog and at the very bottom she said she thinks I should take it too, so i decided to go through it and post it.

Don't know.. I tired at least!

Three names you go by:
*Doudi
*Doudou
*Dalulla

Three screen names you have had:
*Omar (the most valuable – sorry hubby, but motherly instincts- after Allah of course)
*Palestine (I don't know if this can be a name but I reckon it as a very valuable one)
*Satan (the worst name ever!)

Three parts of your heritage:
*Muslim
*Egyptian
*Arab

Three things that you don't like:
*Disrespect
*Intolerance/lack of patience
*Hypocrisy + lies

Sorry those summed up to five not three.. but could not help it!

Three of your everyday essentials:
*A strong mug of tea with a little bit of milk immediately after I wake up (teeth and face washed of course :-), followed by Nescafe with creamer (not milk!).
*Blogging
*Staying in touch with family and friends by phone, msn or whatever other way possible

Three things you are wearing right now:
*A dark blue hair band
*4 earings! (2 on each ear)
*My comfortable slippers
(and clothes of course!)

Two truths and a lie:
*Palestine will Be Free of Occupation (insha'Allah)
*Allah Wa7ed Maloush Tany (one with no partner) and Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) is His last Prophet!
*I just love the American Government's International Policies, especially the latest "War on terrorism"! (Go figure!)

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
*Dressing up real neat and smelling excessively nice (even casual clothes)
*Nice clean Shoes
*Neat hair

(These are the physical, but there are also important characteristics that make a man really a man, but that question was not included)

Three things you just can’t do:
*Can't stop thinking
*Go fishing
*Walking away from certain situations and problems, rather face them and try to sort things out amicably. The last thing I would want to do is get someone upset from me.

Three of your favorite hobbies:
*Horse back riding (don't do much now though)
*Swimming and sun tanning (same as above, became more difficult after I wore Hijab, but I still get chances sometimes)
*Snooker (haven’t in a very long time)

All is on hold except when I get a chance, totally since I am dedicating almost all my time for Omar and hubby. Cannot imagine going out to have fun and leaving my son behind!)

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
*Ride a horse for a good while on the beach while there is a full moon till sunrise or during sunset and see a full moon later
*Having lots of time for myself without having to do anything (I am always doing something, almost all the time)
*Eating ice cream from Baskin Robins

Three places you want to go on vacation:
*Italy
*Spain
*Far East

Three things you want to do before you die:
*Umra or Hajj whichever facilitated, preferably Hajj
*Be able to get through to my son a proper understanding and love of God, His Prophet and all people.
*Leave some sort of an ongoing good deed that will boost me up in my book of Deeds, something Prophet Muhammed and God would be proud of.

Three ways I am stereotypically a woman:
*I get emotional when watching movies and with certain real live situations
*being pampered/spoilt especially emotionally (more important than anything else)
*I adore kids and little animals

Like shop girl, I also think the following should take this test:
Doshar, Rora, lucky Fatima, Irina, hadouta, Haal and Mohammed of Cairo with love should take this test.

Persistence on anger management

2005-08-20T21:51:00.000+03:00

One of the worst weaknesses in human traits is the inability to control anger. Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) warned people from loosing their temper in so many instances one of which he said:

ليس الشديد بالصرعة إنما الشديد الذي يملك نفسة عند الغضب
The strong man is not one who is good at wrestling, but the strong man is one who controls himself in a fit of rage. (Riad al sale7een)

Sub7an Allah...
Bism Illah Al Rahman Al Rahim:
"Wama yantiko 3an il hawa (3) in how ila wa7youn you7a (4) 3alamaho shadeed oul Qouwa(5) Surat Al Najm.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
وما ينطق عن الهوى(3) إن هو إلا وحي يوحى(4) علمه شديد القوى
سورة النجم

Translation:
Nor does he say (aught) of his desire, It is no less than inspiration sent down to him, He was taught by One mighty in Power.

The remaining verses of this Sura are all speaking of Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) and what he said and did, clarifying to the people, non believers and believers that Prophet Muhammed does not speak off his own desires or wills (and honestly even if he did and those were his own teachings and desires, then he would still be worth following). Some people now a days do not believe any more in hadeeth, or simply try endlessly to find a reason not to abide to the teachings and sayings of Prophet Muhammed. When all he taught and inspired was directly coming from God Himself, and we are told that by god in the Holy Quraan.

Allah has created us and thereby knows of us more than we ourselves. Prophet Mohammed spoke of many things in compliment with the verses of the Holy Quraan. He covered every aspect of our lives (that is for those who reason). We are given the manual of leading our lives through the Quraan and Prophet Muhammed's practices which are summed up in the Hadeeth.

Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) also informed us that there are two things in this life that if we hang on to and abide to, we will never go astray. The Holy Quraan and the Sunna (His practices).

I just had to make this long introduction, because I can easily relate almost every thing to religion, to the Quraan and Sunna. Truly this is a religion of ease and peace. Especially peace of mind and heart when people really open their hearts and free themselves of useless obstinate thoughts that will lead them no where but trouble. God has in fact warned us from getting too attached to worldly needs, and did in fact tell us that they are a test. It is not that we weren't told, we were and we were also told that those of us who manage to have control over their desires shall be greatly rewarded with what no eye has seen and no ear has heard and no senses can even come near to reckoning. If we get weak, then we should not go and try to find reason to say that there is something wrong with the Quraan or even the Sunna. It is so obvious that many people when unable to abide to the rule try to find excuses and what is even more amusing is they manage to come up with the silliest excuses and tend to actually have convictions that they are Reasonable, educated well read people. Well, I'd rather be called ignorant than accept these silly unacceptable and unreasonable excuses being set forth within the minds of certain people in the Moslem communities. What is more and more amusing is when u get into a discussion about certain issues and you use Quraanic verses and hadeeth to tell them that they are wrong, they start getting all defensive and think or make themselves believe that you are actually doubting their faith.. Ok this part is also funny. What faith? Honestly if they are given verses straight from the Quraan and Hadeeth (Sa7ee7) and yet still manage to keep going on in an endless and pointless argument, just to prove them selves right, then where is the Faith? Where has it gone in the midst of all this?

The rage and anger tend to take over, mixed up with a pinch of arrogance, which makes an entire discussion go way out of line. Admitting to faults or misconception will not degrade people, on the contrary will elevate them especially in the view of the Creator, let alone people.

When I was younger I found it very difficult to admit to mistakes, but as I grew up, I learned that admitting is the first step towards proceeding to a better character and especially in our mizan (our balance of deeds, book that is). It is not by any means a sign of weakness, but rather great strength and persistence to be a better person.

Satan also has a role, we are also told that we can perform wuduu/ablution (the washing up Moslems perform prior to prayers, which includes washing of the hands, gargling the mouth, nose, face, arms till the elbows, wiping the hair and ears and feet till the ankles). A scientific research actually proved that the water neutralizes something through the skin which calms a person down. I wish I remembered what that something was exactly (excuse my bad memory).

But think of it, going to perform wuduu means walking away from the current situation and taking time to vent off. Of course the walking away itself has to include pardon, don't just walk away on someone without saying something otherwise the whole situation will flare up.
Saying a3outho Billah min alshaytan alrajeem (God I seek refuge from Satan), or just simply asking the other person to continue the discussion later after things can be discussed in an amicable manner with reason and decency.
So many solutions can be rendered. But anger never grants gain, it only results in pure and sometimes irrevocable loss and damage.

When and if people train themselves to be calm and to exchange differences in opinion without being hurtful or obstinate in their beliefs, I think then we will have fewer problems in life.

The problem is, people give in to their anger easily, and quickly react without a moment to reflect on the situation they are in. They give in to the whispers of Satan and their inner weak self. What I do know is that people can if they wish control this anger, it comes by practice; at least give it their best shot. But not trying at all and saying this is the way we are and tough luck is pure and utter nonsense. It is in fact a sign of weakness.

I think one can be strengthened by admitting fault and asking for pardon regardless of what others will think. Also trying to re-open subjects to find solutions (with decency) or compromises is a very healthy thing for human relations and for oneself as well.

Last but not least of course, the greatest gain of all is the pleasure of God.

I am new here

2005-08-19T13:55:00.000+03:00

I have just joined this blog site as a new member. I hope to write about things with Dalulla by my side, so we can be there for each other as well as for you. I just hope my writing would be up to the standards of Dalulla's ! see you soon.

A Post at Haal's Blog

2005-08-12T04:43:00.000+03:00

"Islamic School" was the title of the post.. The comments kept going on and were getting longer. Haal mentioned to me before that she wants short comments. Respecting her will, I decided to carry the discussion here since i do not mind long comments.

Please visit http://www.thewillto.blogspot.com or simply click on Haal under blogs i find ineresting on my side bar. Read the Post, and you'll figure out the rest.

Press comments to continue.

A King Worthy of Respect

2005-08-04T04:54:00.000+03:00

I was born in London, lived there for about a year and half, came back to Egypt, lived here till I was about three and a half, then moved with my parents to Saudi Arabia for almost 14 years.

I turned the television on, searching for mbc3 for Omar to watch Cartoons. All I could see was Al Arabeya and something like news of some sort. I was not concentrating much. But no cartoons, I tried mbc2, same as mbc3, tried One TV, same, then I realized a cliche saying that King Fahd had passed away. I found my heart aching and tears came instantly to my eyes. I was in a strange state of feelings. I almost cried like a baby, but held my tears and stood in front of the television as if it were one of my family members that had died.

I never realized I had this in me for the man. I felt a great loss. I felt the Islamic Umma truly lost. I felt I personally lost a dear someone. I was still in shock, it was not the issue of his death, but more about how I reacted to his death.. I kept saying Enna lillah wa ina ilayhi raje3oun, but I felt a bit weak, physically that is, I could not stay standing from the news I had received first thing in the morning. I sat down and watched, when his picture was shown, my tears came down again, and my body shivered in a strange way.

I wanted to write this the day I saw the news, which was the second day after he died (Allahoma Ighfir Laho war7amh), but I just couldn't. No words I can say will suffice for what I believe this king deserves of credit.

I have been having flash backs on and since that day. I went to Riyadh when it was still not such a big town. This city and others in the kingdom grew with me.

As my parents cared and nourished me, King Fahd was also caring for his country and nourishing it, only he was (masha'Allah) going at a much faster rate than my parents were. The kingdom truly grew so fast into one of the most beautiful and organized countries in the world. From desert to green, from void to sky scrapers, and extremely clean, and best of all, on basis of the Islamic Sharee3a.

This man has offered so much to his people, ex-patriots, and in turn to his country. Only he didn't stop at that, his generosity spread to so many different places and peoples.

I can never say enough about this man. I still am surprised at how I felt and still feel about him, I never knew I had all of this in me. I guess it is the good he planted in his country, I received it too. It got embedded within me without me really realizing it.

He was a respectable Moslem King. He was truly Khadem Al 7aramein, thereby khadem to all Moslems for the sake of Allah. That alone is worth so much more than any words may express in terms of credit or acknowledgment.

To me, King Fahd is a unique leader amongst the Arabs and Moslems, and also amongst all other leaders of this whole world. I myself feel grateful to him, since I lived in His country almost half of my life. That initial half built so much in me, taught me so much, although when we are young we do not appreciate things the way we do when we grow up and mature.

I wish I had the chance to write this while he was living, not that he was going to read it, but it is just a feeling I got. But Allah is watching, hearing and He is all knowing. I am sure this will reach to him somehow.

Allahoma Ighfir Le mawta Al Moslemeen, waghfir lel nas ajma3een, wahdy bano Adam Al Sirat Al Mustakeem... Ameen, Ameen, Ameen. (May God Forgive the dead of the Moslems, and forgive all people, and guide all Adam's descendants the straight path, Amen, Amen, Amen)

The world is big enough

2005-08-03T16:17:00.000+03:00

This was one of the most beautiful pictures I ever ran across.

The baby is so beautiful (masha'Allah). The position in which the baby is, looks as if he/she is still in his/her mother's womb.

Also, the way the man is holding the baby portrays so much tenderness, protection and care.

It is beautiful and holds so many meanings in it.

One thing I see, is black and white can mingle with no barriers.

The world is big enough for everyone. No matter what color people are, they can and should be tender towards one another, they can and should protect one another, and they can and should care for one another.